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The Seminary
Papers
By
Philip D. Ropp
Submitted to
McCormick
Theological
Seminary
In Lieu of
Course Work
For the Fall
Semester --
1977
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People
--
what have you done --
locked
Him
in His golden cage.
Made
Him bend to
your religion
--
Him
resurrected from the
grave.
Ian
Anderson
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In the
fall of 1977, I
entered McCormick
Theological Seminary
in
Chicago for the
purpose of pursuing
the Master of
Divinity degree
necessary for
ordination as a
minister in the
Presbyterian
Church. It
was during the
spring of this same
year that Jack Quirk
and I had
encountered Christ
in a most dramatic
and soul saving
incident that we
have ever since
referred to simply
as "The
Incident." The
story
of
this remarkable year
of 1977 is related
in "The Incident
Year," which
forms the backdrop
to the works
presented here and
so I shall go into
no further detail.
Suffice it to say
that at that time
(and, for that
matter, to this
day) I had placed
much of the blame
for the personal
decline that lead
to this Incident on
the instruction that
I had received at
Alma College
under the guise of
education in the
Christian
faith: My
training
in
the "preministry"
program. While
I certainly
understand that it
is I
and I alone that
bear the ultimate
responsibility, it
is, nonetheless,
also true that the
godless and at times
hedonistic aspects
of my
undergraduate
experience played no
small role in
bringing me to the
edge of the
spiritual abyss that
I had plunged into
when Jesus was
gracious enough to
save a sinner such
as I.
When I entered
McCormick
Theological Seminary
it
was with an open
mind and with the
hope that my
undergraduate
experience had been
an
aberration.
What I discovered
was the same
faithless and
worldly
version of
institutional
Christianity, but
with a thin layer of
smarmy
false pietism spread
over it like honey
over a corpse.
Like the
devil
wearing a "smiley
face" mask.
And this is what I
told them ...
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Elsewhere I have in
rather blunt terms
outlined some of the
observations that I have
made concerning the
state of the church and
of
"Christianity" (the
organized variety) since
beginning my brief
seminary career.
These remarks were made
not out of any sense of
vindictiveness or
superficial indignation,
but more because of a
great
need on my part to
reconcile the reality of
the church to its ideal
as
set forth in the New
Testament. The
basic conclusion that I
have
come to through this
process of analysis is
that the organized
church
is an institution that
bears not even slight
resemblance to that
which
we see within Acts and
the works of Paul.
There
is talk among a few of
reorganizing this or
reforming that, and to
be
sure these persons are
very well meaning in
their intentions.
However, the matter has
gone much past the
results that would be
possible through these
suggested (and in my
opinion cosmetic)
changes. The basic
fault that is to be
found is that of the
corporate structure and
mentality of the
organization
itself. In
any introductory
business course one of
the first principles
that is
taught is that the
corporation has one
major goal that must
supersede
all others: The
propagation of the
organization
itself. It
is for this reason that
the organized church
cannot be representative
of New Testament
Christianity, for when
the responsibilities of
the
faith come in conflict
with the well-being of
the corporate structure,
it is the corporate
structure that must
always win in the
end.
The ridiculous game of
suburban make-believe
Christianity that the
church has involved
itself in must go on
basically as it
is. Not
because it is in
accordance with the
teachings of Christ
(which anyone
must be able to see as
well as I can that it
certainly is not) but
simply because this mode
of expression is good
business.
In
July of
1976, I was a "youth
delegate" to the annual
meeting of my Synod
which
was held complete with
all sorts of meaningless
pomp and ceremony at a
small, Presbyterian
college in southeastern
Ohio. As youth
delegates (most averaged
about 16 years of age --
I was 22 at the
time), we were
instructed by our
counselor to smile at
the
commissioners, be as
polite as possible, and
basically not to cause
any
trouble. We were,
however, allowed to ask
questions, and when I
overheard two
commissioners discussing
an $800,000 "reserve
fund" that
the Synod held, I became
quite curious. I
asked one of them if
holding on to large sums
of money such as that
was not at variance to
Jesus' teaching
concerning the tearing
down of smaller barns to
build
bigger barns and the
importance of trusting
in providence. His
reply was, "I quite
agree with you
theologically, but
having it is just
good business."
When I pushed the issue
by asking if the Synod's
business was always
considered more
important than the
Gospel of Jesus,
I was told in less than
the politest of terms
that as a youth delegate
I was allowed the
privilege of observing
my church in action and
that I
shouldn't abuse that
privilege by asking
questions about things
that I
was too young to have
any knowledge of.
After this, our beloved
youth counselor
instructed us to ask
only "positive"
questions, at
which I gathered up my
things and began the
eight hour drive
home. It was
one-thirty in the
morning, but I was much
more
willing to spend the
rest of the night on the
road than I was to try
to
deal with foolishness
such as that. I
may have been young and
inexperienced, but I was
certainly old enough to
tell right from wrong.
I
had
gone
to this Synod meeting
hopeful of finding a
judicatory that was
sincerely struggling
with the concrete issues
that the Gospel of Jesus
must confront, and
within this context I
will admit to a certain
naiveté. I had
spent the year past
working in a small
church as the assistant
to the moderator of the
session and while
finding some personal
reward in the close
personal relationships
that I
was able to establish
through my pastoral
functioning, I was most
disheartened by the
general lack of a sense
of maintaining any
integrity with the
teachings of the New
Testament faith.
In a
situation where the
church was struggling to
maintain its existence,
the two major goals of
the session were the
purchasing of a new
riding
lawn-mower and the
resurfacing of the
parking lot. In
the self
study that was conducted
the means of attaining
financial security was
seen as a need to
recruit more
"well-to-do" members,
while future
priorities consisted of
buying new flags and a
portrait of Jesus for
the sanctuary.
When
a man that had been
attending the church
regularly (though he had
not
become a member) had
lost his unemployment
benefits and was pushed
out
of the sleeping room
that he had occupied
came to me for help, I
suggested to the session
that he be
employed as a
part-time
church caretaker and
remunerated for his
services as a mission
project. I was in
turn informed that
mission money for such
as
these was turned over to
the Salvation Army and
that this man should go
there for help, his
pride not
withstanding.
There were insurances
and such things to think
of that just simply made
the church's role in
such an undertaking
quite impossible (though
of course they were able
to find $1800 for their
parking lot and $500 for
their new
lawn-mower). This
poor soul was then
forced to spend the next
month sleeping on the
floor of my office
(luckily I was able to
hide
this fact from the
church people who I am
certain would have put a
stop
to this immediately due
to insurances or such
other nonsense) until I
was able to find help
for him through the
local Social Services
office,
which succeeded in
taking what remained of
this proud little man's
dignity away from him
and would ultimately
result in his death
(another
story which is told
elsewhere).
Though admittedly this
is an extreme case, it
nonetheless is symbolic
of the deep sickness
that has manifested
itself within the
church. Money and
business are the major
concerns, and though of
course there are many
well meaning individuals
that are very much
concerned with this sate
of affairs, they are
sadly a very
insignificant
minority.
Throughout the church
structure there is
much talk of changing
this or that and of
affirmation and
Christian
commitment, yet it is
obvious through
escalating salaries, the
widespread stress upon
the acquisition of
material treasures, and
the
general lack of regard
and commitment to the
faith of Jesus and the
Apostles that this talk
is at its most basic
level nothing more than
empty rhetoric.
When the Christian
facade that the church
has
attempted to construct
is torn away all that is
left is a corporation
like most any other,
save the all important
special tax privileges
that
it enjoys, and as with
any other corporate
structure its most
important
concern is and will
always remain the
corporate structure
itself.
While
reading through the
collection of essays
that follow I fully
realize
that there will be those
that will attempt to
pass me off as merely
another overzealous
"fundamentalist" or as
some sort of
fanatic.
I invite you to read
closely, for to the
thoughtful reader it
will be
obvious that I am by no
means a fundamentalist
nor a fanatic. To
those that tend to deal
with people by attaching
labels to them and so
disregarding whatever
they have to say, I ask
merely your
indulgence. It is
my fond hope, however,
that many will find what
is written in the
ensuing pages
disquieting and perhaps
thought
provoking, for in all
honesty it can be noted
that I am neither stupid
nor poorly educated.
The
tone that I have adopted
is one that is
admittedly born out of
anger
and frustration, but
more it is an attempt to
simply express my
feelings in the most
honest and
straightforward manner
possible.
It is my contention that
there is a great and
eternal truth that is
presented within the
Bible, that curious and
ancient collection of
documents, a truth that
cannot and must not be
submerged in the myriad
of esoteric and in many
ways useless studies
that characterize
virtually all of that
which claims to be
education in the
Christian
faith. It is a
truth that transcends
the historical and
cultural
barriers that are
claimed by many to be
the all important
criteria in
determining right and
wrong, truth and
fiction.
The crux of the
matter, then, is just
this simple: to those
that have rejected the
reality of an
all-powerful
transcendent being as
childish, primitive,
unscientific, or
unintellectual, I will
most likely appear to be
at
least somewhat
deluded. I am well
aware of all of the
arguments
that can be made from
these various positions,
for I too have lived
within traps such as
these for a considerable
length of time, and I
have made to others all
of the arguments that I
presume will be used
against what I have
written in the ensuing
essays. If you are
right and I am wrong
then it is I that have
made a fool of myself
and I
apologize for my
impertinence. If,
however, it turns out
that I
am right after all then
it is not me that you
will have to prepare
your
excuses for and I wish
you luck. My
intent here is not to
pass
any judgments nor to
abuse or insult. I
wish only to instruct
and ask only that the
reader, regardless of
status or position,
attempt
to keep his mind open to
the very distinct
possibility that things
may
not always be as they
appear.
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And
now,
go,
write it
before them on
a tablet, and
inscribe it in
a book, that
it may be for
the time to
come as a
witness
forever.
For they are
a
rebellious
people, lying
sons, sons who
will not hear
the
instruction
of the Lord;
who say to the
seers, "See
not;" and to
the prophets,
"Prophesy not
to us
what is right;
speak unto us
smooth things,
prophesy
illusions,
leave
the way, turn
aside from the
path, let us
hear no more
of the Holy
One
of Israel."
Isaiah
30:8-11
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With Liberty
And
Justice
for
All
By Philip D.
Ropp
November,
1977
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The
Last Judgment
"Then the King
will say to
those on his
right hand,
'Come, you
whom my
father has
blessed, take
for your
heritage the
kingdom
prepared for
you
since the
foundation of
the
world.
For I was
hungry and you
gave
me
food; thirsty
and you gave
me drink; I
was a stranger
and you made
me
welcome; naked
and you
clothed me,
sick and you
visited me, in
prison
and you came
to see
me.'
Then the
virtuous will
say to him
in reply,
'Lord, when
did we see you
hungry and
feed you; or
thirsty and
give you
to
drink?
When did we
see you a
stranger and
make you
welcome;
naked
and clothe
you; sick or
in prison and
go to see
you?'
And the
king
will answer,
'I tell you
solemnly, in
so far as you
did this to
one of
the least of
these brothers
of mine, you
did it to
me.'
Next he
will
say to those
on his left
hand, 'Go away
from me with
your curse
upon
you, to the
eternal fire
prepared for
the devil and
his
angels.
For I
was hungry and
you never gave
me food; I was
thirsty and
you never gave
me anything to
drink; I was a
stranger and
you never made
me welcome,
naked and you
never clothed
me, sick and
in prison and
you never
visited
me.'
Then it will
be their turn
to ask, 'Lord,
when when
did
we see you
hungry or
thirsty, a
stranger or
naked, sick or
in prison,
and not come
to your
help?
Then he will
answer, 'I
tell you
solemnly,
in so far as
you neglected
to do this to
one of the
least of
these, you
neglected to
do it to
me.' And
they will go
away to
eternal
punishment,
and the
virtuous to
eternal life.
Matthew
25: 34-46
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My
friend,
Ray, died last
night.
He was no
great leader,
no great
personality,
and by the
standards that
such things
are judged, he
made
no great
contribution
to
humanity.
He was a
little man
like so
many little
men that spend
their lives
groping for a
little dignity
and
end up in an
obscure grave
wearing the
only decent
suit they've
ever
owned.
Instead of
eulogies the
most that is
said is,
"Well, he's
better
off."
Ray is not
better
off.
He's dead.
Life was never
easy for
Ray. At
the age
of 12, when
most boys are
busy playing
at the things
that boys do,
Ray
was setting
pins in a
Grand Rapids
bowling alley
for 10 cents a
line to
help support
his
mother.
His father had
died when Ray
was still
an infant, and
the subsequent
moving around
of his family
never
permitted him
to attain more
than a second
grade
education.
This
lack of
education
bothered Ray a
great
deal. On
the dozens of
job
applications
that he filled
out and never
heard from
again he would
always fill in
the blank
labeled
"education"
with "grade 6
completed."
Ray was
embarrassed
about his lack
of education,
but
he could read
and write a
little and
this was
something in
which he
took great
pride.
He was able to
read well
enough to
spend
lonely hours
reading the
stories that
filled his
dog-eared old
Bible,
and he read
well enough to
attain an
understanding
of those
teachings
that so many
who claim a
strong
adherence to
the Christian
faith seem
to
overlook.
He learned and
believed that
no matter how
little he
had it was to
be shared with
those even
less fortunate
than
himself.
I have seen
him spend
several week's
pay to buy a
second-hand
sofa and
within a week
give it away
because,
"those folks
got a baby and
they didn't
have no bed
for the little
fellow and I
just
couldn't stand
the thought of
him having to
sleep on the
floor."
I have seen
him go without
things that he
needed because
he'd spent his
money on milk
for the baby
that slept on
his sofa in
the dingy
apartment
below his own.
There are some
ridiculous
values by
which this
society of
ours judges a
man.
Fame, fortune
and prestige
are held
to be the
balance
weights
against which
that mystical
and elusive
quality
"success" is
weighed.
By this
measure Ray
was indeed a
little man,
for he left
this world
with very
little more
than he had
when he
entered
it. How
sad it is that
we tend to
judge a man by
the goods that
he has
acquired or by
the influence
that he
wields,
because to do
so is to judge
him by a
standard that
is
false.
The
true
indication of
the worth of a
man should be
found in such
things as
compassion,
concern for
others,
honesty, and
friendship,
and if this is
so then my
friend Ray was
a giant of a
man, for he
possessed all
of
these
qualities in
abundance.
The fact that
Ray died alone
in his dark,
cold
room with the
4 dollars that
he owned in
his pocket is
in itself a
tragedy, but
it is a
tragedy that
is compounded
by other
circumstances.
Ray knew that
his heart was
bad. So
did the
people at
Social
Services that
had him
working a road
crew to pay
his
rent. So
did the
doctors at the
clinic he
attended.
So did
the people
that provided
the medical
insurance that
paid for the
medication
that he needed
to sustain his
life.
Yet when he
was no
longer able to
afford his
medicine none
of these
people made it
clear
to Ray that he
was eligible
to have it
bought for him
by the
state.
To be sure,
this
information
was provided
on one of the
many forms
that Ray was
handed, but to
a man with
second grade
capabilities
the legalese
of these forms
could just as
well have been
Greek.
In the end it
was a
combination of
work that was
too heavy
for a man with
a bad heart,
no medication,
and a proud, "
I have to
work for what
they give me"
attitude that
proved fatal
to my friend.
It is a sad
commentary on
this society
of ours -- a
society
founded on the
humanistic
principle of
equality for
all -- that
a man that
wants to work
and make his
own way ends
up with
nothing.
Not even his
life. To
the minister
of the church
that Ray
attended it
went even
beyond this
life, for as I
composed my
remarks for
Ray's funeral
he insisted
that I make no
mention of
afterlife
concerning Ray
because
"people like
that" (those
not of the
so-called
"Family of
Christ," i.e.
the Church)
are not so
entitled.
For Ray, his
goal in this
life was
simply the
dignity
that comes
from earning
one's own way,
a dignity that
he was denied
to
the end.
Beyond the
tragedy of the
life and death
of my friend
Ray lies the
depravity of
the seven
headed demon
of bureaucracy
that
devours such
little people
by forcing
them to
surrender what
little
dignity they
have merely so
they can
survive.
For Ray even
survival was
ultimately
denied.
When I first
heard the news
of my friend's
death
and the
circumstances
involved my
immediate
response was
to call for
the
persecution of
whomever was
at
fault. I
soon came to
realize,
however, that
it is not that
easy, for it
is each and
every one of
us
that is at
fault.
It is you and
I that have
allowed this
system
of ours to
grow into a
monster that
can kill and
not even
produce a
pang of
conscience.
It is you and
I that stand
by in the face
of
such a tragedy
as this and
merely shrug
and say among
ourselves,
"Well,
he's better
off."
Perhaps Ray is
better
off. It
is the rest
of us that
have
lost.
And perhaps as
I stand alone
at the simple
grave of a
simple man it
is not only
for a fallen
friend that I
weep,
but for what
the rest of us
have become.
The
Death
of a Friend
Revisited:
A Postscript
to "With
Liberty and
Justice for
All"
My friend Ray,
dead now for
nearly a year,
was
perhaps the
one person I
have ever
known that was
a true
Christian in
the New
Testament
sense of the
term. He
was no great
churchman,
no great
scholar, and
all things
considered no
great expert
on much of
anything that
most men
consider
important.
Ray owned one
good
suit at the
time he died,
and that was
the one that
his family
(somewhat self
consciously)
bought for his
funeral the
day after his
death.
He had many of
the bad habits
that seem to
plague most of
us in that he
smoked too
many
cigarettes,
swore like
sailor and ate
the
wrong things
-- the latter
not by choice
but by
necessity.
The one thing
that Ray could
do better than
anyone else
that I have
ever known is
love. He
was totally
unselfish with
the few
possessions
that he owned,
and would have
had
more than the
scant room
full of junk
that his
relatives
fought for
after his
death if it
hadn't been
for the fact
that he would
give
anything of
any value to
anyone whose
need he judged
to be worse
than
his own.
Here was a man
that truly
would have
laid down his
life
for a friend
if the need
had ever
arisen, and
not though
twice about
doing
so. No
exaggeration.
I saw him hurt
so deeply as
to
wonder if he
would ever
recover by the
woman he
loved, as she
would
skip into his
life long
enough to take
him for
whatever money
and
material goods
she could get
out of him,
then leave
with another
man. Yet
each time she
came crawling
back he would
forgive her
without
questions and
try to mend
her hurts the
best that he
could.
I remember
going with him
to visit the
aged
mother that he
kept in a
dumpy nursing
home and
trying to
comfort him
as he cried on
the way home
-- not because
he had a
wealthy sister
and
brother a
scant few
hours drive
away that
refused any
remuneration
to
him for the
bills that he
always managed
somehow to
take care of,
but
because he
grieved so
deeply the
fact that he
didn't have
the means to
see that she
was taken care
of
properly.
He had met the
struggle
to take care
of her all of
his adult
life, and when
she reached
her
twilight
years, her
mind losing
the battle
rapidly to the
ravages of
senility, Ray
hurt because
he could no
longer keep
her in his own
home
and provide
her with even
the most
meager of
material
comforts as he
had been able
to do when he
was young and
his heart was
strong enough
so that he
could make his
living doing
whatever
back-breaking
work that
a man with no
education or
training could
get.
At the time I
knew Ray, I
was working a
kind of
interim
pastorate at
the church he
attended.
The minister
of this
church, a
close friend
and very
decent man,
had helped Ray
through some
hard times and
when he left
for another
position in a
church in
upstate
New York, I
took it upon
myself to to
keep an eye on
Ray and see
that
he got along
all
right.
Naive as I
was, I assumed
that a church
was basically
for the
purpose of
ministering to
those in
need.
The
congregation,
however,
proved that I
had been
mistaken in
this
assumption.
Misfortune hit
my friend hard
when his
unemployment
benefits ran
out and he was
forced to
vacate the
seedy sleeping
room
that he had
been
renting.
Swallowing
what little
pride he had
left, he
turned to me
for help and I
took the
matter to the
session of
the
church.
I suggested
that they
employ Ray as
a part-time
limited
custodian.
He had been
hanging around
the church
doing
odd jobs such
as vacuuming
and washing
windows (he
did this
without
anyone's
knowledge
because he
felt guilty
over the fact
that he had no
money to
donate to the
church's
treasury) and
I merely
suggested that
he be paid for
doing these
things and in
that way it
would possible
to
salvage what
was left of
his
considerable
personal
pride.
The
answer was a
flat no.
There simply
was no money
in the budget
for
such an
extravagance,
what with the
new sealer
that was
needed for the
parking lot
and the new
riding
lawnmower
(which I was
assured was a
necessity) to
pay for.
I suggested
that these
funds could be
secured from
the so-called
"mission"
budget and
again the
answer was
negative.
It seems that
all of the
mission money
for "that kind
of thing" was
donated to the
Salvation Army
who, I was
told, were the
experts in
handling cases
of the less
fortunate
within the
community.
Besides, there
were such
important
issues at
stake as
insurance
should Ray be
inconsiderate
enough to hurt
himself while
working in
their precious
building, and
what if he
should happen
to
break
something, and
how would it
look to have
someone like
that
hanging around
the place all
of the
time.
And of course
the
clincher to
the whole
argument: how
could they be
certain that
Ray
wasn't some
bum or
derelict that
didn't want to
work and was
just
trying to get
a free
ride.
How
indeed.
The matter was
dropped with
no further
discussion,
and as I
recall the
meeting moved
on to consider
what some felt
to be the very
important
matter of
allocating
money for new
flags for the
sanctuary.
In the
meantime poor
Ray slept on
the floor of
my office at
night,
sneaking out
early each
morning so
that none of
the
church people
would catch
him, and never
once did I
hear him
complain.
I do recall,
however, that
he would on
occasion walk
around after
the Sunday
morning
service and
thank various
members of
the
congregation
for allowing
him to worship
with
them. It
struck
me as most
paradoxical at
the time, and
even more so
now, that the
one
person in that
church that
most
exemplified
the humanistic
principles
of the
Christian
faith as set
forth by Jesus
in the Gospels
was denied
by many even
the courtesy
of a polite
greeting on
Sunday
mornings.
Ray would have
gladly
sacrificed his
very life for
anyone of
those people
and with a few
noble
exceptions not
withstanding,
the general
opinion that
they held of
him was that
he was
a nuisance and
an eyesore and
that his main
goal in
hanging around
was
to free-load.
I
have never
been a poor
man, for i
have always
eaten at the
appointed
times and been
warm in the
winters and
have
always laid my
head on
feathers when
the cool of
the evening
called me
in from
outside.
And my
roommate tells
the fat lady
at the
supermarket
that we poor,
deprived
seminarians
live in
poverty and
she
agrees and
states her
plight as the
same,
and all the
time I
think of a
little man
that fought
all of his
life to keep a
roof over
his head and
food in his
belly and his
mother warm
and well
kept.
Will this
mocking never
cease?
My friend Ray
struggled his
whole
life with
basically two
goals in mind:
to stay alive
and to be good
to
people in
whatever way
he
could.
And what did
he get for his
troubles?
One good suit
to be buried
in and a
decent funeral
(which I had
to fight to
provide for
him), while
his wealthy
sister
stood at the
luncheon
afterwards and
bemoaned the
fact that now
she
would have to
bear the
burden of
taking care of
Mother (which,
by the
way, consisted
of sticking
the poor old
lady in
another
institution).
Ray attended
my church
because he had
a deep love
of people and
a strong and
persevering
faith in the
Christian
Gospel,
the gospel of
love. He
attended my
church because
he believed
this to be the
place where
all men were
equal and
where he could
find
dignity
without having
to pay for it,
and where he
could find
love and
a place to
give
love.
Never did he
speak an
unkind word
about
anyone there,
and, too,
there never
was an
occasion when
he did not
have a kind
word to say
about (or to)
someone.
And how did
these
gracious
"Christian"
people
respond?
They made poor
Ray the butt
of their jokes
and they told
their children
to stay away
from
him.
They worried
about having
him around too
much for fear
that
he might steal
some valuable
material
treasure from
their all holy
building, and
they worried
about leaving
money around
where he might
take it.
And when I
brought his
case before
them when he
was most
in need all
they could
think of was
their parking
lot, their
lawnmower
and their
insurance
policies.
I told them of
Ray's honesty
and
basic goodness
and assured
them their
beloved
dollars would
not be
going to
waste. I
offered to
personally
supervise
everything
that
Ray did and to
take total
responsibility
for him.
They chuckled
at my naivety
and lovingly
reprimanded me
for my
youthful zeal
and
idealism,
assuring me
that I would
gain more
sense in such
matters as I
grew
older.
The answer was
no.
When I told
Ray of their
decision he
looked at
the floor to
hide his hurt
from me and
said quietly,
"I can't blame
them.
It's not their
fault that I'm
a bum."
The following
week he worked
extra hard at
the vacuuming
and windows --
and polished
the pews as
well.
There is a
simple and
basic curse
that permits
the church
from being
Christian in
the New
testament
sense: the
curse
of the
dollar-god.
Ray could have
won the esteem
and admiration
of every
member of the
church and
they would
have loved him
as a
Christian
brother if
only he would
have had a few
bills to throw
into
the collection
plate each
week. If
only he could
have
pledged.
Ray had no
money; all
that he could
offer them was
love
and that just
simply was not
what they
wanted.
Even more
tragic
is the fact
that love was
the one thing
that they
could not
offer in
return.
Christianity
is a poor
man's religion
and the church
is
owned by the
rich and as
long as this
is so, the
basic attitude
of the
church will
not be
Christian.
Empathy for
the poor is
not enough;
it is in fact
a rather base
form of
mockery.
It is the
throwing
of crumbs into
the wind and
then sitting
pompously on
fat behinds
while
those that
have been
"helped"
scamper to
stay
alive.
And of
course they
must be
grateful of
there is no
point in
helping them
at
all. Ray
died not
because he was
refused the
scraps from
the rich
man's table,
but through a
lack of love
and concern,
and as he was
lowered into
the ground the
only comment
that people
from his
church
made was,
"Well, he's
better
off."
The man that
was chosen
pastor of the
church
and assumed
those duties
at my
departure sat
me down as I
was going
about the task
of preparing
my remarks for
Ray's funeral
and insisted
that I make no
mention of
afterlife for
Ray because he
had never been
"Baptized into
the family of
Christ."
Even in death,
Ray was to
be deprived by
this foolish
and ungodly
thing that
calls itself
by the
name of Christ
-- the man
that Ray had
followed so
quietly and
faithfully for
all those many
years of
struggle.
Such cruelty
and
madness I have
yet to fully
comprehend and
most likely
never will.
I have a
vision that
comes to mind
when ever I
think of my
old friend
Ray. I
see God
sitting upon
the Throne of
Judgment on
the Final Day
and I see all
of those that
sat in
judgment
upon Ray in
this life and
refused him
their love and
concern about
to
be cast into
the
ever-burning
torment for
their
transgressions.
And at the
last instant I
see Ray step
forward and
intercede with
the
Almighty,
offering to go
to eternal
torment
himself if He
would but
spare his
friends.
Then I think,
and perhaps
only then,
will they
understand.
|
|
|
|
|
The
Strange
Malady
By Philip D.
Ropp
November,
1977
|
|
There
is a legend
that on the
Final Day of
Judgment, God
will assemble
those
that have
claimed to be
witnesses in
His name while
acting at
variance
with His Word
and judge them
apart from all
the
rest.
"Oh, dear
Father," they
will plead,
"Be
gracious unto
us. Lo,
these many
years we have
built our
churches in
your name and
worked so
very hard to
see that all
would pay
their
tithes.
We ask only
that you
treat us as we
would treat
you given that
our places
were
reversed."
The Lord
ponders their
request and at
last
tells them,
"Very well,
I shall do as
you have
asked. I
shall do
precisely to
you what
has
been done to
me when our
places were
reversed."
And with that,
he
throws open
the eternal
gates to
reveal
rough-hewn and
bloody crosses
stretching as
far as the eye
can see -- a
cross for each
and every one
of the false
witnesses.
|
The
term
"Malady" in
the title of
this piece is
somewhat
misleading to
the reader,
since we are
dealing here
with that
wonderful
institution
that is called
"organized
Christianity"
(among other
things), and
said
institution is
not merely ill
but rather
deceased.
Oh, it still
has some sort
of earthly
presence (the
only presence
it has) in
that it owns
much in the
way of real
estate
and cultic
paraphernalia
(candle
holders, choir
robes, office
machines,
etc.) but the
truth of the
matter is that
what we are
observing here
is
a corpse that
should have
been buried
eons ago so
that the smell
of its
rotting flesh
would have
been banished
from the face
of the
earth.
Christianity,
as we see it
in the New
Testament (and
nothing else
is
Christianity,
whether it
chooses that
name for
itself
or not) most
likely ceased
to exist at
that somewhat
nebulous point
in
history when
it began to
call itself
the "state
religion" of
the
decaying Roman
Empire.
What
apparently
happened here,
in reality,
was that Rome
became the
state of the
church.
This is not to
say that the
earlier days
of
the church
were
characterized
by the
internal
functioning of
God's
kingdom within
the world, but
rather with
the advent of
"Roman"
Christianity
that potential
was
lost. It
is most likely
that the
religion of
the New
Testament
actually died
much earlier
than this
given the
evidence that
is available
to us, but at
least during
the
years of
martyrdom and
persecution an
attempt was
being made to
follow
the way of the
Master.
In all
probability it
is when the
church
submits to the
governmental
structure of
the world
(which it
supposedly
denounces)
that it loses
sight of the
true kingdom,
and by the
closing
of the New
Testament era
the struggle
for the
recognition of
power
through the
false politic
has
begun.
And yet when
it is realized
that to hold
such earthly
power often
meant to die
the hideous
death of
a martyr, it
can be clearly
seen that this
is still much
more attuned
to the theme
of the Gospel
of Christ than
those of later
days who,
through the
false power of
ecclesiastical
office, would
become the
slayer instead
of the slain.
The strange
malady, then,
is not
Christianity.
The faith that
is based upon
the Gospel of
Jesus is
not
susceptible to
the
foolishness of
worldly
evil.
The true
Church, that
which seeks
earnestly to
follow the
correct path
of the
Christian
faith as
presented in
the New
Testament,
exists not in
buildings or
judicatories
and does not
adorn itself
with the
trappings
of the
material world
to stand
before the
masses and
proclaim
itself
mighty and
righteous.
the true
Church does
not pay its
highly
trained
"witnesses to
the truth" to
stand before
the gathering
of the
flock and
proclaim the
emptiness of
the God of
Nothing who,
they claim,
wants no more
from them but
that they
should
"affirm" each
other in
their ungodly
behavior.
The true
Church does
not run a
string of
indoctrination
centers which
encourage and
train the
fledging false
witness in the
fine art of
inventing the
truth to go
with earthly
circumstances
-- and this so
he can draw
his
"professional"
salary
without the
guilt of
knowing that
he has become
part and
parcel to the
perpetration
of the
blasphemy of
the Great Lie
that calls
itself the
"Church of
God" or some
such
thing.
The true
Church exists
as it always
has,
unseen but
ever present
as it weeps
for those that
have denied
the
truth and
power of the
very tradition
that they
claim to
represent.
It exists
through
history -- not
because of it,
and
claims no
great role for
itself save
that of
attempting the
near
impossible
task of
following the
Way, in itself
a commitment
that
leaves little
time for
afternoon teas
at the
vicarage and
such other
nonsense.
The true
Church is not
readily
visible (and
especially
not to those
most deeply
involved in
the silliness
of
"Christendom")
but exists as
the kingdom of
God awaiting
only the souls
necessary to
populate
it. And
still it
waits,
watching sadly
the malady
that
not only
possesses the
organized
"Church" but
in no small
way is that
which calls
itself by the
name of
Christ, yet
stands against
all that
He stands for.
How, then,
does one that
is in earnest
concerning the
following of
the teachings
of Jesus go
about doing so
if
the
institutions
that bear his
name are
possessed of
this strange
malady?
Obviously, the
first step is
to stay out of
the country
clubs, fun
houses, and
show palaces
that call
themselves
churches.
What better
way to be led
away from the
truth than by
falling in
with those
that are
active members
of the
deception?
The church
that manifests
itself in
worldliness
has built
itself upon a
foundation of
sand, and as
can be clearly
seen
throughout its
history,
when this
foundation has
become exposed
new sand has
been hastily
piled
upon the old
to make it
again
temporarily
secure.
When the day
comes that the
false
foundation of
the organized
church gives
way, the
fall will be
horrendous,
and to be sure
no one will
find comfort
within
its confines
when it
tumbles into
so much
whitewashed
debris.
The next step
would be to go
back to the
New
Testament and
begin reading
it as
something more
than some
loose
guidelines
towards a
false
moralism.
This requires
a different
approach than
even the most
dedicated
"fundamentalist"
in that those
of
this bent seem
prone to
"literalize"
only those
sections of
the
Scripture that
support
convictions
made quite
outside the
realm of
Biblical
truth.
It is just as
foolish to
claim that the
Bible is
totally the
Word of God as
if from His
own mouth as
it is to claim
that
it is entirely
human in
origin.
In this
respect it can
be seen
that the
fundamentalist
and the
scholar
actually
represent
different
sides of the
same
coin.
Both claim
only partial
responsibility
to
the
Christianity
of the New
Testaments
through
selective use
of
Scripture, and
so righteously
stand and
defend their
respective
doctrines as
the truth.
For
one the
doctrine of
the
infallibility
of the
Scriptures
causes him
to lock his
God away in
the confines
of a cobweb
covered and
dusty old
book, while
for the other
his God is
reduced to
nothing more
than
prattle about
"Q" sources,
redaction
criticism,
historicity of
this or
that, etc., ad
infinitum.
The
one treats
Scripture as
if it were the
Absolute, the
other as a
curious relic
from a
forgotten age,
somehow
miraculously
preserved down
to the present
time so that
it may be
studied in the
same manner as
and
compared at
length to
other
documents from
the distant
past.
The result is
that both hold
human doctrine
as if it
were absolute,
the result of
which is that
the nasty name
by which the
latter most
frequently
refers to the
former applies
equally to
both:
"fundamentalist."
It is and
always has
been true that
the
Scriptures are
holy, yet
never have
they been
Absolute.
As with
all works of
men, whether
divinely
inspired or
not, these too
will pass
away, for as
the Scriptures
themselves
tell us, only
God is
Absolute.
Therefore,
what must be
be of utmost
importance is
to
follow the
teachings of
Jesus just as
closely as
possible and
to work
as intensely
as one can at
making the
values of the
Christ the
values
of his own
life.
Sadly, this
will not leave
time for such
follies
as the search
for Noah's Ark
or Biblical
criticism.
Christianity,
in its true
sense, is a
full time
occupation and
to bind it up
within
the
Scriptures,
the organized
church, or
academia, is
to fall into
the
very clutches
of the strange
malady.
|
|
|
|
|
About
Your God . . .
By Philip D.
Ropp
November,
1977
|
About
your
God . . .
When do we get
to meet him?
I know he
doesn't get
much
in the way of
exercise
since you took
away his sword
and gave him a
comb instead.
Mustn't have
him
appearing
before the
ladies' tea
(Theophany)
With his hair
all messed up
(Epiphany)
Perhaps --if
we study very
hard --
You might let
us go with you
when you go to
clean his cage
and bring him
his afternoon
tea.
Maybe you
could bring
him out
for my mates
and me
And wind him
up some
Sunday.
|
It
would seem
that the
result of
obsession with
the strange
malady would
be the
denial of any
kind of God at
all so that
the immersion
into the
temporal and
earthly might
be more
complete.
This is not
the case
at all since
having some
sort of God or
other kicking
around up in
the
attic of the
church (beside
the worn-out
altar cloths
and hymnals
that
are no longer
used) is a
very real
necessity.
How could they
ignore the
responsibility
of the faith
as it is
presented in
the
Scriptures
without the
"Grand Old
Man" upstairs
to inform them
through
the well-paid
"witnesses to
the truth"
that their
indiscretions
are of
"His will?"
The beloved
clergy are
given the
difficult
task of
running their
particular
branch of the
family
business, and
with this
responsibility
always first
and foremost
in their
minds, they
must be
very careful
of the way in
which they use
the "Word of
God" (which is
actually what
they call it
while all the
time keeping a
straight face)
lest they let
out some ill
chosen piece
of scripture
that might
offend
the gathering
of the
faithful.
After all, it
is the
faithful,
through
their
donations to
the kingdom of
God that pay
the
"professional
level"
salaries
(which I am
told they
readily
deserve
since they are
well educated)
and provide
the comforts
of the manse
to
these dear men
and their
beloved
families.
The clergyman,
realizing this
from the very
beginning of
his formal
training,
learns
very quickly
to forget what
little truth
he may have
been aware of
that
he might never
upset those
dear souls
that pay their
hard earned
money
to hear him
speak his
words of
comfort to
them. He
is not unlike
the sin eater
of medieval
times whose
task it was to
consume a huge
meal laid upon
a corpse that
he might take
the person's
sins into
himself and
free that
particular
soul for
heaven.
In the same
way
the clergyman,
by leading the
flock of his
congregation
onward in
deception,
takes the
responsibility
for their
being led
astray upon
himself.
He is well
trained to do
this at the
seminary of
his
choice where
he receives
his training
regarding the
corporation of
the
church and
learns how to
tell its lies
to those that
pay their
money to
listen.
He is well
trained so as
not to rock
the boat
whether it
be the local
church or the
higher
judicatories
of the
corporation,
and
is led to
believe that
he actually
has been given
the freedom to
interpret the
Holy Writ to
the sheep that
sit before
him, though of
course this
must be done
in accordance
with the
"acceptable
standards"
so as not to
disturb either
the faithful
or the
corporation.
In
this way it
can be seen
that his
seminary
education
becomes that
period
of his
"career" in
which he is
spoon fed on
the sins of
the sin-eaters
that have gone
before him so
that he may
learn the
proper way of
presenting the
corporate
advertising to
the
congregation.
It is
not pleasant
to ponder what
ultimately
becomes of all
these
sin-eaters,
though if
ignorance is
an allowable
excuse then at
least some of
them
may find
slight
hope. As
I sat in the
student's
lounge of the
seminary (the
students must
be made
comfortable) I
overheard a
professor
speaking to
two of his
students,
telling them
that though of
course it was
ridiculous for
an intelligent
20th century
person to take
literally such
concepts as
resurrection
and
incarnation
one must,
however,
continue to
use this
"symbol
structure"
within the
church,
since the
people have
come to expect
it and become
uncomfortable
when
such things
are denied
from the
pulpit.
Later, in the
elevator,
when I asked
this grinning
"witness" by
way of
greeting how
he was, he
informed me
that he was,
"Still
fighting the
good
fight."
One can only
hope that such
a one as this
is the way he
is out of
ignorance and
not by
conviction.
What is
evidenced by
this kind of
behavior and
language is
the fact that
there is no
room within
the confines
of
academia or
the organized
church for any
kind of god
other than the
retired
shopkeeper
that has
entrusted the
management of
the family
business to
his board of
directors
while he
vacations at
his villa in
the
Bahamas.
What this God
wants is for
the business
of the
church to run
smoothly in
his absence so
that he can
enjoy himself
and
not have to
worry about
how things are
being
managed.
The way
that those in
charge of the
business
perceive the
matter is that
this
old God,
having grown
very tired
after all
those escapes
with ancient
Israel in the
Old Testament,
sent his son
along so that
the faith
would
be provided
with a new
young and
dynamic
corporate
image.
The son, in
the early
days, had some
pretty wild
ideas but it
was an
easy matter to
listen to him
politely then
restrict him
to the role of
smiling
buffoon,
beckoning one
and all to
"buy our
Sunday
School," or
"buy our
potluck
dinners."
The board of
directors were
delighted! "It
must
truly be the
Holy Spirit at
work!" they
exclaimed as
they counted
the
dollars which
piled up
higher and
higher each
week.
Sometimes,
perhaps in the
evening by the
fire, the
executive may
open the New
Testament and,
even after
checking to
see if he is
reading "Q" or
an
independent
source, he may
marvel at the
teachings of
the Son.
"Some
interesting
ideas here,"
he may think
as he draws on
his pipe,
"Too bad these
things are bad
for
business."
He may even go
so
far as to
wonder if
perhaps some
of these
things should
be presented
to
the
congregation
even given the
fact that some
of the gentler
souls
would find it
upsetting.
He could
relate some of
these things
(those that
proved no
threat to the
corporation of
course) to the
plight of the
poor General
Motors
executives
that sit
before him
every
week to make
sure they get
the proper
credit on
their
taxes.
He finally
decides
against such a
wild
plan.
"I'll tell
them that we
are all little
flowers in
God's great
garden
and that
Christ is the
gardener that
comes around
and sprinkles
us all
with the
living
water."
He decides and
so retires,
warm at heart
over
both his
cleverness and
his service to
his God.
While it is
obvious that a
God such as
this is
extremely
convenient
when it comes
to
matters of
avoiding the
responsibilities
of the New
Testament
faith, it is
equally
obvious that
he creates
problems in
terms of
deciding what
kind of image
the
corporate
church will
present to its
stock holders
and the public
at
large.
For this
reason it has
become
necessary to
invest heavily
in the study
of the faith
in terms of
theology,
history,
ethics,
etc..
Through the
study of
theology the
leaders of the
corporate
church are
able to
demonstrate
that the
aberrations
that they
practice
(in the name
of
Christianity)
are in reality
the "will of
God", and in
view of this
they proceed
to instruct
the would be
"proclaimers
of the
Word" in the
same farcical
studies.
And here we
see only one
approach that
is employed
when the
stance of
organized
Christianity
stands against
that of New
Testament
Christianity.
The approach
that is the
most ludicrous
is also that
which can be
one of the
most
effective in
assuring that
the truth of
Scriptures is
eternally
overlooked in
favor of the
more
capitalistic
functioning of
the
church.
More important
than the words
of Jesus or
the
responsibilities
of the church
that bears his
name as it is
seen in
Acts and the
letters of
Paul is the
practice of
Biblical
criticism:
"Look here,"
says the
scholar, "This
is the famous
'Q'
source!
And over here
we have an
obvious later
redaction to
the
text!"
What good
sport!
Now we know
all about what
the
Bible means
scientifically!
Later on we
will study it
as myth and
story in our
theology class
and then we
will know all
about
that!
After
that we will
study it in
our ethics
class and
learn how to
make God run
around in
circles and
fetch the
stick while we
pat ourselves
on the
back for not
persecuting
Negroes and
for
"affirming"
homosexuals by
allowing them
to 'witness to
the truth'
just like we
normal
'Christians'
do! How
wonderful are
we for
spending all
of our
precious time
involved in
learning these
invaluable
skills!
We
must
learn all
about
Canaanites and
Moabites and
Jebusites and
Hittites and
Amorites and
of this tribe
here and that
one there, for
such is the
information
that we will
need as we go
about our
'call' to
proclaim the
kingdom of
God.
Yes,
it is no doubt
that the
liberal
protestant
seminaries
turn out the
most
proficient
Sunday School
teachers in
all of
Christendom!"
How to reach
these poor
souls that
have deluded
themselves
into believing
that knowledge
is an entity
that is a
by-product of
education?
How to tell
them that the
gods that they
worship are of
the temporal
and earthly
realm, while
they One they
have
claimed to
serve all
these many
years has
stood all the
time just one
step out of
their grasp,
unable to be
bought and
able to
respond only
to their
love.
And so they
heap their
riches ever
higher,
building the
walls around
them ever
stronger, ever
higher, till
they
blot out what
little light
is still able
to pick its
way through
the
gaps in the
stones.
And yet their
cross-topped
ziggurats
stretch
ever higher
into the sky,
and the stack
of bills on
their money
changer's
tables grows
ever deeper,
and as they
stand and
proclaim
their
hollowed-out
truths (and
many outright
lies) they are
always very
careful never
to turn around
and so
continually
have been
fortunate to
avoid staring
down into the
jaws of the
yawning abyss
that snaps
ever
closer at
their heels.
|
|
|
|
|
This
God of Theirs
By Philip D.
Ropp
November,
1977
|
|
In
those
days (so long
remembered)
Days
of
old (now long
forgotten)
When
glory
brimmed the
cups of
men,
And
evening
came in
scarlet
splendor
As
the
sun slipped
'neath
the
trees.
Round
the
fire in the
night-time
With
the
dogs asleep
and
fed
Tales
of
old rang
through
the
treetops
And
the
children (wide
eyed)
Heard
the
stories of
their
God
And
of
the men He
called
His own.
|
Years
ago,
before the all
important
studies of
science and
theology taught
us
to believe that
there was
nothing in
existence that
wasn't right
before
our very noses,
man believed in
God. And
he believed that
this
God was the
all-powerful
ruler of the
universe and the
entire cosmos;
by His very
nature and power
an entity
that was to be
loved,
respected and
feared for the
grasp that He
had upon the
frail and
arrogant little
creatures that
he had
created.
And man sought
to pay homage to
this great and
almighty being
by offering Him
dead and burned
animals,
and he called
upon the name of
this God to
fight his
battles for him
and to bless him
with children
and to make his
fields fertile
so that
he might always
have enough food
to eat and a
warm place to
lie his
head when the
cold and mystery
of the night
would draw upon
him.
And this God
would help His
people by
talking to them
from burning
bushes and by
parting great
bodies of water
that they might
cross them
and escape their
enemies.
And He would
wreak great
vengeance upon
the enemies of
His
people. He
would kill them
by the thousands
and He would
give them over
as slaves to the
people that
called Him
their own, and
they would stand
upon the
hill-tops and
stick out their
tongues and call
to their
enemies,
"Our God is
greater than
your
god", and they
would go back to
their altars and
offer up more
dead
animals.
And then there
were wise men
that arose and
walked
among the people
because this God
of theirs
instructed them
to do
so. And
these men cried
aloud to the
people, "Our God
is the God
of all men, and
He is a God that
is just.
The evil must be
punished while
the good shall
be
exalted.
And His wrath
against
those whose love
of Him is false
shall be the
horrors of all
eternity,
and they shall
writhe and
scream and never
find even the
peace of the
grave. Do
not mistreat
your neighbor
and keep His
commandments
always, for this
God of ours is
the King of the
Heavens both now
and
forever."
But the people
did not heed the
words of the
wise men
and their
tribulation grew
and they were
battered around
and beaten by
evil men and
they called upon
their God to
save them and He
answered
them no more.
The one day
there arose a
group of men
that fancied
themselves to be
great holy men
and they said to
all that would
listen,
"If we want this
God of ours to
return to us and
save us from
these
awful times then
we must follow
to the last
degree all of
the laws that
He has written
for us."
And so these men
picked out all
of the
silly little
laws that they
could make up
out of the Holy
Writings of
the Ancient of
Days and they
followed them so
closely that
they had no
occasion to take
their noses out
of their books
and look at the
world
around
them. And
things grew
worse and not
better for all
but the
holy men, who
grew rich by
telling others
what to do and
who grew very
evil in their
abuse of the God
that they
claimed to
represent.
And so it came
to pass that in
those days there
were no holy men
of God
to be found
within the
land.
There were those
who held the
name
of God aloft as
a banner and
battled under
His name and
there were, of
course, the
false holy men
that grew fat
while those that
they led died
all around them,
but there were
no holy
men. And
many knew this
to be the time
when the Holy
One of God
Himself would
come and lead
them in
righteousness
and valor, and,
oh, what a great
and glorious
king he would
be.
And the God of
all eternity
took note of
what was
happening in His
world below, and
He saw His
people and of
how far away
from Him they
had strayed, and
His heart was
moved to great
pity, for
since the
beginning of
their time they
had failed to
see that they
held
their own
salvation right
within
themselves.
He had blessed
them
with the ability
to love and He
asked them from
the beginning
merely to
love each other
and to love and
follow Him, and
if they would do
this
He would promise
them justice and
a new place in
the paradise
that they
had forfeited in
the very
beginning.
Yet further and
further had
they strayed
from Him until
the world had
become so evil
that there was
no hope for them
to ever find
their way back
to Him. "I
must
prove to them
once and for all
how great my
love for them
is," He
said.
And one night,
tucked away
securely within
the gentle
arms of lore and
legend,
something
wonderful
happened.
The skies
were alight with
the brilliance
of eternity and
there was
singing that
night as there
never had been
before or ever
would be
again.
Wonder of
wonders,
miracle of
miracles, God
himself lie
asleep in
a cattle
stall. The
Ancient of Days,
the Almighty
from
everlasting to
everlasting
cried quietly in
His mother's
arms, a mere
few pounds of
soft pink flesh,
on that night of
all nights, the
night
that holds a
special kind of
magic for all
down to this
very day.
No more would it
be necessary to
ponder the love
of this God for
His
people, for when
justice called
for them to be
destroyed, He
instead
stepped down
from His throne
to lie in a
manger so that
He might save
them from
themselves and
the Evil One
they followed.
And so it came
to pass that
this God of
theirs grew
to be a man and
walked among
them as a
brother, and He
beckoned them to
follow His Truth
that they might
be saved from
the ravages of
the Evil
One that tempted
them with his
nasty games and
wicked
traps. And
He worked His
miracles right
before their
wondering eyes,
causing many
to exclaim,
"Truly this is
the Holy One of
God
Himself!"
Yet the holy men
refused to
believe
because it
would have cost
them their
riches and their
fancy robes and
the praises of
men.
So they mocked
this very
God of
theirs, even as
He walked among
them and tried
to teach them of
His Truth, and
they made plans
to kill
Him and enlisted
the services of
the evil men
that kept them
in their
riches so that
they in turn
would keep the
people that the
evil men
mistreated under
control.
And they took
this God of
theirs and
they hung Him on
a cross, and
they tortured
Him and drove
nails through
His hands and
feet and mocked
Him and cursed
Him and gambled
for His
clothing.
And such was the
love of this God
of theirs that
He
begged that they
be forgiven, for
by their evil
natures they
knew no
better.
And this God of
theirs died upon
that cross, and
He was
taken away by
the few of His
followers that
remained, and
the evil men
sealed Him into
the ground that
he might trouble
them no more.
This blackest of
days
passed.
And then
another.
And on the third
day the evil men
were much
disturbed by
the reports that
they had heard,
for the
followers of
this God of
theirs were
claiming that He
lived, that He
had kicked the
stone away
from the door of
His tomb and
that He lived -
just as He
always had and
always
would. And
His followers
spread the word
to all that
would
listen to their
story, and they
told of the
miracle of the
God that had
loved them so
much as to even
die for them,
and in His honor
and to His
glory they
dedicated their
new family of
followers,
calling
themselves
"the
Church."
And they were
put to death by
the evil men for
their belief in
this God of
theirs, and yet
their deaths did
not
destroy them but
made them
stronger, for
they knew that
their God held
dominion even
over death and
that their
deaths were
victories in His
name.
But one day the
evil men ceased
to persecute the
Church, and the
Church itself
became the head
of the
government that
the evil men
built, and the
Church itself
turned its back
on this God
of theirs and
became as the
false holy men
of old, with
their silly
laws and
accepting of
riches and great
praise from
men. And
the
Church became
"Christendom",
and the world of
Christendom grew
very
dark and very
evil, and though
there were
occasional
"reformations"
here and there,
time and again,
the path of
Christendom
continued to
lead those that
followed it away
from the truth
that had been
proclaimed by
that God of
theirs.
There arose men
that called
themselves
"theologians"
and "scholars"
and they made
this God the
subject of many
great theories
and they drew
many grand
conclusions and
argued
continually over
contrived points
that had no
bearing on
anything, and
this they
continue down to
this very
hour.
And new
false holy men
then turned
Christendom into
a great and
glorious
enterprise and
went to work for
this business
that they
dedicated to
the name of this
God of theirs,
and they worry
no more about
this God,
for the
theologians and
scholars have
convinced them
that He actually
died a few years
ago, and that He
no longer is the
problem that He
once
was to them and
that they may
keep their
riches and
gather the
praises
of men as they
always have, for
there is no
sense in being
paranoid of
an empty
heaven.
And the
churchmen, the
agents of
Christendom,
have contrived
new and silly
laws from the
ancient writings
as did the
holy men of old,
and again the
world has grown
very evil and
there are
no holy men of
God to be found
within the land,
and the false
holy men
are growing
fatter while
those they claim
they want to
save die all
around
them.
And still there
are a few that
remain that
look at
the signs of the
times and they
say among
themselves,
"Shortly it
will be the time
again when the
Holy One of God
Himself will
come and
lead us in
righteousness
and
valor."
And the false
holy men of
today laugh and
scoff and make
fun of this kind
of talk, and
they call
the believers
"fundies" and
they avoid them
as if they
carried the
plague instead
of the Truth of
this God of
theirs.
And those that
read the signs
of the times
tremble at what
they see
happening all
around them, and
they quake at
the prospect of
what is to come,
for
this God of
theirs has come
once to prove to
all the
great and
everlasting love
that He holds
for those that
would but follow
Him, and
when He left to
resume His place
in eternity He
promised them
that He
would one day
return to
them.
And it has been
written from
long
ages past that
when this God of
theirs returns
it will not
merely be to
prove His love,
bu to establish
the reign of His
justice upon the
earth. And
to be sure,
these times will
be anything but
pleasant
for those that
have led the
multitudes
astray and have
spat in the face
of this God of
theirs.
|
|
|
|
Gentlemen,
All is Not
Well
By Philip D.
Ropp
November,
1977
|
"So
when
you see the
desolating
sacrilege
spoken of by
the prophet
Daniel,
standing in
the holy place
(let the
reader
understand),
then let those
who are in
Judea flee to
the mountains:
let him who is
on the
housetop
not go down
take what is
in his house;
and let him
who is in the
field
not turn back
to take his
mantle.
And alas for
those who give
suck in
those
days!
Pray that your
flight may not
be in winter
or on a
sabbath.
For then there
will be great
tribulation,
such as has
not
been from the
beginning of
the world
until now, no,
and never will
be.
And if those
days had not
been
shortened, no
human being
would be saved
..."
Matthew
24:15-22b
|
It
is most
definitely
within the
realm of great
understatement
to claim that
these
are indeed
strange times
in which we
find ourselves
living.
My
grandparents
lived in a
time when the
telephone was
a rare oddity,
and
could easily
remember the
advent of such
things as
automobiles,
the
radio,
electricity,
airplanes,
various modes
of "modern"
warfare, and
much, much
more.
One summer's
night in July
of 1969, my
grandmother
told us the
story of the
time she saw
her first
automobile;
of how
awestricken
and mystified
she and her
friends had
been as the
rattly-little
contraption
came chugging
and wobbling
down the road
on
its wooden
carriage
wheels,
bearing the
local doctor
enroute to a
house-call at
a nearby
farm.
The next
afternoon, we
all sat
together and
watched Neil
Armstrong and
Buzz Aldrin
cavort around
on
the surface of
the
moon. I
have often
wondered at
the thoughts
that must have
been passing
through that
old lady's
head as she
sat
there
encompassing
the history of
aviation from
Kitty Hawk to
the moon
- a witness in
her own
lifetime to
all of
it.
Not too many
years ago,
there was
great
commotion
about the
so-called
"generation
gap" that
existed
between my
generation
and that of my
parents.
The main
instigation in
this turmoil
was,
of course, the
varying
interpretations
that existed
concerning the
Viet
Nam war and
the moral role
of the United
States within
it. To
the
older "World
War II"
generation the
matter seemed
to be centered
around
the lack of
patriotic zeal
and sense of
duty to
country that
characterized
the younger
generation.
To the younger
generation
the matter was
not so much
the highly
touted
political
idealism that
was presented
as it was the
simple and
horrifying
feeling that
our
parents would
rather see us
dead than
admit that
their precious
government had
made a
mistake.
Fault is not
to be attached
to
either side in
this matter.
The issue of
the war was
not the
pacifistic
youth versus
the
warmongering
older
generation,
but rather
that each of
these
generations
had grown up
in totally
different
worlds.
For the
younger
generation the
difference was
growing up in
a world
that had
gained
possession of
perhaps the
two most
frightening
and
powerful
devices ever
conceived by
the human mid:
television,
the
ultimate
propaganda
machine, and
the atomic
bomb, the
ultimate tool
of
destruction.
The older
generation had
grown up in a
world where
warfare still
consisted of
killing one
man at a time,
where battles
were won by
bravery and
valor and
where in the
last reel,
with the job
well done and
the powerful
enemy checked,
the uniformed
hero would lay
down his gun
and embrace
the sweetheart
that waited
for him on the
dock, while
everyone
danced and
threw confetti
in Times
Square.
World War II
was the last
great
adventure of
Western man,
for at its
end the
reality of the
new and
awesome Super
Weapon would
change the
world
forever.
Here was an
event that far
surpasses in
importance
such long
accepted
milestones as
the
Agricultural
and Industrial
Revolutions,
for at
Hiroshima and
Nagasaki it
became evident
that man
was now
capable of
wiping his own
kind from the
face of the
planet.
The monstrous
fire breathing
dragon of the
apocalypse
raised its
head above the
horizon and
made it plain
what a mere
puff of
his breath
could do, and
from that time
on, though we
have tried to
convince
ourselves that
it just isn't
true, the fact
has rested
within
the minds of
all of us that
it is just a
matter of time
now before the
earth becomes
nothing more
than a
mushroom cloud
floating
around in
space.
Even the great
ace-in-the-hole
escape plan
known as the
Space Program
is of little
interest to us
now, for it is
clearly an
example of too
little too
late.
It is this
world of push
button
total
destruction
that spawned
my generation,
for we grew up
knowing
that at any
possible
second the
earth might be
subjected to
the final
great
holocaust.
In the 1960's
many fought
hard to change
this
terrifying
state of
affairs.
Now most have
given up and
are
awaiting what
is to come in
as comfortable
a manner as
possible.
The long
haired
radicals of a
decade ago
(yes, it has
been that
long)
have cut their
hair and now
strut bedecked
in their very
stylish
three-piece
suits, driving
their
imitation wood
flanked
station wagons
to their
lovely homes
in the
suburbs, where
the little
woman waits
with
a cold
martini, the
evening paper,
and a full
report on the
kids'
latest journey
to the
dentist.
On Sundays,
due to the
force of
habit and
generous tax
breaks, they
adorn
themselves in
all their
finery and
drive to their
favorite
"house of
worship" where
they draw
together with
their peers
and pray to
the od that
they follow
that he
might keep
them
psychologically
well-balanced
and protect
their
financial
interests.
The man they
go to hear is
well trained
in
telling them
just exactly
what they want
to be told
because he has
gone
to seminary
and he has
been taught by
the
instructors of
the church
that the two
things in life
that really
matter are
money and
feeling
good, and that
business must
always come
before
religion if
one wishes
to be
"successful".
Yes, the
generation gap
has been
closed.
The "World War
II" generation
and the "Viet
Nam"
generation
have been
reconciled by
the one force
that is common
to
both:
greed.
The great and
all-American
god known as
the dollar
now rules
supreme.
The number of
these idols
that a person
is
able to
accumulate is
taken as a
measure of his
success as a
human
being.
"We deserve
professional
level
salaries", say
the churchmen,
"Because
we are well
educated.
We have worked
hard to get
where we are
and
we demand to
be paid
accordingly."
This makes
perfect sense
to
the members of
their
congregations,
since this is
precisely how
things
are in the
"secular
world," and so
both are
content to sit
and count
their dollars
while the rest
of the world
cries out in
agony all
around
them.
"Too bad about
the suffering
in the world,"
they all say
among
themselves,
"But after we
have taken our
share there
just isn't
enough to do
much
good."
For old and
young alike
the dollar has
become the
great
opiate.
It keeps them
secure and
deadens their
senses to the
abominations
that continue
to plague this
old and very
sick world of
ours.
Each night
they sit in
front of the
shrine
that contains
the magic
glowing tube
and they
are shown (in
full
color) the
wars and told
of the rumors
of wars.
They see in
all of their
hideous glory
the four
horsemen of
the apocalypse
as they
prance and
spread their
fornication
from one end
of the globe
to the
other, and
they see
children
starving and
men dying, and
they see their
elected
"representatives"
bribing and
being bribed,
and the people
on
their city
streets
killing and
being killed,
and when it is
finished
they sit at
their dining
room tables
and gorge
themselves on
the rich
foods that
they have
bought with
their precious
dollars.
And when
they are
sated, they
move back to
their places
in front of
the hypnotic
screen and are
absorbed into
the
make-believe
world of
beautiful
women,
righteous
cops, and an
occasional
song and
dance.
Outside in the
street there
is a shot, a
scream, and
the sound of a
falling body,
followed
shortly by
screaming
sirens.
Does anyone
move to see
what has
happened or if
they can be of
help?
No. "Why
bother?" they
say, "We can
find out all
about it
tomorrow at
six, and
there will be
film at
eleven!"
To be sure,
all is not
well.
The
tribulations
that have
plagued the
world since
the beginning
of history are
with us
now and are
growing ever
more ominous
by the
day.
Famine and
pestilence
ravage vast
areas and
droughts
threaten great
regions with
the horrifying
prospect of
even more
hunger and
disease.
Add to
these time
honored
horrors the
modern world's
ability to
overpopulate
and pollute
and it is
obvious that
the current
situation is
indeed most
serious - and
this is not
even taking
into account
the ever
present
reality of the
nuclear
holocaust that
lies behind
the simple
push of an
innocent
looking
button.
Yes, the
threat and
potential of
widespread
disaster has
never been
greater than
it is at this
very
moment.
And yet the
most
terrifying
threat of all
is not that of
widespread
famine or
disease, or of
the collapse
of Western
society
pending the
depletion of
oil reserves,
or of the
daily threat
of
nuclear
eschaton, but
rather the
attitude that
prevails
within this
culture of
ours.
As in the old
fable, we have
become like
the
grasshopper
that sings and
dances in the
face of the
oncoming
winter,
while the ant
scampers
around and
prepares for
the hard times
ahead.
When the snows
and the great
cold come the
ant is snug
and
well fed
within his
earthen
sanctuary,
while the
grasshopper
starves
and freezes in
the
cold.
Even a casual
glance at the
condition of
the world
shows that
there are
indeed dire
times ahead,
and yet when
this fact is
mentioned the
reaction
is,
"Now, now,
don't go
playing the
prophet of
doom to
us.
We'll think of
something just
as we always
have."
In the
meanwhile it
is, "On with
the game and
damn the
consequences!"
It is one
thing to stand
robed and
bearded
complete with
placard in
hand and
shout,
"Repent, the
end is
near!"
It is quite
another to
simply gaze at
the horizon
and
observe the
storm that has
been gathering
force and
moving closer,
while the
clouds that it
bears grow
ever darker
and ever more
terrifying in
their
power.
And still the
grasshoppers
sing and
dance and
scurry around
as if there
were no
tomorrow, the
irony of
their
situation
being that
this is a
distinct
possibility.
"If
we're damned
we're
damned,"
they say
calmly and
with a
shrug.
"Eat, drink,
and be merry,"
they cry, yet
they refuse to
finish the
sentence, "for
tomorrow we
die."
So the
grasshoppers
gather on
Sundays for
what they
call "the
worship of
God" and they
listen as
another
grasshopper,
trained
especially for
the task,
stands before
them and
extols the
false virtues
that he has
been taught at
his
seminary.
He tells
them that all
will be well
as long as
their pledges
are maintained
and
he uses his
knowledge of
psychology to
convince them
that the role
of
the church in
their lives is
to make them
feel warm and
secure in a
world that is
on the verge
of coming down
around their
ears.
The
Scriptures are
used sparingly
so as not to
confuse anyone
as to the
purpose of the
church, and
the few that
still read the
words of Jesus
and take heart
in their
promise are
merely endured
as the ever
present
"fundies" that
though naive,
do at least
mean
well.
And as
all of this
foolishness
goes on they
ignore the
warnings of
the
prophets that
spoke of a
much earlier
time in which
the people of
God
turned their
backs on Him
and faced the
consequences.
And they
ignore the
symbolism of
the apocalypse
and shrug it
off as
applying
only to the
supposedly
long dead
Roman Empire,
ignoring the
fact that
they
themselves are
the children
of Rome and
will bear her
curse if
they continue
in her
ways.
Long ago they
were warned by
the
man that they
mockingly call
"Master" of
the
tribulations
that come as
a thief comes
in the night,
and as they
sit in their
seminaries and
chuckle and
say, "Well
now, I wonder
what he could
have meant,"
the
thief is
already at the
window, prying
at the sash
and picking at
the
lock, and they
stand not
ready to drive
him away, but
rather hold
out
their arms and
welcome him
into their
presence.
The blinding
flash of the
lightening and
the deafening
crash of the
thunder of the
tempest that
looms
tar-black on
the horizon
grow ever more
prominent as
they move
closer and
closer to
shattering the
false peace
that has
lulled the
grasshoppers
into believing
that all is
well and will
continue
always to be
so. They
turn against
the teachings
of the
man they
outwardly hold
to be the Son
of God
Himself, and
when they
read of the
consequences
for their
actions they
merely laugh
and say
"Oh, that has
nothing to do
with us, if
that was going
to happen it
would have
happened long
ago.
Why, we are
good
Christians.
Our pastor
makes more
money now than
every, and we
always pay our
pledge on
time."
And yet the
horrors
foretold from
ages passed
howl and
screech
outside their
door, waiting
only that the
time may be
fulfilled that
they may be
loosed to hurl
their
vengeance
against the
fools that
have
unwittingly
invited them
into their
parlor.
The
dark and cold
of the Great
Winter grow
ever nearer
and yet the
foolish
grasshoppers
continue to
pipe and dance
as if the
future held
nothing
but endless
days of
feasting and
good fortune.
And the
scholars,
enraged by
this kind of
flippancy,
stand
confident with
their well
researched
theories as to
why this or
that is not
the way that
it is written,
and they are
certain that
they
can "prove"
that these
events will
not transpire
because their
critical
histories and
their exegesis
tells them
that this is
so.
Yet even the
casual
onlooker need
only glance
around at his
world to
realize that
all of these
wonderful
theories will
do them no
good when
the
tribulation is
upon
them.
What will
these men of
learning do
in those
days?
Will they
stand amid the
catastrophic
climax to
the age and
speak of why
it is
impossible for
these things
to be
happening?
This prospect
is not as
unlikely as it
seems, for
already the
signs are upon
us and this is
precisely what
they are
doing.
|
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|
The
Abuse
Of
Scripture
By Philip D.
Ropp
November,
1977
|
|
Do
not imagine
that I have
come to
abolish the
Law or the
Prophets.
I have come
not to abolish
but
to complete
them. I
tell you
solemnly, till
heaven and
earth
disappear, not
one dot, not
one little
stroke, shall
disappear from
the
Law until its
purpose is
achieved.
Therefore, the
man who
infringes even
one of the
least of these
commandments
and teaches
others to do
the same will
be considered
the least in
the kingdom of
heaven.
Matthew 5:
17-19
|
The
Bible,
that curious old
relic
that is employed
by the church
executive as a
means of "sermon
illustration"
and is made the
subject of great
study by those
of great
learning, is by
and away the
most mistreated
of all the
literature that
claims to be
Holy Writ.
No other
religion has
turned as
blatantly
against the
teachings of its
faith than has
the tradition
that calls
itself by the
name of
Christ.
The scholars,
supposed
"experts" in
the
understanding of
the Scriptures,
sit for hour
upon hour with
their
pens poised as
blunt scalpels,
carving up this
passage and
dissecting
that passage in
the vain attempt
to gain more
knowledge of
what is
written.
They cram their
heads so full of
esoteric bits of
gibberish that
the beauty and
truth of the
message of the
text that
they exhume is
completely lost
to them.
Does it matter
that
elements of the
creation story
can be traced
back into old
Mesopotamian
mythologies, or
that the story
of Noah and the
Ark appears
nearly
verbatim in the
Old Babylonian
account of the
Epic of
Gilgamish?
Is it not more
important to
look at what
these stories
have to say to
human life down
to this very
day? In
the first, the
newly born
human race spits
in the eye of
the Creator that
had set them up
in
paradise,
forcing Him to
cast them from
His sight, while
in the second
this evilness
has possessed
them to such
great extent
that the Lord
must destroy the
very fruit of
His creation,
for their
wickedness has
consumed them in
the passion for
the
forbidden.
Must one know of
J, E, P and D
sources or of
exegesis or of
hermeneutics to
understand
these
stories?
One would think
not.
If one would
seek to
understand the
nature of these
works, he need
only look at the
world
around him, for
day after day,
hour after hour,
minute after
minute,
these are the
themes - the
games - by which
the men of today
live their
lives.
Sodom and
Gomorrah were
never destroyed
for their spirit
lives on and if
anything has
multiplied
itself in the
hearts and minds
of men. It
is this
catastrophic
disease of the
human condition
that the Bible
speaks to.
It shows the
depths of
despair
and deprivation
that man,
through his lust
for the evil and
licentious,
will inevitably
sink to, and at
the same time it
provides his
final
hope in the
mysterious and
awesome figure
of the
Christ. In
the
Bible, we see a
mirror of
ourselves and
what we really
are - a picture
so
unpleasant that
those who go
about the task
of its
interpretation
do so by
exalting the
mundane and by
submerging its
important truths
in double talk
about worthless
half-baked
theories.
The world
screams out from
its death-bed
for the truth,
justice, and
hope that is
contained within
the pages of
this great
work, while the
wise men that
have been hired
to tell them
what it
means parade
about their
adornments and
speak only of
those things
that
will keep the
green idols that
they worships
flowing into
their
pockets.
They dare not
face the truth
of God in
written,
concrete
form, for the
days of picking
up the cross of
the Master and
following
the difficult
path of His
footsteps have
long since
passed.
The
church that
calls itself by
the name of
Christ has
nothing
whatsoever
in common with
the ragged
little group of
followers that
stood erect in
the face of
death with the
light of
eternity
gleaming in
their
eyes.
Today we have a
bizarre and
twisted Camelot
that basks in
the glories of
the mundane and
the earthly
while it takes
its own pearl
of greatest
price, the
promise of the
Scripture, and
tramples it
underfoot.
The sad, sad
imitation that
stands as
descendent of
the faith of the
Apostles follows
not the
teachings of
Jesus, but
rather
stands at the
foot of His
cross, mocking
and casting lots
for His
garments.
The truth that
is the way of
the Christ is
not easy to
follow.
How easy it has
been for such a
long, long time
now to
ignore what He
really is and to
make of Him what
they will.
What, then, is
the nature of
the Bible?
It is
the story of
man's existence
upon the earth;
of his history
long
struggle with
the powers of
darkness and of
his desperate
groping to
find his way
back into the
light. It
is a story that
begins with
man's coming to
awareness of who
he is and ends
with his final
destruction.
It is a story of
great evil and
greater goodness
that stretches
from the
beginning to the
ceasing of
time. It
is a
story that
begins in
paradise with
the greatest
struggle of all
time
played out upon
the rugged and
seemingly
Godless terrain
of the
wilderness, and
it is a story
that tells of
the God of love
who himself
steps down from
the very throne
of the Cosmos to
lead those that
are
still able to
understand His
truth onward in
the unceasing
quest to
recover the lost
paradise.
It is a story
that chronicles
the ongoing
struggle between
the forces of
good and evil
and speaks
both to that
which is and
that which is
beyond. It
is the story
of all stories,
for it is as old
as creation
itself yet
begins anew
with each rising
of the sun.
It is not
merely the story
of a
people, but of
all people and
of a God of all
people. It
tells of
the great
paradox of this
existence of
ours, wherein
the God of the
Cosmos is born
among cattle as
a few pounds of
wriggling pink
flesh and
dies at the
hands of His own
creatures simply
for trying to
proclaim
the truth
of their own
evil
natures.
And most of all,
it is the story
of a
time when the
truth of all
eternity walked
among us as a
brother, and
of how He was
tortured,
killed, and
sealed forever
into the earth,
only
to kick the
stone away from
the door of His
tomb and walk
triumphantly
out into the
crisp morning
air of that
first Easter,
wrapped not in a
tattered shroud
but in the
brilliant light
of all
eternity.
And
as the disciples
of Jesus
whispered in awe
to themselves on
that most
glorious of
mornings so do
those that still
discover the
magic of that
moment down to
this day, saying
simply, "It is
the Lord."
How has it come
to pass that
those who claim
to be
the spokesmen
for the faith
that bears the
name of Christ
are also
those that pay
no heed to His
words?
They have
constructed for
themselves a
facade and have
attached to it
the name
"Christianity;"
yet it is a poor
facade for their
roles show
clearly that the
disillusioned
membership is
leaving the
church.
"It is the
times," they say
by way of
excuse, "Now we
must entertain
them to keep
our pews full so
that the
collections will
pay for our
salaries and our
homes."
And so they hang
up posters with
cartoons on
them, and
they read
psychology books
that tell them
that the most
important thing
in life is
simply to feel
good all of the
time. They
talk of a
God that means
nothing to them
save that they
make their
living by
lying in His
name, and they
parade around as
men of great
prestige,
holding their
heads high and
praying aloud in
public.
They love
to wear the
long, black, and
expensive robes
of the
executive-priest
before the
gathered masses
and to bray
their blessings
upon the snoring
flock, and this
they do in full
confidence that
this is all
there is to
the matter of
being
Christian.
And though they
are alarmed by
the
exodus of the
people from the
churches, they
are relieved to
note that
the wealthy and
the foolish
still remain,
the wealthy
because they pay
the salaries and
expenses in the
name of the
great angel of
the God of
nothing known as
the "tax
write-off," and
the foolish
because these
poor souls are
unable to see
through the
abomination that
goes on all
around
them.
These great men
of learning
actually
have the gall to
stand up and
speak the words
of Jesus and
behave as if
they are the
experts on the
subjects of His
teachings, and
yet they
fail to see the
words that He
has leveled
directly at
them.
The
Pharisees are by
no means merely
an obscure sect
locked away
within the
annals of
ancient Judaism,
for they are in
evidence all
around
us. If
they have not
turned the
temple of the
church of Christ
into a robbers'
den, they have
at least turned
it into a
corporation,
and in either
case it is
profiteering in
the name of
Christ.
And
yet they can
still find it
within
themselves to
stand before
their
congregations
and read the
words of Jesus
as if they
themselves were
anything but
guilty of the
aberrations that
He
denounces.
It is
certainly no
stretch of the
imagination to
see that if
Jesus were to
appear some
Sunday within
one of these
dens of
foolishness that
He
would most
likely fashion a
whip of cords
and drive out
the
participants in
this farcical
charade.
And when this
were done it
would also be
most likely that
today's chief
priests and
scribes would
respond as did
those in the
temple of
Jerusalem - with
shock and
indignation.
And as with
those Pharisees
of long ago so
it is
with those of
the "Christian"
variety today:
They bind
heavy burdens
hard to bear,
and lay them
on men's
shoulders; but
they
themselves
will not move
them with
their
finger.
They do all
their deeds to
be seen by
men; for they
make their
phylacteries
broad and
their fringes
long, and they
love the place
of honor at
feasts
and the
best seats in
the
synagogues,
and
salutations in
the market
places, and
being called
rabbi by men.
Matthew
23:4-7
|
And
so too
does the warning
that
Jesus goes on to
present to his
followers and
disciples ring
true to
those that would
follow His
teachings down
to this very
day:
But
you are not to
be called
rabbi, for you
have one
teacher and
you
are all
brethren.
And
call no
man your
father on
earth, for you
have one
Father, who is
in
heaven.
Neither be
called master,
the
Christ.
He
who is
greatest among
you shall be
your servant;
whoever exalts
himself
will be
humbled, and
whoever
humbles
himself will
be exalted.
Matthew
23:8-12
|
And
so
today the
Pharisees of the
church adorn
themselves with
the broad
phylacteries and
long fringes of
their clerical
garb and so too
do they have
their committees
and make
their grandiose
decisions so
that they may
win great favor
in the eyes
of men.
And they sit in
the seats of
honor at the
potluck feast
of fools that
they hold so
that the sheep
that they
lovingly lead
away
from the light
may have even
more opportunity
to hear the
precious
wisdom that they
spout behind
their foolish
grins. And they
stand at
the place of the
greatest honor
within their own
personal
synagogues so
that all may sit
before them and
marvel at the
great
nothingness that
rolls off of
their tongues
with the
greatest of
eloquence.
Week
after week they
stand at the
back of their
sanctuaries
after the
gathered have
ceased their
snoring and puff
up as great
toads as the
hapless sheep
pass by and heap
their laud and
honor upon them;
yet this
they do while
loudly
proclaiming the
name of Christ
and claiming
themselves to be
the harbinger of
His
message.
The words of
Jesus
in His lament
over Jerusalem
echo ever louder
through the
great stone
chambers of the
idolatrous
temples that
stand in His
name:
O
Jerusalem,
Jerusalem,
killing the
prophets and
stoning those
who are
sent to
you! How
often would I
have gathered
your children
together as a
hen gathers
her
brood under
her
wings, and you
would
not!
Behold, your
house is
forsaken and
desolate.
For I tell
you, you will
not see me
again, until
you say,
'Blessed is he
who comes in
the name of
the Lord'.
|
What is to be
done? How
can this
situation be
righted when in
this world of
ours even those
that would have
all
believe that
they are the
true spokesmen
of the living
God instead fall
prostrate before
the dollar sign,
the symbol of
the great God of
nothing?
Is it possible
to convince a
soul of the true
wisdom
that is to be
found in living
in the world but
not being of it
when
being in it is
so deceptively
comfortable?
It is all
illusion,
for the material
wonders of this
life, as do the
fragile pieces
of
flesh and blood
that we occupy
for this short
time, are
destined to
return to the
dust from whence
they have
come.
Higher and
higher
men have piled
their ill-gotten
treasures, using
them to build
insurmountable
walls between
themselves and
the truth, so
that now they
make the truth
precisely what
they need it to
be so that they
may
clutch more
tightly the
foolish material
toys that they
have cheated,
lied, and stolen
for. The
prophetic cry
for justice has
grown to
an ear piercing
scream and still
the "men of God"
retreat even
farther
into their
suburban
paradise, well
fed and growing
fatter while the
children of God
the world over
lie night after
night on hunger
bloated
stomachs and
scream
themselves to
sleep. The
church that
stands
in the name of
Christ gives
these pillars of
dignity and
community
virtue new
automobiles and
lovely homes in
which to live
and pays them
"professional
level" salaries
for telling them
the lies that
allow them
to grow ever
more prosperous
while the faith
that they
profess, laid
out before them
in black and
white, is made
the subject of
mockery.
It speaks to
them of devils
and they laugh,
for they no
longer even
believe in its
God. It
speaks to them
of justice and
so they hold
rummage sales
and give money
to the Salvation
Army so that
they need not
foul their
lovely edifice
with the rabble
that are the
children of the
man that they
(in their
lighter moments)
call
"Master."
It speaks to
them of truth
and they choose
instead to
invent their own
because the
silver tea
service has
become tarnished
and buying a new
one is more
important that
putting rice and
milk into
the stomachs of
starving
children.
The Christ of
their forgotten
Scriptures
stares at them
from the eyes of
the trembling
wino that is
pushed aside as
he begs their
coins at the
bus-stop, and
from the empty
faces that crowd
behind the bars
of every prison
in the world,
and from
the eyes of
every soul that
hungers,
thirsts, or is
in pain.
They
half-heartedly
call upon His
name to save
them and they
sing his
praises in
either
psuedo-somber
monotones or
foolishly
contrived folk
music, and all
the time they
are lining up
and taking turns
at driving
the nails ever
deeper into His
battered
flesh.
They no longer
believe in any
kind of
judgment, for
the God of
nothing stands
at the
eternal door
with the flaming
sword of
judgment, but
with a tarnished
bag of gold,
beckoning them
not to enter but
to stay where
they are and
to eat, drink,
and be merry,
for he teaches
them that there
is nothing
ahead but
endless days of
false good
cheer. And
on the other
side
of the eternal
door, the door
of narrow
passage where
many may knock
but few enter,
the one Truth of
all eternity
stands issuing
the call to
truth and
justice that He
has proclaimed
for lo these
many ages, and
yet His simple
call falls upon
ears that have
been deafened by
the
blaring horns
and blasting
trumpets of the
earthly revelry
which has
deadened their
sense to any
feeling but
their own.
Yet it has
been written and
proclaimed from
ages
passed
that all must
one
day stand before
the throne of
their Creator
and make account
for their
misdeeds.
The blissful
escape of sleep
within the grave
that the
God of nothing
has convinced
them of is not
to be, for it
too is an
illusion as
surely as the
earthly powers
are with which
he have tempted
and perverted
them. And
on that Last
Great Day of
Days, when the
humble are
exalted, the few
that have made
themselves as
children will
stand proudly
along side of
their God of
Truth and mourn
with Him over
the loss of the
great
multitudes.
And those that
have skipped so
carelessly after
the much beloved
God of nothing,
with their
arrogant
and haughty
demeanor, will
find that this
God of theirs is
all too
real, and he
will stand
before them and
shriek in
laughter at the
foolish choices
that they have
made. And
a tear will drop
from
the eye of the
Christ as He
beholds His
fallen children
and recites to
them His words
of long
ago: " 'We
piped and you
did not dance;
we
wailed and you
did not mourn.'
" ( Matthew
11:17)
"Well now", say
the churchmen
and the
academicians,
"What kind of
foolishness is
this? Have
we not made
these things
the subject of
great and
in-depth
study?
Have we not
proven with
our theologies
and histories
that these kinds
of images are
merely the
work of
primitive minds,
that there is
but one means of
understanding
this world of
ours and that is
with the five
sense? Are
we to
endure young
fools with
high-stepping
ideas that paint
such ridiculous
portraits of
words and prose
with no
scientific
"facts" to back
up what
they say?
Why, our
experience of
the deity must
be mediated
through the
corruption and
filth that has
become the human
condition.
Revelation has
not occurred for
thousands of
years,
and at that it
most certainly
must have a
rational
explanation,
just as
such primitive
concepts as
resurrection and
incarnation came
about
because the
poor, dear fools
of the time had
not the great
knowledge
that we so
smugly
possess.
Theology, yes
theology, is the
answer
today!
Look what we can
do with our
theology!
Up, God,
through the
hoop! Now
roll over and
play dead!
What
fun! This
is surely how we
will solve all
the problems of
this
nasty old
world."
And yet the
world they are
saving sinks
more
into decay and
depravation each
day, while they
design their
paltry
little social
programs and
call them
"mission" so
that the rich
can
sleep at night,
well-fed in a
starving
world.
They delude
themselves with
biased
statistics into
thinking that
things are
getting
better when it
is a fact that
more people will
starve in this
world
this year than
did last.
They take up
offerings of
coins and use
it to buy gruel
to feed a
handful of
starving
children then
stuff
themselves to
the point of
bursting on
foods so rich
that they
destroy
their hearts and
put them in
early
graves.
And this great
theology of
theirs tells
them that this
is all right --
not ideal to be
sure -- but all
right, when in
reality this
great theology
of theirs
has
become nothing
more than an
illusionary
scapegoat,
leading all that
follow
its foolishly
contrived
claptrap farther
and farther away
from the
light that to
this day shines
forth as a
beacon from the
ancient
writings of the
Christian
faith.
Yes, that which
calls
itself
Christianity
finds itself in
a most sorry
state, a state
which
does indeed
appear quite
hopeless.
|
|
|
|
The
Census
Of
Babylon
By Philip D.
Ropp
November,
1977
|
|
|
Promiscuous
tags and
liberal lip I
hate,
That
gutter
currency that
swamps the
state
Where
slaves
who knock
their masters
down and clear
The
till
are certain of
a
great career.
I
went there as
the guest
of liars, who
Would
neither
entertain
nor let me go,
Liars
for
whose putrid
frames death
would not
function
Unless
equipped
with a
carbolic
truncheon.
I
saw the land
an orchard,
the foxes
creeping
Between
the
crumbling
walls and
watchmen
sleeping;
On
grapes
perennial the
foxes thrive.
I
saw what I
hoped never
to see alive,
The
dog
that fouled me
pampered and
well-fed
The
niggard
king in
plumes, the
good men dead.
I
saw the cult
of slaves,
the rites
imposed
On
jailbirds
by a eunuch
in priest's
clothes,
From
which
peeped out his
servile
origin:
The
best
dressed leper
cannot change
his skin.
A
local proverb:
when you
buy your slave
Buy
a
stick too, and
teach
him to behave.
Al-Mutanabbi
|
Some
60
years ago, in
those glory
days of World
War I, my
great uncle
Leroy
found that he
too was to go
under the
conscription
of the draft
so as
to be sent to
kill a
faceless enemy
that was, in
fact, of a
similar
ancestry to
that from
which he
descended.
Distant family
ties not
withstanding,
the basic
stone that
stuck in his
gizzard was
that of the
realization
that if he
were to go to
the army, he
would be
forced to
become a cog
in the wanton
and evil
machine of
war. He
turned to
his church
(Congregational
by variety)
for a
solution,
hoping that
they
would reassure
him that such
abominations
as warfare
were contrary
to
the teachings
of the faith
that they
professed, and
instead was
lectured
severely
concerning his
"patriotic
duty to God
and country."
Leroy,
feeling that
this argument
was at
serious
variance to
what he had
read in his
Bible, again
made a check
of the
Scriptures.
He found that
the position
of the
Biblical
writers was
very much his
own.
After all, he
would realize
much
later, this is
where his
loathing of
war had come
from in the
first
place.
Leroy, always
much too
intelligent
and farsighted
than is
good for any
man, stood
upon the
laurels of his
faith and
refused to go
to the
army. He
told them that
he would
instead take
the position
of
"conscientious
objector," a
position not
yet glorified
as it was
during the
later
abomination in
Viet
Nam.
"Outrageous!"
cried the
officialdom of
the
church, "How
preposterous
not to want to
die for one's
country!"
The
government
would not hear
of of Leroy
becoming a
conscientious
objector; he
had no valid
reason not to
want
to go, save
that of
fearing hell
if he should
participate in
the
carnage, and
the government
surely could
not allow one
not to fight
simply because
the fighting
was
evil.
"He
must be mad!"
they all
shouted, "Take
him
away at once
and lock him
up lest he
infect others
with this
madness of
his!"
And as they
took Leroy
away and
locked him up
in his cell
in the
madhouse, he
noted with
more than
passing
curiosity that
the
conscientious
objector
status that
had been
denied him due
to his lack
of killing
ability was
reserved
instead for
the clergymen
that had
insisted upon
his
madness.
It
took Leroy 40
years of
struggle
within
himself to
realize that
the madness
that he had
become
involved in
had
never really
been his own,
but rather
that of the
spirit of
"Babylon
the Great,"
the great
"Whore of the
East" that
manifests
itself in the
hearts of men
and leads them
on in their
pursuit to
call madness
truth
and truth
madness.
Jesus of
Nazareth
proclaimed the
truth and he
was strung up
for what the
powers of the
time called
madness.
Nearly 19
centuries
later, Adolph
Hitler would
proclaim
madness, call
it by the name
of truth, and
come within a
cat's whisker
of becoming
emperor of the
earth.
There
is a spirit, a
power among
men that
leads them to
love madness
as they love
nothing
else. As
with a
rotten tooth,
they run their
tongues
deliciously
around the
black hole
in the decayed
enamel and
marvel at the
wonderfully
delirious
feeling
that sweeps
through
them.
The deeper and
blacker the
hole that
they peer down
into, the
greater the
thrill of it
all. The
more
stench that
rises from the
primordial pit
of their
existence the
more
covetously
they protect
their useless
and filthy
treasures.
In
the beginning,
they read in
their Bibles,
bound with the
flesh of
beasts, God
lifted the
creation out
of
chaos.
What they
ignore is
the fact that
ever since
that day man
has done all
in his power
to
crawl back
into the murky
waters from
which he
arose.
He has gone
so far as to
invent a piece
of madness
capable of
blowing the
entire
earth into a
near infinite
number of
pieces of rock
and clay, and
sits
now with his
finger upon
the great red
button,
waiting as a
child on
Christmas Eve
for just the
right moment
to come around
so that he can
most fully
enjoy the last
great
catastrophe.
And yet when a
soul
flatly refuses
to become a
part of the
madness he is
merely laughed
off
as insane and
put away, or,
if he appears
particularly
threatening,
he
is put to
death.
Not
immune and, in
fact, one of
the great
allies of the
power of
madness within
the world is
the church
that
calls itself
by the name of
Christ and yet
chooses to
turn its back
on
his teachings
so that it may
lay up its
considerable
store of
soiled
treasures and
ill-gotten
material
goods.
The church
hangs
ever more
precariously
over the great
precipice than
does the
government,
which at least
claims to be
no more than
the self
righteous
invention of
men, in that
it holds
itself to be
representative
of the
One True God
and the passer
of His
judgment upon
all the
dwellers of
earth.
Like the fool
that lights a
match in a
dynamite
shack, the
church holds
up the flame
of truth so
that it might
better read
the
book of the
damned, and as
it opens to
the first page
it finds not
print upon
paper but a
mirror with it
its own
foolishly
grinning face
staring back
up at it.
"Well,"
the wise ones
chuckle, "We
don't know
about all
this.
Ah-ha!" they
shout, "We
have it!
More alms
to the
poor!
Just a little,
you know, we
do have the
budget to
think
of.
Hallelujah!"
they call out
to gathered
masses,
"We have saved
the day!
Pass the loaf
and the cup of
crimson
wonder!"
And
so they all
sit in their
self
gratification
and the book
of the damned
is made the
subject of
great
study.
And meanwhile
the flame of
truth is
locked away in
the
back of the
closet along
with the
brooms, mops
and the old
silver
communion
set. And
it is
forgotten,
though its
flame
continues to
burn as
brightly as
ever.
And those that
would speak
the truth to
them are
labeled mad
and put away
or scorned and
laughed at as
fools,
for the clowns
have captured
the circus and
through their
antics have
convinced the
crowd that
with their
foolish tricks
and treats
they can
create their
own truth and
that this
truth is that
their faith
can
serve them no
greater
purpose than
to entertain
them and keep
them
laughing as
they pass
through the
great
nothingness.
And yet at
some point the
show must
close and the
tent be taken
down.
Yet
it may well be
asked, "What
becomes of the
truth?"
And the answer
is of course
most obvious
to one who
would
but
look.
The truth
shall always
remain for it
always has
been.
Before the
earthly, the
temporal, and
all that is
false
existed there
was the truth,
and after the
earthly, the
temporal, and
all that is
false cease
their
existence
there will be
the
truth.
The truth
exists not as
a part of the
universe that
stretches out
immeasurably
before the
infinitesimal
human mind,
but rather the
truth is
that which
takes its
existence from
that which is
apart
from and
greater than
the very
universe
itself.
Take the
example
of the
tree. It
stands firmly
rooted into
the
earth.
It has
not eyes to
see, nor ears
to hear, nor
nerves with
which to feel,
and
yet when it
knows the
fresh warm
breeze of the
coming spring
it senses
the truth of
the new season
and knows to
put its leaves
out into the
golden warmth
of the
sun. And
so stands man,
with his
consciousness
as limited as
that of the
tree and yet
the winds of
truth
blow upon him
as well.
But
with man when
he feels the
breeze that is
of truth he
says at once,
"A storm is
up," and he
runs inside
for
shelter, for
he is afraid
of the truth
and what it
may call upon
him to
do in its
name.
And when the
truth once
made itself
manifest
among all men
and said to
them, " Lo, I
am
truth.
Come, follow
me," the men
responded by
murdering the
truth in hopes
that it would
cease to
bother them
and leave them
alone, for
there are many
men who
live by
selling their
lies to others
and to follow
the truth
would cost
them their
dirty
business.
The few
followers of
truth that
still
remained took
the corpse of
truth and
hauled it
away, and the
killers
of truth
heaved a sigh
of relief and
sealed its
broken body
into the
earth and went
back to the
task of
peddling their
lies.
All
seemed well
among the men
that peddle
lies
until some
days later the
fanatical
followers of
the truth
began
rejoicing and
crying up to
the heavens,
"The truth
lives!
Both
now and
forever!"
And the
peddlers of
lies went to
the place
where they had
sealed the
truth into the
earth.
And lo, they
saw
that truth was
not where they
had buried it
and some were
afraid.
But others
among them
reassured
them, "Why
fret over the
god of fools?"
they
said.
"Does not our
business go on
as
usual?"
For
though truth
had dwelt
among them,
they had seen
it not.
And to
be sure,
business went
on as usual.
Very
soon after
this, those
that called
themselves the
followers of
the truth
organized and
decided to
call
themselves the
church is
honor of the
truth.
And it was not
long
after this
that the
church forgot
about the
teachings of
the truth and
they became as
the peddlers
of lies, yet
much worse
because they
peddle
their lies in
the name of
the
truth.
And
so it is to
this very day
that when the
the breeze
that is the
truth blows
upon the
church all of
the members
run inside and
pull the
shutters over
the
windows.
And they raise
up idols in
the name of
the God of
nothing and
pray to them
for
protection,
hoping that
the truth will
leave them
alone so that
they
might be about
their dirty
business.
And they hire
a puppet to
stand in front
of them with
his arms
around the God
of nothing and
reassure them
that the truth
will never
make its way
inside and
threaten their
dirty
business.
And the church
that stands in
the
name of the
truth sets up
training
centers so
that the
puppets may be
taught the
proper things
to say and do
so that the
truth is
never
allowed inside
and so that
the props may
always be made
secure behind
the God of
nothing.
These dupes
are taught to
believe that
the
truth is
merely a
concept that
is always
relative to
its place in
history and to
its culture,
and that since
all that they
believe in is
the God of
nothing (whom
they created
for this
express
purpose) they
can run around
in circles and
make the truth
anything that
they want it
to be.
They have
developed
elaborate
tools and
named them
such
clever things
as "Biblical
criticism" and
"hermeneutics,"
and by
employing
these tools
with skill
they can even
convince
themselves
that
they need have
no fear, since
the truth
never really
came back up
out
of the ground
in the first
place.
So
they put on
happy faces
and tell each
other
that
everything is
just
wonderful, and
they skip and
dance around
the
much beloved
God of
nothing, and
they make up
issues and
solve them so
that they feel
a real
importance in
their
existence.
But
meanwhile, the
truth stands
shut outside
in the cold,
the spittle of
the false
witnesses
running down
his cheeks
where it mixes
with the tears
that he sheds
in silence and
runs down
his face to
freeze on the
hair of the
beard of his
chin.
And the
warm breeze
that he had
tried to reach
them with has
risen to a
howling
gale and
already it is
banging the
shutters and
loosening the
shingles, and
the "witnesses
to the truth"
can hear none
of the
commotion
above their
own drunken
singing
and shrieks of
laughter.
And the truth,
along with the
few of his
ragged
followers that
remain,
shuffling from
foot to foot
in the vain
effort to keep
warm, speaks
quietly to
those that
blaspheme his
name:
"You think
that you are
rid of me but
you are
wrong!
I will always
be with you,
lo, even to
the end of the
age.
Perhaps you
will see me
peering up
through a
greasy four
day growth of
beard over a
bag clad
bottle of
muscatel.
Or on a street
corner
as a whore,
battered by
the pimp that
has her strung
out on
heroin.
Or perhaps in
the gaunt face
of a child
that starves
and
dies while you
gorge
yourselves on
the stolen
Feast of the
Lamb.
It matters
not, for you
will see me
everywhere,
and yet you
will look
again and see
only my eyes
fading off as
the smile of
the Cheshire
cat. And
yet again you
will look and
see nothing at
all.
But you will
remember my
eyes, coal
black and
piercing with
the flames
of eternity
flickering
within
them.
And as you
continue about
the
business of
your charade
in my name you
may, in the
comfort of
your
favorite
corduroy
smoker, feet
warmed by the
crackling
fire, have
cause
to
wonder.
Yet I have no
doubt that you
shall wonder
for but a
moment."
And as Uncle
Leroy pointed
out some 50
odd years
after his
ordeal, "It
would seem
that Saint
John the
Baptist's axe
is
laid to the
root of the
tree."
|
|
|
|
|
Addendum:
The
Incident Year
How
Jesus
Christ Saved
Me
From Liberal
Christianity
July 4, 2007
By Philip
D. Ropp
|
|
During
the
1970's, I was
a candidate
for
ministry in
the United
Presbyterian
Church in the
U.S.A.. I
attended
Alma College,
a
small, liberal
arts,
church
affiliated
school, and
received very
good grades in
my course
work in
religious
studies.
I was well
respected by
the faculty
and my fellow
students, and
continually
assured that
my future in
the
church was
bright. In the
beginning of
this process,
God
was merely a
concept that I
took for
granted.
By the end of
this
experience in
liberal
religious
education, my
faith
had been
shaken and
challenged to
where I was
uncertain that
there was
any spiritual
reality to
life at
all.
In
the last year
of my
education, I
found
myself
spiraling
downward into
an abyss in
which my life
became
increasingly
meaningless
and sinful.
Shortly after
I graduated in
the
spring of
1977, I was
willing,
eager, even
desperate to
find any kind
of reality
that existed
beyond the
meaningless
charade that
my life had
become.
And so, when I
was offered
the
opportunity to
explore
occult
spiritism, I
seized this
opportunity
with such zeal
that within
a few days I
had acquired a
demonic entity
and found
myself
obsessed
and
threatened.
At the moment
at which I
realized that
possession
was the
intended and
unavoidable
outcome, I
sought help
and it was
forthcoming. A
friend, a
Christian
named Jack,
who was
himself
struggling in
much
the same way
as I,
performed an
impromptu
exorcism that
we would
forever after
refer to
simply as "The
Incident."
Through this
Incident, we
witnessed
together the
awesome and
life changing
reality of the
saving grace
of
Jesus Christ.
When
I entered
college to
study for the
Presbyterian
ministry, I
did so in the
hopes that
studying
religion
would
strengthen my
waning faith
and answer the
question that
haunted many
others and
myself: “Why?”
But just
the opposite
proved
true. My
Bible
professor was
angry and
still
estranged from
God due to the
death of his
father when he
was 14.
He
taught me the
Bible
wasn't
true. My
theology
professor was
a Marxist who
had long ago
sacrificed
his faith
upon the altar
of a worldly
socialism.
He taught me
God did not
exist.
The man that
guided my
religious
vocation was a
churchman with
a jolly
façade who hid
his lack of
spiritual
substance in
the political
machinery of
the
Presbyterian
Church.
He taught me
faith
didn't matter.
The
more I studied
about God, the
less I knew of
him. The
less I knew of
God, the more
hedonistic my
behavior
became.
The
more
hedonistic my
behavior
became, the
farther I sank
into the
morass of
sin. I
entered into
that time
that St.
John
of the Cross
called the
“dark night of
the
soul.”
It is that
time
in which, to
bring a soul
to
the light, God
allows that
soul to become
immersed in
utter
darkness.
To
draw that soul
to him, God
removes
himself
from it.
My cries to
heaven echoed
across a cold,
empty
universe, and
I was lost and
alone.
There
was
a song back
then by a
group called
"Rufus."
It was called
Tell
Me Something
Good.
My
own mantra
became “show
me something
real.”
It was in the
month after my
graduation
that I turned
to the occult
in
the quest
for anything
spiritual: for
something
real. Then one
day, at the
end of
a dead
end road,
there was a
house.
In this
house was
something.
To tell the
truth,
I didn't know
if it was real
or not.
When I spoke
to it, it
seemed to
answer in my
head. I
asked it to
come with me.
And it did.
Over
the
next few days,
I would
discover just
how real this
thing
was.
Invisible,
inaudible, yet
able to
demonstrate
its presence
in subtle
ways, by day
three it had
become
powerful,
ever-present
and
increasingly
malevolent.
Fear turned to
foreboding.
Foreboding
turned to
resignation.
Resignation
meant yielding
control, and
yielding
control
brought on the
conviction of
complete
hopelessness.
Walking
across the
Alma campus in
a gathering
physical and
spiritual
darkness, I
saw the light
coming from
the snack bar
at the student
union.
In this light
sat a friend
of mine.
It was
Jack!
With the last
ounce of my
free will, I
walked
in and sat
down across
from him. He
was marginally
aware that
something
strange
had been going
on with
me. And,
through the
inspiration of
the Holy
Spirit, he
suddenly knew,
instinctually,
what
to do.
We
walked
out into the
night and he
told me to
pray.
For the first
time in years,
I really
did. The
darkness that
threatened to
envelope me
abated
somewhat and I
felt a glimmer
of hope.
Across
the deserted
campus and to
the
football field
we
walked.
He told me to
kneel, and so
I did.
He laid his
hands
on my
shoulders and
prayed
earnestly in
the name of
Jesus Christ
that
whatever
was tormenting
me should be
gone. I fell
forward unto
all
fours.
Something took
control of my
throat and was
using my vocal
chords to
issue a series
of
bloodcurdling
primal screams
into
the warm,
spring night
air.
While
this was
happening, I
found myself
falling
endlessly into
a dark
abyss.
As
I fell, I
could hear the
screams coming
from my own
throat recede
into the
distance above
me. Then
I saw
a light that
was hidden
behind a
cloud.
It looked very
much like a
thunderhead
passing in
front of a
full moon. As
it came
closer, a hand
extended
from the
cloud.
At the base of
the palm,
where the hand
meets the
wrist, was the
imprint of a
nail. I
reached out
and took this
hand and
grasped
it with all my
strength.
When I did, my
falling slowed
to a stop;
then I felt
myself
catapulted
upward.
As I rose, I
could hear the
screams coming
from my own
throat grow
closer.
Suddenly, I
felt myself
slam into my
own body with
a force that
knocked
me down face
first onto the
ground.
The
screaming
abruptly
stopped.
The
night was
quiet, and it
was gone.
I
came away from
this Incident
with a deep
and
profound
knowledge of
Jesus that
has, from that
time to this,
manifested
itself in a
real and
abiding,
personal and
living
relationship
that is the
axis around
which my life
revolves. In
the
spirit filled
days that
followed, the
Scriptures,
which had, in
the
days prior,
been merely
academic
subject
matter, were
now opened to
me
as the Word of
God. The
New Testament,
in particular,
was
revealed
as eternal
truth in such
an obvious and
yet profound
way that I
would
marvel at how
familiar
passages
suddenly were
rife with
meaning I had
never seen
before.
I would let
the book fall
open and
thrill at
the way in
which the
words would
speak directly
to my heart,
and know
that this was
God
directed.
The apostles
of Christ
became real to
me, moreso in
some ways than
the living
people I
encountered,
and I
established a
special
identity with
Paul, who was
also saved out
of his
sin in the
same kind of
dramatic
fashion in
which I was
saved out of
mine.
During the
summer that
followed, I
tended to keep
all of this
within
myself.
This new found
and glorious
faith was
that pearl of
great price,
and I
responded by
locking it
away within
the deepest
part of my
psyche.
Early on, I
went to the
college
library and
pulled books
on psychology
and philosophy
and realized
that
it is Jesus
that answers
all of the
questions that
are posed by
the
various
disciplines
that attempt
to delve into
the nature of
human
consciousness.
I now knew
that theology
that is not
centered on
the revelation
of God the
Father,
through the
person of
Jesus Christ,
is doomed to
irrevocable
error. I
understood
that secular,
scientific
history that
examines the
resurrection
under the
premise
that if it
could not
happen it did
not happen,
leads to a
dead
"historical"
Jesus, and, in
so doing,
denies the
living and
transcendent
Christ.
I am witness
to this living
Christ.
No
amount of
theological
posturing or
philosophical
symbolizing
can change
this, but it
is certainly
effective in
drawing
inquiring
young minds
away from the
eternal truth
of God and
sending them
down the
primrose path
of
unbelief.
And I
am witness to
this as
well.
Having
experienced
the living
Christ and
knowing that
the power of
God was placed
into his
pierced hands,
I
quickly came
to realize
that religious
teachers
without faith
lead more
souls to
destruction
than all the
armies of the
world
combined.
I
was hideously
ashamed of the
role that I
had played in
this during my
years as a
student.
Like Paul at
the martyrdom
of Stephen, I
had
held the
cloaks of my
professors and
cheered them
on as they
attempted
to stone to
death the
faith of any
student that
dared to
profess real
belief in
Christ. I
rejoiced when
I got to throw
the rocks
myself. Like
Paul in
Damascus, I
had this
summer to
reflect and to
repent; to
pray and seek
penance.
The
initial
reaction to
the sudden
presence of
Jesus in my
life was to
question the
idea of
attending
seminary in
the
fall. The
inherent
contradiction
of a new
Christian with
a degree in
religion and a
background in
ministry (I
had served a
local church
as
an interim
pastor) was
not lost on
me, and it
seemed wise to
take some
time and let
this all sort
itself
out. It
was at this
time that
my maiden
aunt, a woman
of great faith
herself,
presented me
with a
volume of
sermon notes
that had
belonged to my
great uncle,
Leroy, who
had passed
away during
the previous
year.
Uncle Leroy
was the
family
eccentric; a
man of true
genius and
nearly
unfathomable
talents,
who had wanted
merely to
serve God
within our
native
Mennonite
tradition, but
who had,
unfortunately,
struggled with
insanity
through most
of his adult
life. When
finally
healed, he
spent his old
age coming to
grips with a
life of
unrealized
potential. He
wrote of
countless days
in the asylum
in which he
was sustained
by the words
of
an old poem
that went, "I
like to think
my Savior
knows, How I
missed
the the path I
chose."
By midsummer
the Lord had,
through
prayer,
made it clear
to me that
seminary was
something that
I needed to
do,
and Uncle
Leroy had me
convinced that
I did not want
to miss the
path
that I
chose.
In the fall I
was enrolled
at McCormick,
a liberal
Presbyterian
seminary on
the south side
of Chicago,
and began what
would be a
short, but
certainly not
uneventful,
career in
religious
academia.
As a small
town central
Michigan boy,
I had
been exposed
to precious
little in the
way of
homosexuality
when I
arrived in
Chicago in the
fall of 1977,
and certainly
none of it
church
related.
It took me by
surprise when
I realized
that the
roommate
I had been
assigned was
of this
persuasion.
In fact, our
relationship
got off to a
rocky start
when the first
question that
my
new roomy
asked me was
what my
opinion of
homosexuality
was.
Thinking this
some kind of
heterosexual
posturing, I
responded by
joking
that, as an
avowed
pacifist, it
was the only
thing I could
think of
that might
make me resort
to violence.
It was when he
turned his
nose
up and stomped
out of the
room in anger
and disgust
that I
realized my faux
pas.
And so it was
that
I was labeled
a homophobe
even before I
was tagged
with that most
dreaded of all
liberal
labels:
"fundamentalist."
It
is not my
intent to turn
this witness
of
God's saving
grace into a
treatise on
these labels
that
Christians
have
invented for
the purpose of
identifying
themselves and
belittling,
insulting and
infuriating
one
another.
However, for
purposes of
clarification,
some
admittedly
oversimplified
definitions
of the
terms
"liberal" and
"fundamentalist"
are in order
at this point
in
these
proceedings:
A
"liberal" is
one that
adheres to a
basically
Christian
belief system
that allows
for the
assimilation
of modern
scientific,
psychological,
philosophical,
historical,
social and
cultural
paradigms into
a
flexible
theology that
also is open
to the
influences of
various
non-Christian
religions and
secular
worldviews.
Typically,
liberalism
denies the
divine
inspiration of
the Bible in
favor of the
various
critical
disciplines
that have
evolved over
the past 300
years or so.
The historical
and human
person of
Jesus is seen
as submerged
beneath
the
theological
construct of
the Christ, an
ancient
eastern
concept
assimilated by
the early
church in
response to
the idea
of the
resurrection,
which is
assumed to be
an invention
of the
apostles.
Heaven, like
hell, is a
state of mind
and
satan is a
metaphor for
evil.
Ethics, morals
and the
concept of sin
are
relative to
cultural
norms, and the
transcendence
of God
virtually
nonexistent.
It is,
therefore,
more
accurately a
form of
religious
humanism
rather than a
faith system
in the
traditional
sense.
A
"fundamentalist"
believes in
the divine
inspiration
and inerrancy
of the Bible,
the historical
reality of the
virgin birth,
miracles, and
the
resurrection
of Jesus,
which is both
real and
physical.
Jesus Christ
is the lone
agent for the
salvation of
humankind
through his
sacrificial
death at the
cross.
Just prior
to the close
of human
history is a
period of
great earthly
turmoil called
the "Great
Tribulation,"
in which a
satanically
possessed
human, the
"Anti-Christ,"
rules the
earth under
one government
and
enslaves and
torments its
inhabitants.
Those saved in
Christ are
raptured to
heaven, and
there is
great debate
as to whether
this is
accomplished
before or
after this
Tribulation.
Satan and the
evil spiritual
entities under
his
command are
regarded as
the real,
intelligent
adversaries of
humanity,
and the second
coming of
Christ is the
climax of
human history,
at
which
time the Last
Judgment sends
the bodily
resurrected
righteous in
Christ
to heaven,
while
the devil and
his minions,
evil doers,
and the
unsaved are
banished
forever to the
fires of hell,
which is
considered a
real place and
in no way a
metaphor.
While
the
liberal-fundamentalist
dichotomy has
its roots in
the 19th
century, it
came to full
fruition in
the
Presbyterian
Church during
the early
decades of the
last
century.
During these
troubled
years,
Princeton
Theological
Seminary, the
flagship of
the
Presbyterian
Church U.S.A.
seminaries,
and an
institution
that traced
its
conservative
heritage back
to the staunch
Calvinism of
Jonathan
Edwards,
emerged as the
dominant
liberal voice
within the
Presbyterian
tradition when
conservative,
"fundamentalist"
theologian
J. Gersham
Machen
was driven
from his post
as professor
of New
Testament by
liberal
"modernists"
in 1929.
This caused a
split in the
church that
resulted in
the
Presbyterian
Church U.S.A.
"liberalizing"
Princeton and,
in turn, the
balance of the
church.
Machen and his
fellow exiles
formed
Westminster
Theological
Seminary in
1929 and, in
1936, the
Orthodox
Presbyterian
Church.
Turmoil within
American
Presbyterianism
continued
through the
balance of the
20th
century.
The PCUSA
became the
United
Presbyterian
Church in the
U.S.A. through
a merger
with the
smaller United
Presbyterian
Church of
North America
in
1958.
The name
reverted back
to
Presbyterian
Church U.S.A.
through yet
another
merger, this
time with the
southern
based
Presbyterian
Church in the
United States
in 1983.
In 1981, the
Evangelical
Presbyterian
Church was
formed by
conservatives
in yet
another split
resulting from
this ongoing
liberalization
of the
church.
Regardless, at
Princeton,
McCormick, or
any other
liberal
UPCUSA or
PCUSA
seminary,
there was and
is no greater
insult than
"fundamentalist."
It is
considered a
synonym for
"ignoramus."
While
the terms
"liberal" and
"fundamentalist"
are
defined in the
most skeletal
way above,
these
definitions do
not
even begin to
scratch the
surface of the
basis of the
debate that
rages
between these
two points of
view.
And the
liberal versus
fundamentalist
debate is only
one of many
dynamics
causing
dissent and
controversey
and turmoil
within and
between the
churches and
the larger
Christian
community.
That being
said, it is
interesting to
note
how
seminarians,
that is those
being trained
for Christian
ministry,
actually
understand
little of the
meaning of
either term,
especially
when one
considers how
instrumental
both have been
in driving
Christians
apart.
We
were welcomed
to McCormick
Theological
Seminary with
a
reception that
also served as
orientation
for the new
students.
The "campus"
was one
building and
the student
body for all
three class
levels was, as
I recall,
about 80
students.
On the front
lawn was
the chrome
sculpture of a
ram that
reminded me of
"Baphomet,"
the
satanic goat
of Masonic
lore.
Inside was a
female
student
who was
serving as
greeter and
handing out
stick-on
"Hello, My
Name
Is:" tags so
that we might
properly
identify each
other.
Her own
name tag had a
number of
"smiley faces"
on it, and she
had decorated
them with
different
looks,
including one
with hair and
beard that
looked
like a smiley
Jesus.
The Dean of
Students, Dr.
Lewis Mudge,
gave
a witty
address that
informed us
that, since
McCormick
Theological
Seminary was
named for
Cyrus
McCormick, we
were not
to fear the
grim reaper,
but rather the
international
harvester.
It
was obvious
from the
groans and
rolled eyes of
the
upperclassmen
that Dr. Mudge
had not
updated this
opening day
material in
some
time.
When I arrived
at McCormick,
the debate
about
ordaining
homosexuals
did catch me
by
surprise.
At this point
in time in the
late 1970's,
the liberal
church was
encouraging a
"don't
ask-don't
tell" policy
and the
militant gays
were
already
arguing for
open
affirmation of
the homosexual
lifestyle and
ordination
of openly gay
pastors.
Liberal as my
undergraduate
education had
been,
this issue had
gone
unaddressed.
Someone had to
define the
word
"homophobe"
for me, as I'd
never heard
the term
before; this
was still
cutting edge
academic
language in
1977.
Other
than this,
however, I was
fully aware as
to what it was
going to mean
to share my
witness of a
real and
ongoing
personal
relationship
with Jesus
Christ within
this kind of
openly
hostile
environment.
In actuality,
I didn't have
to do much of
anything, as
my roommate
made
a point of
sharing his
opinion of me
with anyone
that would
listen.
This meant
that I was
routinely
regarded as a
homophobic,
Bible
banging,
religious
fanatic, and
this in turn
resulted in
little if any
meaningful
social
contact. In
the
conversations
I did have, I
found
that the
more I
stressed the
point of my
personal
relationship
with Jesus,
the more this
reinforced
these
preconceptions
about me, and
the more
antagonistic
would be the
response I
would
encounter.
Regardless of
the actual
definition of
the term, I
was
immediately
labeled a
"fundamentalist,"
and it was
automatically
assumed that I
carried all of
the baggage
the term
seemingly
implied.
Beyond
this, I was
informed that
to believe
such a thing
was an
indication of
mental
illness, and
this was
stressed to me
with emotions
that ran the
gamut from
anger, to
amusement, to
pity. When I
would respond
by
claiming that
I not only
talked to
Jesus, but
received
answers as
well,
it usually
ended the
conversation
with abrupt
exasperation.
Ironically
enough, I now
found myself
on the
receiving end
of the same
kind of
harassment and
abuse that I
had heaped
upon others
during my
undergraduate
years.
Worst of all
was the
silence:
The averted
eyes,
empty smiles,
and no attempt
to
communicate;
to understand
or to
care. I
felt nearly
invisible.
I was
friendless and
alone;
an
outcast.
I had found
penance.
And
so it was that
the halcyon
days of the
summer of 1977
gave way to
the misery of
an autumn of
irony in which
I
found myself
ostracized
among the
students of
the
Presbyterian
Church
for claiming
that real,
personal
relationship
with the Lord
that all
ostensibly
claim as the
motivation for
entering study
for Christian
ministry.
Towards
the end of
September, the
guys
that lived
across the
hall, the
quiet one and
the boisterous
one,
decided to
throw a
Saturday night
party.
The quiet one
came over
to invite the
roommate, and
I answered the
door.
After I
assured him
that
I would pass
the invitation
along, he told
me that I was
welcome to
attend as
well.
For reasons
that now
escape me, I
actually did
decide to go
across the
hall for
awhile.
This was only
marginally
awkward, as I
stood around
the fringe of
the noise and
mayhem nursing
a
lukewarm can
of beer that
someone had
shoved into my
hand. The
quiet
one came up
behind me and
asked, "How's
it going?"
I
shrugged,
"It's going, I
guess."
"You
know," he
said, "I was a
lot like you
when I first
got here."
"You
mean you were
a believing
Christian?" I
asked,
sounding more
obnoxious than
I actually
intended.
"I still
am," he said
calmly. "But
in a
different
way. I
had a very
conservative
upbringing,
and the way
they do things
here was sure
different than
what I
expected it to
be,
and I had a
lot of trouble
adjusting
during my
first year. I
almost
quit. But by
the
second year, I
began to see
the wisdom
behind it, and
I began to
come
around and to
see their
point of
view. I
finally
realized that
the problems I
had with the
church weren't
theirs, they
were really
mine. And it
became all
right to be
here, and I'm
really good
with it
now."
This
little talk
and the
emotionless
way it
was presented
reminded me of
the speech
King Donovan
makes to Kevin
McCarthy in
Invasion of
the Body
Snatchers,
when McCarthy
confronts him
with the
accusation
that
he's
become one of
the "pod
people."
Jack Finney's
chilling
little
story of a
silent
invasion from
outer space in
the form of
mysterious
pods that grow
to become the
dispassionate
replacements
for human
beings is
usually
interpreted as
a satire of
the communist
paranoia
wrought by the
McCarthyism of
the
1950's.
I suddenly
realized that
it worked even
better as an
allegory to
the rise of
liberalism
within
Christianity,
and I began to
wonder if this
wasn't
the real
message that
Finney was
trying to get
across.
If it was,
he certainly
had my
attention, for
I surely knew
what it felt
like to
be Dr. Miles
Bennell,
McCarthy's
character in
the
film.
McCormick
Theological
Seminary was
just a
Christian
Santa Mira,
and I was the
last one
awake. I
imagined
myself wild
eyed and
insane on the
Dan Ryan,
dodging
traffic as I
screamed, "You
fools! You're
in
danger!"
If there was a
bright spot in
all of this,
it was a
visit from a
friend at Alma
that took
place towards
the middle of
October.
The religion
department at
Alma College
was small and
close, and
when Margie, a
female
sophomore
student in the
department,
called to say
that she was
in town for an
anthropology
field trip and
had a freshman
friend along
with her, I
jumped at the
chance to head
to
the Loop for
an
evening.
I took the
girls to
dinner at
Diana's, a
legendary
Greek
restaurant on
Halstead, and
discovered,
much to my
delight, that
Margie's
friend, Jean,
was a sweet
and pretty
blond girl
with big
dimples and a
beautiful
smile, and we
spent the
evening
talking and
looking at
each other,
with Margie
reminding us
occasionally
that she was
still there.
It was a
lovely
evening, and
when it ended
at the
observation
deck of the
Sears Tower, I
agreed to
meet them at
the Art
Institute of
Chicago Museum
so I could see
Jean
one more time
before they
returned to
Alma.
I just caught
the last
southbound
train and was
uneasy over
the fact that
there was
almost no one
else
onboard.
At one of the
stops around
35th Street, a
college age
white male got
on
alone and sat
down in back
of me. I
struck up a
conversation
with
him and asked
if I could sit
next to
him. I
explained to
him that
in the part of
Chicago that
we were
passing
through, it
might be a
good
idea if it
looked like we
were traveling
together
instead of
alone.
Sometimes
there's safety
in even small
numbers.
He
agreed and I
sat down next
to him, found
out his name
was Ron, and
listened to
his
story.
Seems this
young man was
a
student
at the
University of
Wisconsin and
was headed to
Florida
because his
father had
just passed
away. He
was traveling
in a panic and
short of cash,
and someone
had given him
the rather
questionable
advice
of taking the
bus from the
south side of
Chicago to
save
money.
The bus
station was at
95th Street,
which was
nearly no
man's land in
the daytime. I
told him that
he certainly
didn't want to
head down
there at this
time of
night.
When
he explained
that out of
desperation he
had gone to a
Catholic
Church and had
pounded on the
door of the
rectory until
the priest had
yelled that he
was going to
call the
police, I
realized that
the Lord had
assigned this
lost sheep to
me for
the night, and
I invited him
to spend the
night at my
apartment.
"All I've got
is floor," I
explained,
"But it beats
jail -- or
worse."
He agreed, and
after
connecting
with the bus
at 55th, we
made it back
to the
apartment
without
incident.
As we were
trudging up
the stairs, I
tried to
gingerly
explain that
my roommate
was, well,
gay. The
kid stopped
dead in his
tracks. "Oh,
man,
you're not
taking me up
here to get
weird or
anything, are
you?"
he
asked. I
explained that
it was
the roommate
that was
gay, and that
he was rather
excitable, and
that it might
be awkward
when we went
in. I
told him to
just be
prepared.
Well,
this was
certainly
prophetic on
my
part. No
sooner were we
through the
door than the
roommate
wanted
to know who my
friend was and
why I hadn't
told him I was
bringing some
over so late
at night. "His
name is Ron,"
I said firmly.
"He's somebody
I met on the
El. He
needs a place
to stay for
the night, and
I
told him that
he could crash
here."
This
resulted in a
barrage of
rhetorical
questions that
centered
around what an
idiot I was;
"Why would you
do
such a thing
as this with
out consulting
with me
first?
How do
you know the
story he's
told you is
true?
Don't you
understand
that you just
can't pick the
trash up off
of the streets
and bring it
home with
you? How
do you know he
won't just
kill us in our
sleep?"
That
was the queue
I
needed.
"How
ironic," I
said, "He was
wondering what
you might do
to him in his
sleep."
Well, that did
it. Nose
in the air,
stomp,
stomp, stomp
he went into
his own room
and slammed
the door so
hard the
windows
rattled.
As we heard
him
barricading
the door with
his
furniture, the
absurdity of
it all struck
us, and we
started
laughing.
"Wow!" said
Ron, "You said
your roommate
was gay, but
you didn't
tell me he was
such a bitch!"
The
rest of the
night passed
without
incident
and in the
morning we
figured out
that my charge
needed $20
more to buy
a bus ticket
that would get
him to his
destination in
Florida.
As
we stood in
line at the
bank, I
realized that
my window of
opportunity
to catch the
bus and get
back downtown
to see Jean
was
passing.
"Oh well," I
sighed to
myself, "I
guess it just
wasn't meant
to
be." I
gave the young
man the $20,
he thanked me
profusely,
and, with a
heavy
heart, I put
him on the
city bus with
directions to
the Greyhound
station.
Being a Good
Samaritan is
harder than it
looks.
The
educational
part of the
McCormick
Experience had
it's own
surprises.
I plodded
through
classes that
were basically
repeats of my
undergraduate
studies, some
with lower
expectations
and
some that
taught
outright
apostasy.
I took a class
on Paul in
which the
teacher made
the claim that
Paul did not
condemn
homosexuality.
I questioned
this
assertion,
pointed to
Romans 1:
26-27 and
read,
"Therefore God
handed them
over to
degrading
passions.
Their females
exchanged
natural
relations for
unnatural and
the males
likewise gave
up natural
relations with
females and
burned with
lust
for one
another.
Males did
shameful
things with
males and thus
received in
their own
persons the
due penalty
for their
perversity."
I was told by
the professor
that I did not
understand
that Paul was
a victim of
his parochial
Jewish
upbringing
and was
reacting to an
archaic
worldview.
Paul, with the
advantage of a
modern
education,
would
certainly
understand the
difference
between sin
and
alternative
lifestyle.
Further, I
was told that
I had taken
Paul's words
out of context
by not
continuing
to read verse
28, "And since
they did not
see fit to
acknowledge
God,
God handed
them over to
their
undiscerning
mind to do
what was
improper."
The sin, I was
informed, was
not
homosexuality
but
that of not
acknowledging
God.
Perhaps, he
suggested, I
was not
acknowledging
and affirming
God's love for
those that
were different
than I was.
When I
responded with
words to the
effect of,
"You've got
to be
kidding," the
class turned
on me enmasse
and the rest
of the period
was spent in
attack upon my
perceived
bigotry.
I was called
"homophobe,"
"fundamentalist,"
and "biblical
literalist,"
among other
things.
When a fellow
male student
stridently
informed me
that my
remarks showed
me to be the
same kind of
closeted and
frustrated
homosexual
that Paul
himself was,
the professor
let this ride.
I felt
anger rising,
but kept quiet
and accepted
the abuse.
"Penance," I
told
myself,
"Penance."
During
the summer
past, I had
found it
helpful
to write down
the details
surrounding
the dramatic
Incident in
which
Christ had
first revealed
himself to me,
and this
resulted in a
crude
manuscript of
about 60
pages.
Early on in
the McCormick
Experience, I
decided to
share my
witness with
my roommate,
and when he
became
particularly
difficult to
talk to, I
suggested that
he read the
manuscript.
I was
suspicious of
the way in
which he
relished this
idea, but
handed it over
to him
anyway.
It was shortly
after the
above berating
in the Paul
class that I
walked into
the McCormick
student lounge
to see my
roommate
reading my
manuscript to
a half dozen
of our
classmates
seated around
him at a large
table.
He was at
the point in
the story
where I am
screaming with
a primordial
intensity, and
he was reading
in a mocking
and highly
animated and
theatrical
style in which
he had mussed
his hair,
crossed his
eyes, and
was extending
and retracting
his tongue
with each
scream.
His
audience found
this
hysterically
funny, and all
were laughing
with wild
abandon when I
walked through
the door and
stared at
them.
This
resulted in a
minute or so
of awkward
silence, as I
proceeded to
sit
down and tried
to read.
Soon enough
the
individuals at
the large
table were
nudging each
other and
whispering and
giggling like
school
girls.
At this point,
our homiletics
professor
walked into
the room with
a two male
students in
tow who were
sporting the
countenance of
a couple of
whipped
puppies.
He sat them
down and
fetched each a
cup of
coffee.
One of the two
picked up the
conversation
already in
progress by
complaining
that he did
not
understand why
they were in
trouble.
These young
men were
upperclassmen
and were
serving as
interim
pastors at a
suburban
church.
It seems one
of them had
given a sermon
in which he
had denied the
virgin birth
and
resurrection
from the
pulpit, and
neither could
see
the
impropriety of
this. "Look,"
said the
professor,
"You and I are
educated and
sophisticated
men and we
know that
virgins can't
give
birth and
bodies don't
rise from the
dead.
But you can't
take the
miracles away
from the
masses. You
have to be
gentle and
sympathetic
and
encouraging in
the pulpit,
and edify and
educate when
the right
situation
presents
itself."
While
the puppies
were nodding
and agreeing
with this
sound advice,
I'd had all I
could take and
got up and
left in
disgust. To my
surprise the
professor,
apparently
sensing my
discomfort,
followed me to
the elevator,
shoved the
closing door
open
and pushed his
way aboard.
After a moment
of silence,
with all the
pastoral
concern that
he could
muster, he
looked me
squarely in
the eye
and asked,
"How are you
doing?"
"I'm
fine," I
replied, "The
question is
how
are you?"
Bringing
his fist up
victoriously
in front of
his face and
grinning
enthusiastically
he answered,
"Still
fighting the
good
fight!"
Thankfully,
the elevator
door opened
and I
headed as
quickly as I
could to the
exit.
It
was at about
this time,
perhaps midway
through the
semester, that
I received a
note informing
me that I was
to
meet with my
adviser.
He was Edward
F. "Ted"
Campbell, an
Old
Testament
scholar of
some renown,
and someone
whose work I
had admired
in my
undergraduate
days. I
had a deep and
particular
affection
for Old
Testament
studies, and
by my junior
year was much
enamored of
the idea of a
career in
scholarship.
Campbell's
tenure at
McCormick was
one of the
prime
motivating
factors in my
decision to
pursue
postgraduate
education
there, and I
had requested
him as my
adviser when I
applied for
admission.
When
I arrived at
his office,
Dr. Campbell
was
quite cordial
and we
exchanged the
usual
pleasantries.
He explained
that it was
high time that
we got
together and
discussed my
academic
plans, and he
asked me to
sit
down.
Very
tactfully, he
asked if I
was enjoying
my classes and
if I was
having any
trouble
adjusting to
seminary
life. I
told him that
I was somewhat
disappointed
in the
level of
instruction I
had
encountered so
far, and had
found my
classes
less
challenging
than my course
work at Alma
had
been. He
reassured me
that the
reason for
this was the
fact that most
seminarians
came to their
first year of
school with
little or no
background in
religious
studies, and
that he was
sure that I
would be
sufficiently
challenged
once I got
past the lower
level
courses.
Getting to the
point, he
informed me
that there was
some concern
among
the faculty
and my fellow
students
pertaining to
my
socialization
and
class
participation.
Now,
McCormick had
a social
atmosphere
that
was smiley
faces, back
slapping and
the
affirmation of
everyone for
everything
(with the
exception of
traditional,
believing
Christianity).
I
had always
found this
"hale fellow
well met" kind
of thing
saccharin and
disingenuous,
and my
attitude had
not been
improved by
the past few
weeks at the
seminary.
As for my
class
participation,
I believe the
example above
illustrates
the issues
here.
I told
Dr. Campbell,
without going
into detail,
that
I had
experienced a
genuine
conversion
since
graduating
from college,
and that I
was, frankly,
somewhat taken
aback by the
insincerity
and
lack of faith
that I'd
encountered in
the student
body and even
among
the
faculty.
He informed me
that he was
sure that this
was
largely a
matter of
misperception
on my part,
and told me
that I had to
be mature
enough to
realize that
faith
manifested
itself in
different
ways in
different
people.
He asked how I
was dealing
with all
of this.
I told him
that I had
been reading
Kierkegaard
and
Isaiah.
Ted
Campbell sat
back in his
chair looking
serious and
nearly
stern. "I
see," he
said.
After a few
moments of
thoughtful
reflection he
added, "There
is a group of
students here
that have the
same concerns
that you
do.
There are a
few from
McCormick and
some from the
Lutheran
seminary and
some of the
other schools
(McCormick was
part of a
consortium of
divinity
schools
located around
the University
of Chicago).
"They meet
privately, off
campus," he
said,
"And I'm sure
they'd be
happy to have
you join
them. I
can give
you the name
of a student
to
contact."
I had heard
some strange
things since I
had been a
seminarian,
but this
tested my
credulity.
"Are you
telling me
that the
believing
Christians
here have
formed some
sort of
'underground?'
That they meet
in secret?"
"Well," he
said, "I don't
know as I
would put it
quite like
that, but yes,
I guess that's
what I'm
saying."
I told him
that I would
have to give
it some prayer
and some
thought, and
he encouraged
me to do
so. I
was told to
stay in touch
and that
should I have
any need to
talk his door
would be
open.
As
I walked back
to the
apartment I
shared
with my
emotionally
high-strung
and semi
unhinged
roommate, the
penitential
humility that
had been my
primary
emotion began
to give way
to a seething
and righteous
anger. The
realization
that it was
not only
me but Christ
himself that
was being
mocked and
ostracized at
this
institution
dedicated to
the nurturing
of souls for
Christian
ministry
finally
inspired me to
draw my sword
(or in this
case pen). I
declared
a war of words
on this
apostasy.
In the
remaining
weeks of my
time at
McCormick, I
sat at my
typewriter and
pounded out 90
pages of
divinely
inspired
vitriol that
detailed every
aspect of my
displeasure
with the
Presbyterian
Church and
liberal
Christianity
in
general.
I
stopped going
to class and
became a
recluse.
I would leave
my
task on those
evenings when
my roommate
would invite
his friends
over,
who were some
of the most
bizarre people
I'd ever
seen.
They
would sit in
the kitchen
and consume
bottles of
wine and
squeal and
shriek with
laughter.
I would walk
down to 53rd
Street, go see
a
movie or hang
out with the
street
people.
If the gay
drunks were
gone when I
got back, it
would mean
that I could
expect my
roommate to
stagger in
during the
early morning
hours.
After one ugly
incident in
which he came
into my room
drunk and
berated me in
such a
way
that I
actually
feared for my
personal
safety, I
slept with a
heavy
steel table
leg clutched
in my
hand. On
the weekends
when his
friends would
come in from
out of town, I
would buy a
train ticket
and
head back home
for a couple
of days.
Other times I
would take
five one
dollar bills
and go down to
the Loop early
on Sunday
morning
and hand them
out to winos
and engage
them in
conversation.
I
asked one
bleary-eyed
man once what
it was that
the church
could do for
him and his
answer was,
"Just leave me
alone."
I could
identify
with
this. In
the afternoon,
I would go out
to O'Hare and
hang
around with
the Hare
Krishnas, who
were very
friendly,
interesting to
talk to, and
knew more of
Christ than
the good folk
at the
seminary.
I also got a
couple of
beautiful
books out of
the deal,
one a work on
Krishna and
the other a
beautiful copy
of the Bhagavad
Gita.
I think it's a
shame that
they're banned
from the
airports
now-a-days.
I
finished my
tome as the
Thanksgiving
break
approached,
and realized
with some joy
and a large
amount of
relief
that this
ordeal was
nearing an
end. The
work had
evolved into a
series of
about
eight essays
that dealt
with the
different
aspects of the
apostasy of
the
church. Some
of the titles
were "The
Census of
Babylon,"
"Gentlemen,
All is Not
Well," "The
Abuse of
Scripture,"
and "This God
of
Theirs."
I adopted
Uncle Leroy's
rhythmic, 19th
century style,
and it
funneled my
righteous
anger
perfectly onto
the paper,
giving it
an
authoritative
and nearly
prophetic
tone. The
emotion that
went into
these pieces
was
such that when
I was finished
so was my big
old Underwood
manual
typewriter, as
it was unable
to bear up
under the
pounding I
gave its
keys. I went
over to the
library and
photocopied
and collated
my work
into three
copies: one
for Lew Mudge,
one for Ted
Campbell, and
one
for me.
I went back to
the apartment
and carefully
hid the
copies as
insurance
against my
roommate
turning this
into another
production of
his theater of
the absurd.
I
had booked a
late afternoon
flight out of
O'Hare on the
Wednesday
before
Thanksgiving.
Shortly after
noon,
I went over to
the McCormick
building,
which was
virtually
deserted,
and slid a
copy of the
essays under
the doors of
Dean Mudge and
Dr.
Campbell.
I attached a
cover sheet on
the one that
went under
Mudge's door
that read
simply,
"Please Accept
In Lieu of
Class
Work." I
toyed with the
idea of
actually
nailing a copy
to one of
the front
doors of the
seminary, but
the doors were
antique oak
and
beautiful, and
I couldn't
bear the
thought of
damaging
them.
This
was too
Lutheran
anyway.
I made it to
the airport
well in
advance
of my flight
and got to
spend some
time with the
Krishnas.
The
two young men
that I usually
talked to were
there, and
when I told
them
that this
would be the
last time I
would see
them, one
produced the
volume on
Krishna and
presented to
me as a
parting gift,
even refusing
the donation I
offered.
We bowed to
each other and
I was on my
way
home.
Some times the
best
Christians you
meet aren't
Christians at
all.
When
I walked off
the plane and
into the
terminal, my
mother, father
and two
sisters were
waiting for
me.
While I had
not made much
of what was
going on with
me at
seminary, it
was no secret
that I was
"having some
trouble
adapting" as
my mother
would put
it. I
decided it
wasn't a good
idea to bring
up the
fact that I
had burned my
bridges with
McCormick when
the essays had
gone under the
doors, so I
made sure that
the
conversation
in the car
on the way
home stayed
focused on
other
topics.
When I was
asked
how my first
term was
going, I
answered that
I'd had the
chance to do a
lot of
interesting
writing and
let it go at
that.
Back
at my parent's
home in Alma,
I decided
that it was
best to broach
the subject of
the end of my
pastoral
aspirations
and get it
over with, as
this would
certainly be
inappropriate
conversation
at the
Thanksgiving
table.
When
I matter
of factly told
my folks that
I'd decided to
leave the
seminary, my
sisters took
this as their
queue to
disappear from
the
scene while,
I'm sure,
stationing
themselves
within
listening
range so
as not to miss
any of the
fireworks.
As
I had
expected, my
dad
maintained a
stoic silence,
which was
about all he
could do in
the face
of my mother
going
apoplectic.
I received the
usual lecture
that
accompanied
any major
change in my
life; about
how I was
flushing away
my hopes and
my
future.
Then it was
about all of
those that
would
have to deal
with their own
disappointment
and bitter
hurt at my
rash and
callous
decision. And
what of the
utter despair
of those
children at
church that
looked up to
me and pinned
all their
hopes for
their own
future
aspirations on
my example.
This
eventually
degenerated
into the
horrendous
humiliation
and
embarrassment
that I was
causing her
personally
because, as
usual, I had
selfishly
failed to take
anyone
else's
feelings into
consideration
but my own,
especially
hers. I
realized that
I really had
achieved some
measure of
maturity by
the
fact that I
didn't become
angry and turn
this into
anything
uglier. As
soon as this
initial
venting
subsided, my
dad suggested
that
it was a good
idea to sleep
on it and let
the chips fall
where they may
in the days
ahead.
The
next morning,
while my
mother was
absorbed
in preparing
dinner and
fuming to
herself, my
dad told me he
needed
help with
something out
in the
garage.
This was his
code for
wanting to
talk to
me. The
house was my
mother's
domain, but
the
garage was my
father's, and
he conducted
all of his
business here.
While my
mother had
done all the
talking the
night before,
the old man
decided maybe
it would be a
good idea to
do some
listening, and
so I
poured out the
story of my
seminary
experience, as
related
here.
While I knew
he would be
more
understanding
than my
mother, I
didn't
expect him to
see the humor
in all of this
that had, so
far, escaped
me. He
was still
laughing at
the essays
under the
doors and the
fact that I
had sought
Christian
fellowship
amongst the
winos and Hare
Krishnas when
I asked him if
he was
disappointed
in me.
"Disappointed?"
he asked. "Oh,
hell no!
If I'd been
you, I would
have told them
to shove it up
their ass when
they gave me
the queer
roommate!"
"So," he
asked, "How
are you going
to get your
belongings
back from
Chicago."
"Well," I
answered,
"With
everything
else I've had
on my mind, I
haven't been
able to figure
that part out
yet."
"Why
don't you take
your car down
to Chicago
and get your
belongings and
bring them
back here?"
Now, I owned a
car, of sorts,
but it needed
work
and I'd left
it behind
rather than
trying to deal
with the
madness and
expense of
having an
automobile in
the
city.
I'd sold my
1971 Triumph
Spitfire
during the
summer as
part of my
effort to
simplify and
spiritualize
my life, and
because I
needed the
money to pay
for the
"McCormick
Experience."
My father
was a retired
master
mechanic, had
owned an auto
repair
business, and
had restored
and sold high
end used
cars.
This meant
that I'd had
the benefit of
owning nice
cars at a
young age, but
the one I
currently
had was a 1966
Buick Skylark
that had been
taken in as a
trade when I
sold my 1971
Mustang
Fastback
2+2. The
paint on the
Buick was
faded, there
was rust along
the bottom of
the rear
quarters, and
the
rear
differential
was failing
due to the
abusive habits
of the
previous
owner.
It made a
"schuff,
schuff,
schuff" sound
as it went
down
the road.
"Man!" I
protested,
"The rear end
in that Buick
is
pretty rough.
I don't know
that it would
go all the way
to Chicago and
back."
My dad looked
at me as if I
was an idiot
and said,
"Well, then,
why don't we
put a rear end
in it before
you go, and
then
you'll have a
car, and you
can go get
your things
and get on
with your
life." And
just like that
my old man put
me back into
the driver's
seat
of my own
life.
The
day
after
Thanksgiving,
he called his
junkyard
connections,
located a
good used rear
end for the
Buick, and he
and I spent
Thanksgiving
weekend
swapping rear
axle
assemblies.
First thing
Monday morning
I was on the
road to
Chicago and by
mid afternoon
I had all my
stuff
loaded into
the Buick and
was on my way
back
home. My
roommate
was at class
and came back
to find that I
had moved out
and was gone
for
good. I
left enough
money to cover
what should
have been my
half of the
bills, and a
phone number
where I could
be reached if
this
was
insufficient.
I did get a
call a week or
so later, and
he
accused me of
skipping out
and sticking
him with more
than his share
of
the expenses.
I informed him
that if that
had been my
intention, I
wouldn't have
left him any
cash or a
contact
number. I sent
him a check
for the amount
he demanded
and figured
that if it was
more than I
owed
it was a good
investment if
it meant
severing all
ties and
putting an
end to the
McCormick
Experience. As
the old
Skylark purred
easily up
through
southwestern
Michigan
towards home,
I heartily
praised God
for
his Glory and
for my
freedom.
The
last official
contact that I
had from
McCormick was
a hand written
note from Dean
Mudge
explaining
that no
credit would
be extended
for the
essays, and
suggesting
that it might
be a good idea
if I got some
psychological
counseling.
He ended
on a very
upbeat note
and wished me
a happy and
prosperous
future in
whatever I
decided to do
with my
life.
For over
twenty years
after this, I
would
regularly
receive pleas
for money
during fund
raising
drives, and
newsletters
inviting me to
class reunions
and
updating me on
the wonderful
things
accomplished
in the church
and
academic
careers of my
former
classmates.
During
these days, my
parents owned
a mobile
home south of
Fort Myers,
Florida and
spent the
winters
there.
My dad began
to lobby for
the cause of
me spending
the winter
down there
with
them.
Work was
plentiful, the
opportunities
unlimited, and
the weather
was beautiful.
He was
persuasive
salesman. My
mother, once
she had
overcome the
initial shock
of me leaving
seminary,
decided that,
for once, my
dad was right,
and this would
be just the
ticket for
me. I
could take
some time,
sort things
out, and
decide in
which
direction I
would point my
life. I
had to admit
that I didn't
have any
better
options, and
it didn't take
much to
outstrip the
potential that
Alma offered
over the
winter.
And so,
by the second
week in
December, I
had the '66
packed and was
cruising
towards
Florida.
The
months in Fort
Myers were
good. It
was quiet and
warm and I had
lots of time
for prayer and
meditation.
I got a job as
night auditor
at the
Nautilus Inn
in
Cape Coral,
and once I
settled into
this, I found
myself with
many
long, quiet
and peaceful
hours to spend
alone with my
Savior, and
this
became a
cherished time
of healing and
I grew strong
again in mind
and
spirit.
The Lord
became my
teacher and I
became an
adept
spiritual
warrior,
learning to
deflect the
temptations of
the flesh and
gaining in
confidence
daily.
The Buick had
proved to be
such a sound
automobile
mechanically
that my dad
decided it
should look as
good as it
ran. He
began
restoring the
body, working
in the
driveway in
the
Florida sun,
and whistling
happily as the
project came
together
nicely.
Meanwhile, I
helped where
and when I
could and
drove his
'74 Malibu to
work at night
while my car
was laid up. I
was making
good
money and
contributing
my share and
more to the
household
expenses
while spending
little,
causing no
trouble, and
socking away
cash for
the future.
This made my
mom happy with
me on all
counts, and we
all
got along
particularly
well.
When
the Buick was
prepped and
primered, we
went to the
local Earl
Schieb in Fort
Myers.
The old man
had been
crafty enough
to stop in
here several
times already
and check out
the
finished cars
waiting to be
picked
up.
"This kid can
paint," he
told me.
"We'll get you
a good paint
job
here."
We walked up
to
the counter at
about closing
time and my
dad asked to
see the
painter.
A tall, skinny
guy in
coveralls and
about my age
walked
out and asked
what we
wanted. "I
want you to
paint a car
for me," dad
said. We
were told to
see the girl
at the
counter.
My dad
held out a
twenty dollar
bill and said,
"President
Jackson says I
should talk to
you."
The
president got
this young
man's
attention
and the old
man made the
following
deal:
The car was
already
prepped and
he'd buy the
paint.
Earl Schieb's
would get
their
$79.95, mask
the glass, and
the kid would
primer coat
and paint the
car
using the
provided, high
quality
materials.
If it was a
nice job,
President
Jackson would
again express
his own
personal
thanks.
When
we went to
pick the
finished car
up, the
proud painter
came
bouncing out
of the shop to
show it
off. He
did indeed do
nice
work, and the
Buick sat
sporting many
coats of
beautiful and
shiny sky
blue
lacquer.
My dad was so
impressed that
the young man
got a
special
commendation
from President
Grant and
everyone was
happy.
I spent most
of the next
day polishing
the Buick's
factory chrome
wheels and
trim, and
detailing the
white vinyl
top until it
was snow
white and
looked like
new.
Shallow
perhaps, but I
will admit
that
the comments
of "Wow! Nice
car!" that I
got while
filling up at
the
Sunoco station
did bolster my
self esteem,
and until the
day he died I
was never able
to adequately
express to my
dad what it
had meant that
he had spent
this winter
dusting me off
and putting me
back up on my
feet.
Towards
the end of
March, The
Nautilus Inn
was
sold to a
group of New
York Italians
that resembled
the cast of
one
of those "B"
grade God
Father knock
offs that were
so
popular back
then. I
took this as
the sign I'd
been waiting
for
that it was
time to pull
up stakes and
head back to
Michigan.
During these
months in
Florida, I had
thought long
and often of
the
girl
I'd spent that
beautiful
evening with
at Diana's,
and as the
dust of
the seminary
ordeal
settled, I
began to look
at my
preoccupation
with
McCormick as
the cause of
lost
opportunity.
I didn't have
the
courage to
call or write,
and I had
convinced
myself by now
that she
was probably
in a serious
relationship
with someone
else, and had
forgotten all
about
me. I
knew that she
was too young
for me and
that there
were a
thousand other
reasons why it
would never
work, but,
still, I had
to know for
sure and the
only way to do
that was to go
in
person and
find
her.
Then, at the
worst, I would
know that if
Bogey always
had Paris,
then at least
I would always
have Chicago.
I
pointed the
Buick north
and, as usual,
it
ran
flawlessly.
I made it as
far as Troy,
Ohio before
the
taillights of
the cars in
front of me
and the lines
on the highway
began to run
together.
I grabbed a
motel room and
slept for four
or five hours,
and then it
was back on
the road and
finally back
to my
parents house
in Alma.
It was late
afternoon by
the time I got
the house up
and running
and myself
settled in,
and I was
exhausted
from the
road.
The emotional
enormity of
what I was
about to do
settled in,
and I had a
prayer session
with the Lord
that was as
intense as any
I've ever
had. I
was alone and
lonely, and I
felt
that if I was
to continue on
from this
point to
whatever God
had in his
plan for me, I
was not going
to be able to
do it in this
state of
mind.
And I told him
so in no
uncertain
terms.
The
sleep I
desperately
needed came
fast and
hard, and I
was out for
nearly twelve
hours. I
woke up
excited,
dressed and
headed for
Alma College,
telling myself
that I would
certainly run
into some old
friends, and
that I could
maybe check on
the social
status of Jean
in this way
without
hideously
embarrassing
myself too
much.
However, when
I walked past
the window of
the
student union,
there she
was. I
mustered my
courage and
resolve
and went in
and stood
across the
table from
her. She
looked up
and gave me
the same sweet
smile I
remembered
from
Chicago.
I
asked if I
could sit
down.
"Sure!" she
said.
And we've been
together ever
since.
As
our
relationship
began to
bloom, the big
hurdle for me
was telling
Jean about the
Incident with
the
demon.
Since the days
at McCormick
when this
story
routinely
resulted in
the
listener
inquiring
about my
mental
stability, I
had become
rather
gun-shy about
sharing it,
and only did
so in
circumstances
where the
Lord would
nudge me into
knowing that
it was
warranted.
This was most
certainly one
of these
warranted
circumstances
and, by
providence I'm
sure, Jack
showed up at
precisely this
moment and we
told her the
story
that we called
"The Incident"
together.
Much to my
relief and
delight, Jean
not only
accepted the
truth and
validity of
the story, but
took it as an
opportunity to
share her own
faith.
She was
entering into
the same
difficulties
with her
college
religious
studies that
ultimately
resulted in my
trip to the
football field
in
the year
previous.
And so, she
could actually
relate to this
in a
way others
could not, and
it served to
make our
relationship
deeper and
stronger.
By
mid May, 1978
as the first
anniversary
of The
Incident came
to pass, I
found myself
with my soul
mate,
as
we enjoyed a
love that
seemed to
blossom with
the spring.
What a
difference a
year can
make.
From this
glorious
beginning we
would
build a life
and a family
together and,
in the end, we
would learn in
strange and
unexpected
ways that the
love of God
and the saving
power
of Jesus
Christ
conquers all.
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