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McCormick



The Seminary Papers


By Philip D. Ropp

Submitted to McCormick Theological Seminary
In Lieu of Course Work

For the Fall Semester -- 1977



Contents

Preface
Introduction
With Liberty and Justice for All
The Strange Malady
About Your God...
This God of Theirs
Gentlemen, All is Not Well
The Abuse of Scripture
The Census of Babylon
Addendum: The Incident Year



People -- what have you done --
locked Him in His golden cage.
Made Him bend to your religion --
Him resurrected from the grave.

                               Ian Anderson




Preface

    
     In the fall of 1977, I entered McCormick Theological Seminary in Chicago for the purpose of pursuing the Master of Divinity degree necessary for ordination as a minister in the Presbyterian Church.  It was during the spring of this same year that Jack Quirk and I had encountered Christ in a most dramatic and soul saving incident that we have ever since referred to simply as "The Incident."  The story of this remarkable year of 1977 is related in "The Incident Year," which forms the backdrop to the works presented here and so I shall go into no further detail.

     Suffice it to say that at that time (and, for that matter, to this day) I had placed much of the blame for the personal decline that lead to this Incident on the instruction that I had received at Alma College under the guise of education in the Christian faith:  My training in the "preministry" program.  While I certainly understand that it is I and I alone that bear the ultimate responsibility, it is, nonetheless, also true that the godless and at times hedonistic aspects of my undergraduate experience played no small role in bringing me to the edge of the spiritual abyss that I had plunged into when Jesus was gracious enough to save a sinner such as I.

     When I entered McCormick Theological Seminary it was with an open mind and with the hope that my undergraduate experience had been an aberration.  What I discovered was the same faithless and worldly version of institutional Christianity, but with a thin layer of smarmy false pietism spread over it like honey over a corpse.  Like the devil wearing a "smiley face" mask.  

     And this is what I told them ...



Introduction

     Elsewhere I have in rather blunt terms outlined some of the observations that I have made concerning the state of the church and of "Christianity" (the organized variety) since beginning my brief seminary career.  These remarks were made not out of any sense of vindictiveness or superficial indignation, but more because of a great need on my part to reconcile the reality of the church to its ideal as set forth in the New Testament.  The basic conclusion that I have come to through this process of analysis is that the organized church is an institution that bears not even slight resemblance to that which we see within Acts and the works of Paul. 


     There is talk among a few of reorganizing this or reforming that, and to be sure these persons are very well meaning in their intentions.  However, the matter has gone much past the results that would be possible through these suggested (and in my opinion cosmetic) changes.  The basic fault that is to be found is that of the corporate structure and mentality of the organization itself.  In any introductory business course one of the first principles that is taught is that the corporation has one major goal that must supersede all others:  The propagation of the organization itself.  It is for this reason that the organized church cannot be representative of New Testament Christianity, for when the responsibilities of the faith come in conflict with the well-being of the corporate structure, it is the corporate structure that must always win in the end.  The ridiculous game of suburban make-believe Christianity that the church has involved itself in must go on basically as it is.  Not because it is in accordance with the teachings of Christ (which anyone must be able to see as well as I can that it certainly is not) but simply because this mode of expression is good business.


     In July of 1976, I was a "youth delegate" to the annual meeting of my Synod which was held complete with all sorts of meaningless pomp and ceremony at a small, Presbyterian college in southeastern Ohio.  As youth delegates (most averaged about 16 years of age -- I was 22 at the time), we were instructed by our counselor to smile at the commissioners, be as polite as possible, and basically not to cause any trouble.  We were, however, allowed to ask questions, and when I overheard two commissioners discussing an $800,000 "reserve fund" that the Synod held, I became quite curious.  I asked one of them if holding on to large sums of money such as that was not at variance to Jesus' teaching concerning the tearing down of smaller barns to build bigger barns and the importance of trusting in providence.  His reply was, "I quite agree with you theologically, but having it is just good business."  When I pushed the issue by asking if the Synod's business was always considered more important than the Gospel of Jesus, I was told in less than the politest of terms that as a youth delegate I was allowed the privilege of observing my church in action and that I shouldn't abuse that privilege by asking questions about things that I was too young to have any knowledge of.  After this, our beloved youth counselor instructed us to ask only "positive" questions, at which I gathered up my things and began the eight hour drive home.  It was one-thirty in the morning, but I was much more willing to spend the rest of the night on the road than I was to try to deal with foolishness such as that.  I may have been young and inexperienced, but I was certainly old enough to tell right from wrong.

     I had gone to this Synod meeting hopeful of finding a judicatory that was sincerely struggling with the concrete issues that the Gospel of Jesus must confront, and within this context I will admit to a certain naiveté.  I had spent the year past working in a small church as the assistant to the moderator of the session and while finding some personal reward in the close personal relationships that I was able to establish through my pastoral functioning, I was most disheartened by the general lack of a sense of maintaining any integrity with the teachings of the New Testament faith.  In a situation where the church was struggling to maintain its existence, the two major goals of the session were the purchasing of a new riding lawn-mower and the resurfacing of the parking lot.  In the self study that was conducted the means of attaining financial security was seen as a need to recruit more "well-to-do" members, while future priorities consisted of buying new flags and a portrait of Jesus for the sanctuary. 

     When a man that had been attending the church regularly (though he had not become a member) had lost his unemployment benefits and was pushed out of the sleeping room that he had occupied came to me for help, I suggested to the session that he be employed  as a part-time church caretaker and remunerated for his services as a mission project.  I was in turn informed that mission money for such as these was turned over to the Salvation Army and that this man should go there for help, his pride not withstanding.  There were insurances and such things to think of that just simply made the church's role in such an undertaking quite impossible (though of course they were able to find $1800 for their parking lot and $500 for their new lawn-mower).  This poor soul was then forced to spend the next month sleeping on the floor of my office (luckily I was able to hide this fact from the church people who I am certain would have put a stop to this immediately due to insurances or such other nonsense) until I was able to find help for him through the local Social Services office, which succeeded in taking what remained of this proud little man's dignity away from him and would ultimately result in his death (another story which is told elsewhere). 


     Though admittedly this is an extreme case, it nonetheless is symbolic of the deep sickness that has manifested itself within the church.  Money and business are the major concerns, and though of course there are many well meaning individuals that are very much concerned with this sate of affairs, they are sadly a very insignificant minority.  Throughout the church structure there is much talk of changing this or that and of affirmation and Christian commitment, yet it is obvious through escalating salaries, the widespread stress upon the acquisition of material treasures, and the general lack of regard and commitment to the faith of Jesus and the Apostles that this talk is at its most basic level nothing more than empty rhetoric.  When the Christian facade that the church has attempted to construct is torn away all that is left is a corporation like most any other, save the all important special tax privileges that it enjoys, and as with any other corporate structure its most important concern is and will always remain the corporate structure itself.


     While reading through the collection of essays that follow I fully realize that there will be those that will attempt to pass me off as merely another overzealous "fundamentalist" or as some sort of fanatic.  I invite you to read closely, for to the thoughtful reader it will be obvious that I am by no means a fundamentalist nor a fanatic.  To those that tend to deal with people by attaching labels to them and so disregarding whatever they have to say, I ask merely your indulgence.  It is my fond hope, however, that many will find what is written in the ensuing pages disquieting and perhaps thought provoking, for in all honesty it can be noted that I am neither stupid nor poorly educated.


     The tone that I have adopted is one that is admittedly born out of anger and frustration, but more it is an attempt to simply express my feelings in the most honest and straightforward manner possible.  It is my contention that there is a great and eternal truth that is presented within the Bible, that curious and ancient collection of documents, a truth that cannot and must not be submerged in the myriad of esoteric and in many ways useless studies that characterize virtually all of that which claims to be education in the Christian faith.  It is a truth that transcends the historical and cultural barriers that are claimed by many to be the all important criteria in determining right and wrong, truth and fiction. 

     The crux of the matter, then, is just this simple: to those that have rejected the reality of an all-powerful transcendent being as childish, primitive, unscientific, or unintellectual, I will most likely appear to be at least somewhat deluded.  I am well aware of all of the arguments that can be made from these various positions, for I too have lived within traps such as these for a considerable length of time, and I have made to others all of the arguments that I presume will be used against what I have written in the ensuing essays.  If you are right and I am wrong then it is I that have made a fool of myself and I apologize for my impertinence.  If, however, it turns out that I am right after all then it is not me that you will have to prepare your excuses for and I wish you luck.  My intent here is not to pass any judgments nor to abuse or insult.  I wish only to instruct and ask only that the reader, regardless of status or position, attempt to keep his mind open to the very distinct possibility that things may not always be as they appear.



And now, go, write it before them on a tablet, and inscribe it in a book, that it may be for the time to come as a witness forever.  For they are a rebellious people, lying sons, sons who will not hear the instruction of the Lord; who say to the seers, "See not;" and to the prophets, "Prophesy not to us what is right; speak unto us smooth things, prophesy illusions, leave the way, turn aside from the path, let us hear no more of the Holy One of Israel."

Isaiah 30:8-11



Blind Justice


With Liberty

And
Justice for All




By Philip D. Ropp


November, 1977

    
The Last Judgment

"Then the King will say to those on his right hand, 'Come, you whom my father has blessed, take for your heritage the kingdom prepared for you since the foundation of the world.  For I was hungry and you gave me food; thirsty and you gave me drink; I was a stranger and you made me welcome; naked and you clothed me, sick and you visited me, in prison and you came to see me.'   Then the virtuous will say to him in reply, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you; or thirsty and give you to drink?  When did we see you a stranger and make you welcome; naked and clothe you; sick or in prison and go to see you?'  And the king will answer, 'I tell you solemnly, in so far as you did this to one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did it to me.'  Next he will say to those on his left hand, 'Go away from me with your curse upon you, to the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels.  For I was hungry and you never gave me food; I was thirsty and you never gave me anything to drink; I was a stranger and you never made me welcome, naked and you never clothed me, sick and in prison and you never visited me.'  Then it will be their turn to ask, 'Lord, when when did we see you hungry or thirsty, a stranger or naked, sick or in prison, and not come to your help?  Then he will answer, 'I tell you solemnly, in so far as you neglected to do this to one of the least of these, you neglected to do it to me.'  And they will go away to eternal punishment, and the virtuous to eternal life.

Matthew 25: 34-46


     My friend, Ray, died last night.  He was no great leader, no great personality, and by the standards that such things are judged, he made no great contribution to humanity.  He was a little man like so many little men that spend their lives groping for a little dignity and end up in an obscure grave wearing the only decent suit they've ever owned.  Instead of eulogies the most that is said is, "Well, he's better off."  Ray is not better off.  He's dead.

     Life was never easy for Ray.  At the age of 12, when most boys are busy playing at the things that boys do, Ray was setting pins in a Grand Rapids bowling alley for 10 cents a line to help support his mother.  His father had died when Ray was still an infant, and the subsequent moving around of his family never permitted him to attain more than a second grade education.  This lack of education bothered Ray a great deal.  On the dozens of job applications that he filled out and never heard from again he would always fill in the blank labeled "education" with "grade 6 completed."  Ray was embarrassed about his lack of education, but he could read and write a little and this was something in which he took great pride.

     He was able to read well enough to spend lonely hours reading the stories that filled his dog-eared old Bible, and he read well enough to attain an understanding of those teachings that so many who claim a strong adherence to the Christian faith seem to overlook.  He learned and believed that no matter how little he had it was to be shared with those even less fortunate than himself.  I have seen him spend several week's pay to buy a second-hand sofa and within a week give it away because, "those folks got a baby and they didn't have no bed for the little fellow and I just couldn't stand the thought of him having to sleep on the floor."  I have seen him go without things that he needed because he'd spent his money on milk for the baby that slept on his sofa in the dingy apartment below his own.

     There are some ridiculous values by which this society of ours judges a man.  Fame, fortune and prestige are held to be the balance weights against which that mystical and elusive quality "success" is weighed.  By this measure Ray was indeed a little man, for he left this world with very little more than he had when he entered it.  How sad it is that we tend to judge a man by the goods that he has acquired or by the influence that he wields, because to do so is to judge him by a standard that is false.  The true indication of the worth of a man should be found in such things as compassion, concern for others, honesty, and friendship, and if this is so then my friend Ray was a giant of a man, for he possessed all of these qualities in abundance.

     The fact that Ray died alone in his dark, cold room with the 4 dollars that he owned in his pocket is in itself a tragedy, but it is a tragedy that is compounded by other circumstances.  Ray knew that his heart was bad.  So did the people at Social Services that had him working a road crew to pay his rent.  So did the doctors at the clinic he attended.  So did the people that provided the medical insurance that paid for the medication that he needed to sustain his life.  Yet when he was no longer able to afford his medicine none of these people made it clear to Ray that he was eligible to have it bought for him by the state.  To be sure, this information was provided on one of the many forms that Ray was handed, but to a man with second grade capabilities the legalese of these forms could just as well have been Greek.  In the end it was a combination of work that was too heavy for a man with a bad heart, no medication, and a proud, " I have to work for what they give me" attitude that proved fatal to my friend.

     It is a sad commentary on this society of ours -- a society founded on the humanistic principle of equality for all -- that a man that wants to work and make his own way ends up with nothing.  Not even his life.  To the minister of the church that Ray attended it went even beyond this life, for as I composed my remarks for Ray's funeral he insisted that I make no mention of afterlife concerning Ray because "people like that" (those not of the so-called "Family of Christ," i.e. the Church) are not so entitled.  For Ray, his goal in this life was simply the dignity that comes from earning one's own way, a dignity that he was denied to the end.  Beyond the tragedy of the life and death of my friend Ray lies the depravity of the seven headed demon of bureaucracy that devours such little people by forcing them to surrender what little dignity they have merely so they can survive.  For Ray even survival was ultimately denied.

     When I first heard the news of my friend's death and the circumstances involved my immediate response was to call for the persecution of whomever was at fault.  I soon came to realize, however, that it is not that easy, for it is each and every one of us that is at fault.  It is you and I that have allowed this system of ours to grow into a monster that can kill and not even produce a pang of conscience.  It is you and I that stand by in the face of such a tragedy as this and merely shrug and say among ourselves, "Well, he's better off."  Perhaps Ray is better off.  It is the rest of us that have lost.  And perhaps as I stand alone at the simple grave of a simple man it is not only for a fallen friend that I weep, but for what the rest of us have become.


The Death of a Friend Revisited:
A Postscript to "With Liberty and Justice for All"
 


     My friend Ray, dead now for nearly a year, was perhaps the one person I have ever known that was a true Christian in the New Testament sense of the term.  He was no great churchman, no great scholar, and all things considered no great expert on much of anything that most men consider important.  Ray owned one good suit at the time he died, and that was the one that his family (somewhat self consciously) bought for his funeral the day after his death.  He had many of the bad habits that seem to plague most of us in that he smoked too many cigarettes, swore like sailor and ate the wrong things -- the latter not by choice but by necessity. 

     The one thing that Ray could do better than anyone else that I have ever known is love.  He was totally unselfish with the few possessions that he owned, and would have had more than the scant room full of junk that his relatives fought for after his death if it hadn't been for the fact that he would give anything of any value to anyone whose need he judged to be worse than his own.  Here was a man that truly would have laid down his life for a friend if the need had ever arisen, and not though twice about doing so.  No exaggeration.  I saw him hurt so deeply as to wonder if he would ever recover by the woman he loved, as she would skip into his life long enough to take him for whatever money and material goods she could get out of him, then leave with another man.  Yet each time she came crawling back he would forgive her without questions and try to mend her hurts the best that he could.

     I remember going with him to visit the aged mother that he kept in a dumpy nursing home and trying to comfort him as he cried on the way home -- not because he had a wealthy sister and brother a scant few hours drive away that refused any remuneration to him for the bills that he always managed somehow to take care of, but because he grieved so deeply the fact that he didn't have the means to see that she was taken care of properly.  He had met the struggle to take care of her all of his adult life, and when she reached her twilight years, her mind losing the battle rapidly to the ravages of senility, Ray hurt because he could no longer keep her in his own home and provide her with even the most meager of material comforts as he had been able to do when he was young and his heart was strong enough so that he could make his living doing whatever back-breaking work that a man with no education or training could get.

     At the time I knew Ray, I was working a kind of interim pastorate at the church he attended.  The minister of this church, a close friend and very decent man, had helped Ray through some hard times and when he left for another position in a church in upstate New York, I took it upon myself to to keep an eye on Ray and see that he got along all right.  Naive as I was, I assumed that a church was basically for the purpose of ministering to those in need.  The congregation, however, proved that I had been mistaken in this assumption.  Misfortune hit my friend hard when his unemployment benefits ran out and he was forced to vacate the seedy sleeping room that he had been renting.  Swallowing what little pride he had left, he turned to me for help and I took the matter to the session of the church.  I suggested that they employ Ray as a part-time limited custodian.  He had been hanging around the church doing odd jobs such as vacuuming and washing windows (he did this without anyone's knowledge because he felt guilty over the fact that he had no money to donate to the church's treasury) and I merely suggested that he be paid for doing these things and in that way it would possible to salvage what was left of his considerable personal pride.  The answer was a flat no.  There simply was no money in the budget for such an extravagance, what with the new sealer that was needed for the parking lot and the new riding lawnmower (which I was assured was a necessity) to pay for.  I suggested that these funds could be secured from the so-called "mission" budget and again the answer was negative.  It seems that all of the mission money for "that kind of thing" was donated to the Salvation Army who, I was told, were the experts in handling cases of the less fortunate within the community.  Besides, there were such important issues at stake as insurance should Ray be inconsiderate enough to hurt himself while working in their precious building, and what if he should happen to break something, and how would it look to have someone like that hanging around the place all of the time.  And of course the clincher to the whole argument: how could they be certain that Ray wasn't some bum or derelict that didn't want to work and was just trying to get a free ride.  How indeed.  The matter was dropped with no further discussion, and as I recall the meeting moved on to consider what some felt to be the very important matter of allocating money for new flags for the sanctuary. 

     In the meantime poor Ray slept on the floor of my office at night, sneaking out early each morning so that none of the church people would catch him, and never once did I hear him complain.  I do recall, however, that he would on occasion walk around after the Sunday morning service and thank various members of the congregation for allowing him to worship with them.  It struck me as most paradoxical at the time, and even more so now, that the one person in that church that most exemplified the humanistic principles of the Christian faith as set forth by Jesus in the Gospels was denied by many even the courtesy of a polite greeting on Sunday mornings.  Ray would have gladly sacrificed his very life for anyone of those people and with a few noble exceptions not withstanding, the general opinion that they held of him was that he was a nuisance and an eyesore and that his main goal in hanging around was to free-load.

     I have never been a poor man, for i have always eaten at the appointed times and been warm in the winters and have always laid my head on feathers when the cool of the evening called me in from outside.  And my roommate tells the fat lady at the supermarket that we poor, deprived seminarians live in poverty and she agrees and states her plight as the same,  and all the time I think of a little man that fought all of his life to keep a roof over his head and food in his belly and his mother warm and well kept.  Will this mocking never cease?  My friend Ray struggled his whole life with basically two goals in mind: to stay alive and to be good to people in whatever way he could.  And what did he get for his troubles?  One good suit to be buried in and a decent funeral (which I had to fight to provide for him), while his wealthy sister stood at the luncheon afterwards and bemoaned the fact that now she would have to bear the burden of taking care of Mother (which, by the way, consisted of sticking the poor old lady in another institution).

     Ray attended my church because he had a deep love of people and a strong and persevering faith in the Christian Gospel, the gospel of love.  He attended my church because he believed this to be the place where all men were equal and where he could find dignity without having to pay for it, and where he could find love and a place to give love.  Never did he speak an unkind word about anyone there, and, too, there never was an occasion when he did not have a kind word to say about (or to) someone.  And how did these gracious "Christian" people respond?  They made poor Ray the butt of their jokes and they told their children to stay away from him.  They worried about having him around too much for fear that he might steal some valuable material treasure from their all holy building, and they worried about leaving money around where he might take it.  And when I brought his case before them when he was most in need all they could think of was their parking lot, their lawnmower and their insurance policies.  I told them of Ray's honesty and basic goodness and assured them their beloved dollars would not be going to waste.  I offered to personally supervise everything that Ray did and to take total responsibility for him.  They chuckled at my naivety and lovingly reprimanded me for my youthful zeal and idealism, assuring me that I would gain more sense in such matters as I grew older.  The answer was no. 

     When I told Ray of their decision he looked at the floor to hide his hurt from me and said quietly, "I can't blame them.  It's not their fault that I'm a bum."  The following week he worked extra hard at the vacuuming and windows -- and polished the pews as well.

     There is a simple and basic curse that permits the church from being Christian in the New testament sense: the curse of the dollar-god.  Ray could have won the esteem and admiration of every member of the church and they would have loved him as a Christian brother if only he would have had a few bills to throw into the collection plate each week.  If only he could have pledged.  Ray had no money; all that he could offer them was love and that just simply was not what they wanted.  Even more tragic is the fact that love was the one thing that they could not offer in return.  Christianity is a poor man's religion and the church is owned by the rich and as long as this is so, the basic attitude of the church will not be Christian.  Empathy for the poor is not enough; it is in fact a rather base form of mockery.  It is the throwing of crumbs into the wind and then sitting pompously on fat behinds while those that have been "helped" scamper to stay alive.  And of course they must be grateful of there is no point in helping them at all.  Ray died not because he was refused the scraps from the rich man's table, but through a lack of love and concern, and as he was lowered into the ground the only comment that people from his church made was, "Well, he's better off." 

     The man that was chosen pastor of the church and assumed those duties at my departure sat me down as I was going about the task of preparing my remarks for Ray's funeral and insisted that I make no mention of afterlife for Ray because he had never been "Baptized into the family of Christ."  Even in death, Ray was to be deprived by this foolish and ungodly thing that calls itself by the name of Christ -- the man that Ray had followed so quietly and faithfully for all those many years of struggle.  Such cruelty and madness I have yet to fully comprehend and most likely never will.

     I have a vision that comes to mind when ever I think of my old friend Ray.  I see God sitting upon the Throne of Judgment on the Final Day and I see all of those that sat in judgment upon Ray in this life and refused him their love and concern about to be cast into the ever-burning torment for their transgressions.  And at the last instant I see Ray step forward and intercede with the Almighty, offering to go to eternal torment himself if He would but spare his friends.  Then I think, and perhaps only then, will they understand.



Darwin Ape


The
Strange Malady


By Philip D. Ropp


November, 1977



     
     There is a legend that on the Final Day of Judgment, God will assemble

those that have claimed to be witnesses in His name while acting at variance with His Word and judge them apart from all the rest. 

     "Oh, dear Father," they will plead, "Be gracious unto us.  Lo, these many years we have built our churches in your name and worked so very hard to see that all would pay their tithes.  We ask only that you treat us as we would treat you given that our places were reversed." 

     The Lord ponders their request and at last tells them, "Very well, I shall do as you have asked.  I shall do precisely to you what has been done to me when our places were reversed."  And with that, he throws open the eternal gates to reveal rough-hewn and bloody crosses stretching as far as the eye can see -- a cross for each and every one of the false witnesses.



     The term "Malady" in the title of this piece is somewhat misleading to the reader, since we are dealing here with that wonderful institution that is called "organized Christianity" (among other things), and said institution is not merely ill but rather deceased.  Oh, it still has some sort of earthly presence (the only presence it has) in that it owns much in the way of real estate and cultic paraphernalia (candle holders, choir robes, office machines, etc.) but the truth of the matter is that what we are observing here is a corpse that should have been buried eons ago so that the smell of its rotting flesh would have been banished from the face of the earth.  Christianity, as we see it in the New Testament (and nothing else is Christianity, whether it chooses that name for itself or not) most likely ceased to exist at that somewhat nebulous point in history when it began to call itself the "state religion" of the decaying Roman Empire.  What apparently happened here, in reality, was that Rome became the state of the church.

     This is not to say that the earlier days of the church were characterized by the internal functioning of God's kingdom within the world, but rather with the advent of "Roman" Christianity that potential was lost.  It is most likely that the religion of the New Testament actually died much earlier than this given the evidence that is available to us, but at least during the years of martyrdom and persecution an attempt was being made to follow the way of the Master.  In all probability it is when the church submits to the governmental structure of the world (which it supposedly denounces) that it loses sight of the true kingdom, and by the closing of the New Testament era the struggle for the recognition of power through the false politic has begun.  And yet when it is realized that to hold such earthly power often meant to die the hideous death of a martyr, it can be clearly seen that this is still much more attuned to the theme of the Gospel of Christ than those of later days who, through the false power of ecclesiastical office, would become the slayer instead of the slain.

     The strange malady, then, is not Christianity.  The faith that is based upon the Gospel of Jesus is not susceptible to the foolishness of worldly evil.  The true Church, that which seeks earnestly to follow the correct path of the Christian faith as presented in the New Testament, exists not in buildings or judicatories and does not adorn itself with the trappings of the material world to stand before the masses and proclaim itself mighty and righteous.  the true Church does not pay its highly trained "witnesses to the truth" to stand before the gathering of the flock and proclaim the emptiness of the God of Nothing who, they claim, wants no more from them but that they should "affirm" each other in their ungodly behavior. 

     The true Church does not run a string of indoctrination centers which encourage and train the fledging false witness in the fine art of inventing the truth to go with earthly circumstances -- and this so he can draw his "professional" salary without the guilt of knowing that he has become part and parcel to the perpetration of the blasphemy of the Great Lie that calls itself the "Church of God" or some such thing. 

     The true Church exists as it always has, unseen but ever present as it weeps for those that have denied the truth and power of the very tradition that they claim to represent.  It exists through history -- not because of it, and claims no great role for itself save that of attempting the near impossible task of following the Way, in itself a commitment that leaves little time for afternoon teas at the vicarage and such other nonsense.  The true Church is not readily visible (and especially not to those most deeply involved in the silliness of "Christendom") but exists as the kingdom of God awaiting only the souls necessary to populate it.  And still it waits, watching sadly the malady that not only possesses the organized "Church" but in no small way is that which calls itself by the name of Christ, yet stands against all that He stands for.

     How, then, does one that is in earnest concerning the following of the teachings of Jesus go about doing so if the institutions that bear his name are possessed of this strange malady?  Obviously, the first step is to stay out of the country clubs, fun houses, and show palaces that call themselves churches.  What better way to be led away from the truth than by falling in with those that are active members of the deception?  The church that manifests itself in worldliness has built itself upon a foundation of sand, and as can be clearly seen throughout its history, when this foundation has become exposed new sand has been hastily piled upon the old to make it again temporarily secure.  When the day comes that the false foundation of the organized church gives way, the fall will be horrendous, and to be sure no one will find comfort within its confines when it tumbles into so much whitewashed debris.

     The next step would be to go back to the New Testament and begin reading it as something more than some loose guidelines towards a false moralism.  This requires a different approach than even the most dedicated "fundamentalist" in that those of this bent seem prone to "literalize" only those sections of the Scripture that support convictions made quite outside the realm of Biblical truth.  It is just as foolish to claim that the Bible is totally the Word of God as if from His own mouth as it is to claim that it is entirely human in origin.  In this respect it can be seen that the fundamentalist and the scholar actually represent different sides of the same coin.  Both claim only partial responsibility to the Christianity of the New Testaments through selective use of Scripture, and so righteously stand and defend their respective doctrines as the truth.  For one the doctrine of the infallibility of the Scriptures causes him to lock his God away in the confines of a cobweb covered and dusty old book, while for the other his God is reduced to nothing more than prattle about "Q" sources, redaction criticism, historicity of this or that, etc., ad infinitum.   The one treats Scripture as if it were the Absolute, the other as a curious relic from a forgotten age, somehow miraculously preserved down to the present time so that it may be studied in the same manner as and compared at length to other documents from the distant past.   The result is that both hold human doctrine as if it were absolute, the result of which is that the nasty name by which the latter most frequently refers to the former applies equally to both: "fundamentalist."

     It is and always has been true that the Scriptures are holy, yet never have they been Absolute.  As with all works of men, whether divinely inspired or not, these too will pass away, for as the Scriptures themselves tell us, only God is Absolute.  Therefore, what must be be of utmost importance is to follow the teachings of Jesus just as closely as possible and to work as intensely as one can at making the values of the Christ the values of his own life.  Sadly, this will not leave time for such follies as the search for Noah's Ark or Biblical criticism.  Christianity, in its true sense, is a full time occupation and to bind it up within the Scriptures, the organized church, or academia, is to fall into the very clutches of the strange malady.



Yuppie jesus
    



About Your God . . .




By Philip D. Ropp


November, 1977


About your God . . .
When do we get to meet him?
I know he doesn't get much
in the way of exercise
since you took away his sword
and gave him a comb instead.
Mustn't have him
appearing before the ladies' tea
(Theophany)
With his hair all messed up
(Epiphany)

Perhaps --if we study very hard --
You might let us go with you
when you go to clean his cage
and bring him his afternoon tea.
Maybe you could bring him out
for my mates and me
And wind him up some Sunday.


    It would seem that the result of obsession with the strange malady would be the denial of any kind of God at all so that the immersion into the temporal and earthly might be more complete.  This is not the case at all since having some sort of God or other kicking around up in the attic of the church (beside the worn-out altar cloths and hymnals that are no longer used) is a very real necessity.  How could they ignore the responsibility of the faith as it is presented in the Scriptures without the "Grand Old Man" upstairs to inform them through the well-paid "witnesses to the truth" that their indiscretions are of "His will?"

     The beloved clergy are given the difficult task of running their particular branch of the family business, and with this responsibility always first and foremost in their minds, they must be very careful of the way in which they use the "Word of God" (which is actually what they call it while all the time keeping a straight face) lest they let out some ill chosen piece of scripture that might offend the gathering of the faithful.  After all, it is the faithful, through their  donations to the kingdom of God that pay the "professional level" salaries (which I am told they readily deserve since they are well educated) and provide the comforts of the manse to these dear men and their beloved families.  

     The clergyman, realizing this from the very beginning of his formal training, learns very quickly to forget what little truth he may have been aware of that he might never upset those dear souls that pay their hard earned money to hear him speak his words of comfort to them.  He is not unlike the sin eater of medieval times whose task it was to consume a huge meal laid upon a corpse that he might take the person's sins into himself and free that particular soul for heaven.  In the same way the clergyman, by leading the flock of his congregation onward in deception, takes the responsibility for their being led astray upon himself.  He is well trained to do this at the seminary of his choice where he receives his training regarding the corporation of the church and learns how to tell its lies to those that pay their money to listen.  He is well trained so as not to rock the boat whether it be the local church or the higher judicatories of the corporation, and is led to believe that he actually has been given the freedom to interpret the Holy Writ to the sheep that sit before him, though of course this must be done in accordance with the "acceptable standards" so as not to disturb either the faithful or the corporation. 

     In this way it can be seen that his seminary education becomes that period of his "career" in which he is spoon fed on the sins of the sin-eaters that have gone before him so that he may learn the proper way of presenting the corporate advertising to the congregation.  It is not pleasant to ponder what ultimately becomes of all these sin-eaters, though if ignorance is an allowable excuse then at least some of them may find slight hope.  As I sat in the student's lounge of the seminary (the students must be made comfortable) I overheard a professor speaking to two of his students, telling them that though of course it was ridiculous for an intelligent 20th century person to take literally such concepts as resurrection and incarnation one must, however, continue to use this "symbol structure" within the church, since the people have come to expect it and become uncomfortable when such things are denied from the pulpit.  Later, in the elevator, when I asked this grinning "witness" by way of greeting how he was, he informed me that he was, "Still fighting the good fight."  One can only hope that such a one as this is the way he is out of ignorance and not by conviction.

    What is evidenced by this kind of behavior and language is the fact that there is no room within the confines of academia or the organized church for any kind of god other than the retired shopkeeper that has entrusted the management of the family business to his board of directors while he vacations at his villa in the Bahamas.  What this God wants is for the business of the church to run smoothly in his absence so that he can enjoy himself and not have to worry about how things are being managed.  The way that those in charge of the business perceive the matter is that this old God, having grown very tired after all those escapes with ancient Israel in the Old Testament, sent his son along so that the faith would be provided with a new young and dynamic corporate image.   The son, in the early days, had some pretty wild ideas but it was an easy matter to listen to him politely then restrict him to the role of smiling buffoon, beckoning one and all to "buy our Sunday School," or "buy our potluck dinners."  The board of directors were delighted! "It must truly be the Holy Spirit at work!" they exclaimed as they counted the dollars which piled up higher and higher each week. 

     Sometimes, perhaps in the evening by the fire, the executive may open the New Testament and, even after checking to see if he is reading "Q" or an independent source, he may marvel at the teachings of the Son.  "Some interesting ideas here," he may think as he draws on his pipe, "Too bad these things are bad for business."  He may even go so far as to wonder if perhaps some of these things should be presented to the congregation even given the fact that some of the gentler souls would find it upsetting.  He could relate some of these things (those that proved no threat to the corporation of course) to the plight of the poor General Motors executives that sit before him every week to make sure they get the proper credit on their taxes.   He finally decides against such a wild plan.  "I'll tell them that we are all little flowers in God's great garden and that Christ is the gardener that comes around and sprinkles us all with the living water."  He decides and so retires, warm at heart over both his cleverness and his service to his God.

    While it is obvious that a God such as this is extremely convenient when it comes to  matters of avoiding the responsibilities of the New Testament faith, it is equally obvious that he creates problems in terms of deciding what kind of image the corporate church will present to its stock holders and the public at large.  For this reason it has become necessary to invest heavily in the study of the faith in terms of theology, history, ethics, etc..  Through the study of theology the leaders of the corporate church are able to demonstrate that the aberrations that they practice (in the name of Christianity) are in reality the "will of God", and in view of this they proceed to instruct the would be "proclaimers of the Word" in the same farcical studies.  And here we see only one approach that is employed when the stance of organized Christianity stands against that of New Testament Christianity. 

     The approach that is the most ludicrous is also that which can be one of the most effective in assuring that the truth of Scriptures is eternally overlooked in favor of the more capitalistic functioning of the church.  More important than the words of Jesus or the responsibilities of the church that bears his name as it is seen in Acts and the letters of Paul is the practice of Biblical criticism:  "Look here," says the scholar, "This is the famous 'Q' source!  And over here we have an obvious later redaction to the text!"  What good sport!  Now we know all about what the Bible means scientifically!  Later on we will study it as myth and story in our theology class and then we will know all about that!  After that we will study it in our ethics class and learn how to make God run around in circles and fetch the stick while we pat ourselves on the back for not persecuting Negroes and for "affirming" homosexuals by allowing them to 'witness to the truth' just like we normal 'Christians' do!  How wonderful are we for spending all of our precious time involved in learning these invaluable skills!  We must learn all about Canaanites and Moabites and Jebusites and Hittites and Amorites and of this tribe here and that one there, for such is the information that we will need as we go about our 'call' to proclaim the kingdom of God.  Yes, it is no doubt that the liberal protestant seminaries turn out the most proficient Sunday School teachers in all of Christendom!"

    How to reach these poor souls that have deluded themselves into believing that knowledge is an entity that is a by-product of education?  How to tell them that the gods that they worship are of the temporal and earthly realm, while they One they have claimed to serve all these many years has stood all the time just one step out of their grasp, unable to be bought and able to respond only to their love.  And so they heap their riches ever higher, building the walls around them ever stronger, ever higher, till they blot out what little light is still able to pick its way through the gaps in the stones.  And yet their cross-topped ziggurats stretch ever higher into the sky, and the stack of bills on their money changer's tables grows ever deeper, and as they stand and proclaim their hollowed-out truths (and many outright lies) they are always very careful never to turn around and so continually have been fortunate to avoid staring down into the jaws of the yawning abyss that snaps ever closer at their heels.



God
    




This God of Theirs




By Philip D. Ropp


November, 1977


In those days (so long remembered)
Days of old (now long forgotten)
When glory brimmed the cups of men,
And evening came in scarlet splendor
As the sun slipped 'neath the trees.

Round the fire in the night-time
With the dogs asleep and fed
Tales of old rang through the treetops
And the children (wide eyed)
Heard the stories of their God
And of the men He called His own.


     Years ago, before the all important studies of science and theology taught us to believe that there was nothing in existence that wasn't right before our very noses, man believed in God.  And he believed that this God was the all-powerful ruler of the universe and the entire cosmos; by His very nature and power an entity  that was to be loved, respected and feared for the grasp that He had upon the frail and arrogant little creatures that he had created. 
     
     And man sought to pay homage to this great and almighty being by offering Him dead and burned animals, and he called upon the name of this God to fight his battles for him and to bless him with children and to make his fields fertile so that he might always have enough food to eat and a warm place to lie his head when the cold and mystery of the night would draw upon him.  And this God would help His people by talking to them from burning bushes and by parting great bodies of water that they might cross them and escape their enemies.  And He would wreak great vengeance upon the enemies of His people.  He would kill them by the thousands and He would give them over as slaves to the people that called Him their own, and they would stand upon the hill-tops and stick out their tongues and call to their enemies,  "Our God is greater than your god", and they would go back to their altars and offer up more dead animals.

    And then there were wise men that arose and walked among the people because this God of theirs instructed them to do so.  And these men cried aloud to the people, "Our God is the God of all men, and He is a God that is just.  The evil must be punished while the good shall be exalted.  And His wrath against those whose love of Him is false shall be the horrors of all eternity, and they shall writhe and scream and never find even the peace of the grave.  Do not mistreat your neighbor and keep His commandments always, for this God of ours is the King of the Heavens both now and forever."  But the people did not heed the words of the wise men and their tribulation grew and they were battered around and beaten by evil men and they called upon their God to save them and He answered them no more.

    The one day there arose a group of men that fancied themselves to be great holy men and they said to all that would listen, "If we want this God of ours to return to us and save us from these awful times then we must follow to the last degree all of the laws that He has written for us."  And so these men picked out all of the silly little laws that they could make up out of the Holy Writings of the Ancient of Days and they followed them so closely that they had no occasion to take their noses out of their books and look at the world around them.  And things grew worse and not better for all but the holy men, who grew rich by telling others what to do and who grew very evil in their abuse of the God that they claimed to represent.  And so it came to pass that in those days there were no holy men of God to be found within the land.  There were those who held the name of God aloft as a banner and battled under His name and there were, of course, the false holy men that grew fat while those that they led died all around them, but there were no holy men.  And many knew this to be the time when the Holy One of God Himself would come and lead them in righteousness and valor, and, oh, what a great and glorious king he would be.

    And the God of all eternity took note of what was happening in His world below, and He saw His people and of how far away from Him they had strayed, and His heart was moved to great pity, for since the beginning of their time they had failed to see that they held their own salvation right within themselves.  He had blessed them with the ability to love and He asked them from the beginning merely to love each other and to love and follow Him, and if they would do this He would promise them justice and a new place in the paradise that they had forfeited in the very beginning.  Yet further and further had they strayed from Him until the world had become so evil that there was no hope for them to ever find their way back to Him.  "I must prove to them once and for all how great my love for them is," He said.   And one night, tucked away securely within the gentle arms of lore and legend, something wonderful happened.  The skies were alight with the brilliance of eternity and there was singing that night as there never had been before or ever would be again.  Wonder of wonders,  miracle of miracles, God himself lie asleep in a cattle stall.  The Ancient of Days, the Almighty from everlasting to everlasting cried quietly in His mother's arms, a mere few pounds of soft pink flesh, on that night of all nights, the night that holds a special kind of magic for all down to this very day.  No more would it be necessary to ponder the love of this God for His people, for when justice called for them to be destroyed, He instead stepped down from His throne to lie in a manger so that He might save them from themselves and the Evil One they followed.

    And so it came to pass that this God of theirs grew to be a man and walked among them as a brother, and He beckoned them to follow His Truth that they might be saved from the ravages of the Evil One that tempted them with his nasty games and wicked traps.  And He worked His miracles right before their wondering eyes, causing many to exclaim, "Truly this is the Holy One of God Himself!"   Yet the holy men refused to believe because  it would have cost them their riches and their fancy robes and the praises of men.  So they mocked this very God  of theirs, even as He walked among them and tried to teach them of His Truth, and they made plans to kill Him and enlisted the services of the evil men that kept them in their riches so that they in turn would keep the people that the evil men mistreated under control.  And they took this God of theirs and they hung Him on a cross, and they tortured Him and drove nails through His hands and feet and mocked Him and cursed Him and gambled for His clothing.  And such was the love of this God of theirs that He begged that they be forgiven, for by their evil natures they knew no better.  And this God of theirs died upon that cross, and He was taken away by the few of His followers that remained, and the evil men sealed Him into the ground that he might trouble them no more.

    This blackest of days passed.  And then another.  And on the third day the evil men were much disturbed by the reports that they had heard, for the followers of this God of theirs were claiming that He lived, that He had kicked the stone away from the door of His tomb and that He lived - just as He always had and always would.  And His followers spread the word to all that would listen to their story, and they told of the miracle of the God that had loved them so much as to even die for them, and in His honor and to His glory they dedicated their new family of followers, calling themselves "the Church."  And they were put to death by the evil men for their belief in this God of theirs, and yet their deaths did not destroy them but made them stronger, for they knew that their God held dominion even over death and that their deaths were victories in His name.

    But one day the evil men ceased to persecute the Church, and the Church itself became the head of the government that the evil men built, and the Church itself turned its back on this God of theirs and became as the false holy men of old, with their silly laws and accepting of riches and great praise from men.  And the Church became "Christendom", and the world of Christendom grew very dark and very evil, and though there were occasional "reformations" here and there, time and again, the path of Christendom continued to lead those that followed it away from the truth that had been proclaimed by that God of theirs. 

     There arose men that called themselves "theologians" and "scholars" and they made this God the subject of many great theories and they drew many grand conclusions and argued continually over contrived points that had no bearing on anything, and this they continue down to this very hour. 

     And new false holy men then turned Christendom into a great and glorious enterprise and went to work for this business that they dedicated to the name of this God of theirs, and they worry no more about this God, for the theologians and scholars have convinced them that He actually died a few years ago, and that He no longer is the problem that He once was to them and that they may keep their riches and gather the praises of men as they always have, for there is no sense in being paranoid of an empty heaven. 

     And the churchmen, the agents of Christendom, have contrived new and silly laws from the ancient writings as did the holy men of old, and again the world has grown very evil and there are no holy men of God to be found within the land, and the false holy men are growing fatter while those they claim they want to save die all around them. 

     And still there are a few that remain that look at the signs of the times and they say among themselves,  "Shortly it will be the time again when the Holy One of God Himself will come and lead us in righteousness and valor."  And the false holy men of today laugh and scoff and make fun of this kind of talk, and they call the believers "fundies" and they avoid them as if they carried the plague instead of the Truth of this God of theirs.  And those that read the signs of the times tremble at what they see happening all around them, and they quake at the prospect of what is to come, for this God of theirs has come once to prove to all  the great and everlasting love that He holds for those that would but follow Him, and when He left to resume His place in eternity He promised them that He would one day return to them. 

     And it has been written from long ages past that when this God of theirs returns it will not merely be to prove His love, bu to establish the reign of His justice upon the earth.  And to be sure, these times will be anything but pleasant for those that have led the multitudes astray and have spat in the face of this God of theirs.



Atomic Church
    



Gentlemen,
All is Not Well



By Philip D. Ropp


November, 1977


"So when you see the desolating sacrilege spoken of by the prophet Daniel,  standing in the holy place (let the reader understand), then let those who are in Judea flee to the mountains: let him who is on the housetop not go down take what is in his house; and let him who is in the field not turn back to take his mantle.  And alas for those who give suck in those days!  Pray that your flight may not be in winter or on a sabbath.  For then there will be great tribulation, such as has not been from the beginning of the world until now, no, and never will be.  And if those days had not been shortened, no human being would be saved ..."

 Matthew 24:15-22b


    It is most definitely within the realm of great understatement to claim that these are indeed strange times in which we find ourselves living.  My grandparents lived in a time when the telephone was a rare oddity, and could easily remember the advent of such things as automobiles, the radio, electricity, airplanes, various modes of "modern" warfare, and much, much more.  One summer's night in July of 1969, my grandmother told us the story of the time she saw her first automobile; of how awestricken and mystified she and her friends had been as the rattly-little contraption came chugging and wobbling down the road on its wooden carriage wheels, bearing the local doctor enroute to a house-call at a nearby farm.  The next afternoon, we all sat together and watched Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin cavort around on the surface of the moon.  I have often wondered at the thoughts that must have been passing through that old lady's head as she sat there encompassing the history of aviation from Kitty Hawk to the moon - a witness in her own lifetime to all of it. 

    Not too many years ago, there was great commotion about the so-called "generation gap" that existed between my generation and that of my parents.  The main instigation in this turmoil was, of course, the varying interpretations that existed concerning the Viet Nam war and the moral role of the United States within it.  To the older "World War II" generation the matter seemed to be centered around the lack of patriotic zeal and sense of duty to country that characterized the younger generation.  To the younger generation the matter was not so much the highly touted political idealism that was presented as it was the simple and horrifying feeling that our parents would rather see us dead than admit that their precious government had made a mistake.  Fault is not to be attached to either side in this matter.

     The issue of the war was not the pacifistic youth versus the warmongering older generation, but rather that each of these generations had grown up in totally different worlds.   For the younger generation the difference was growing up in a world that had gained possession of perhaps the two most frightening and powerful devices ever conceived by the human mid: television, the ultimate propaganda machine, and the atomic bomb, the ultimate tool of destruction.  The older generation had grown up in a world where warfare still consisted of killing one man at a time, where battles were won by bravery and valor and where in the last reel, with the job well done and the powerful enemy checked, the uniformed hero would lay down his gun and embrace the sweetheart that waited for him on the dock, while everyone danced and threw confetti in Times Square. 

     World War II was the last great adventure of Western man, for at its end the reality of the new and awesome Super Weapon would change the world forever.  Here was an event that far surpasses in importance such long accepted milestones as the Agricultural and Industrial Revolutions, for at Hiroshima and Nagasaki it became evident that man was now capable of wiping his own kind from the face of the planet.  The monstrous fire breathing dragon of the apocalypse raised its head above the horizon and made it plain what a mere puff of his breath could do, and from that time on, though we have tried to convince ourselves that it just isn't true, the fact has rested within the minds of all of us that it is just a matter of time now before the earth becomes nothing more than a mushroom cloud floating around in space.  Even the great ace-in-the-hole escape plan known as the Space Program is of little interest to us now, for it is clearly an example of too little too late. 

     It is this world of push button total destruction that spawned my generation, for we grew up knowing that at any possible second the earth might be subjected to the final great holocaust.  In the 1960's many fought hard to change this terrifying state of affairs.  Now most have given up and are awaiting what is to come in as comfortable a manner as possible.  The long haired radicals of a decade ago (yes, it has been that long) have cut their hair and now strut bedecked in their very stylish three-piece suits, driving their imitation wood flanked station wagons to their lovely homes in the suburbs, where the little woman waits with a cold martini, the evening paper, and a full report on the kids' latest journey to the dentist. 

     On Sundays, due to the force of habit and generous tax breaks, they adorn themselves in all their finery and drive to their favorite "house of worship" where they draw together with their peers and pray to the od that they follow that he might keep them psychologically well-balanced and protect their financial interests.  The man they go to hear is well trained in telling them just exactly what they want to be told because he has gone to seminary and he has been taught by the instructors of the church that the two things in life that really matter are money and feeling good, and that business must always come before religion if one wishes to be "successful".  Yes, the generation gap has been closed.  The "World War II" generation and the "Viet Nam" generation have been reconciled by the one force that is common to both: greed.  The great and all-American god known as the dollar now rules supreme.  The number of these idols that a person is able to accumulate is taken as a measure of his success as a human being.

     "We deserve professional level salaries", say the churchmen, "Because we are well educated.  We have worked hard to get where we are and we demand to be paid accordingly."  This makes perfect sense to the members of their congregations, since this is precisely how things are in the "secular world," and so both are content to sit and count their dollars while the rest of the world cries out in agony all around them.  "Too bad about the suffering in the world," they all say among themselves, "But after we have taken our share there just isn't enough to do much good." 

     For old and young alike the dollar has become the great opiate.  It keeps them secure and deadens their senses to the abominations that continue to plague this old and very sick world of ours.  Each night they sit in front of the shrine that contains the magic glowing tube and they  are shown (in full color) the wars and told of the rumors of wars.  They see in all of their hideous glory the four horsemen of the apocalypse as they prance and spread their fornication from one end of the globe to the other, and they see children starving and men dying, and they see their elected "representatives" bribing and being bribed, and the people on their city streets killing and being killed, and when it is finished they sit at their dining room tables and gorge themselves on the rich foods that they have bought with their precious dollars.  And when they are sated, they move back to their places in front of the hypnotic screen and are absorbed into the make-believe world of beautiful women, righteous cops, and an occasional song and dance.  Outside in the street there is a shot, a scream, and the sound of a falling body, followed shortly by screaming sirens.  Does anyone move to see what has happened or if they can be of help?  No.  "Why bother?" they say, "We can find out all about it tomorrow at six, and there will be film at eleven!"

    To be sure, all is not well.  The tribulations that have plagued the world since the beginning of history are with us now and are growing ever more ominous by the day.  Famine and pestilence ravage vast areas and droughts threaten great regions with the horrifying prospect of even more hunger and disease.  Add to these time honored horrors the modern world's ability to overpopulate and pollute and it is obvious that the current situation is indeed most serious - and this is not even taking into account the ever present reality of the nuclear holocaust that lies behind the simple push of an innocent looking button. 

     Yes, the threat and potential of widespread disaster has never been greater than it is at this very moment.  And yet the most terrifying threat of all is not that of widespread famine or disease, or of the collapse of Western society pending the depletion of oil reserves, or of the daily threat of nuclear eschaton, but rather the attitude that prevails within this culture of ours. 

     As in the old fable, we have become like the grasshopper that sings and dances in the face of the oncoming winter, while the ant scampers around and prepares for the hard times ahead.  When the snows and the great cold come the ant is snug and well fed within his earthen sanctuary, while the grasshopper starves and freezes in the cold. 

     Even a casual glance at the condition of the world shows that there are indeed dire times ahead, and yet when this fact is mentioned the reaction is,  "Now, now, don't go playing the prophet of doom to us.  We'll think of something just as we always have."  In the meanwhile it is, "On with the game and damn the consequences!"  It is one thing to stand robed and bearded complete with placard in hand and shout, "Repent, the end is near!"  It is quite another to simply gaze at the horizon and observe the storm that has been gathering force and moving closer, while the clouds that it bears grow ever darker and ever more terrifying in their power.  And still the grasshoppers sing and dance and scurry around as if there were no tomorrow, the irony of their situation being that this is a distinct possibility.  "If we're damned we're damned,"  they say calmly and with a shrug.  "Eat, drink, and be merry," they cry, yet they refuse to finish the sentence, "for tomorrow we die."

    So the grasshoppers gather on Sundays for what they call "the worship of God" and they listen as another grasshopper, trained especially for the task, stands before them and extols the false virtues that he has been taught at his seminary.  He tells them that all will be well as long as their pledges are maintained and he uses his knowledge of psychology to convince them that the role of the church in their lives is to make them feel warm and secure in a world that is on the verge of coming down around their ears.  The Scriptures are used sparingly so as not to confuse anyone as to the purpose of the church, and the few that still read the words of Jesus and take heart in their promise are merely endured as the ever present "fundies" that though naive, do at least mean well.  

     And as all of this foolishness goes on they ignore the warnings of the prophets that spoke of a much earlier time in which the people of God turned their backs on Him and faced the consequences.  And they ignore the symbolism of the apocalypse and shrug it off as applying only to the supposedly long dead Roman Empire, ignoring the fact that they themselves are the children of Rome and will bear her curse if they continue in her ways.  

     Long ago they were warned by the man that they mockingly call "Master" of the tribulations that come as a thief comes in the night, and as they sit in their seminaries and chuckle and say, "Well now, I wonder what he could have meant," the thief is already at the window, prying at the sash and picking at the lock, and they stand not ready to drive him away, but rather hold out their arms and welcome him into their presence.  The blinding flash of the lightening and the deafening crash of the thunder of the tempest that looms tar-black on the horizon grow ever more prominent as they move closer and closer to shattering the false peace that has lulled the grasshoppers into believing that all is well and will continue always to be so.  They turn against the teachings of the man they outwardly hold to be the Son of God Himself, and when they read of the consequences for their actions they merely laugh and say "Oh, that has nothing to do with us, if that was going to happen it would have happened long ago.  Why, we are good Christians.  Our pastor makes more money now than every, and we always pay our pledge on time." 

     And yet the horrors foretold from ages passed howl and screech outside their door, waiting only that the time may be fulfilled that they may be loosed to hurl their vengeance against the fools that have unwittingly invited them into their parlor.  The dark and cold of the Great Winter grow ever nearer and yet the foolish grasshoppers continue to pipe and dance as if the future held nothing but endless days of feasting and good fortune.

    And the scholars, enraged by this kind of flippancy, stand confident with their well researched theories as to why this or that is not the way that it is written, and they are certain that they can "prove" that these events will not transpire because their critical histories and their exegesis tells them that this is so.   Yet even the casual onlooker need only glance around at his world to realize that all of these wonderful theories will do them no good when the tribulation is upon them.  What will these men of learning do in those days?  Will they stand amid the catastrophic climax to the age and speak of why it is impossible for these things to be happening?  This prospect is not as unlikely as it seems, for already the signs are upon us and this is precisely what they are doing.




Bible page
    
The
Abuse
Of
Scripture


By Philip D. Ropp


November, 1977


Do not imagine that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets.  I have come not to abolish but to complete them.  I tell you solemnly, till heaven and earth disappear, not one dot, not one little stroke, shall disappear from the Law until its purpose is achieved.  Therefore, the man who infringes even one of the least of these commandments and teaches others to do the same will be considered the least in the kingdom of heaven.

Matthew 5: 17-19

     The Bible, that curious old relic that is employed by the church executive as a means of "sermon illustration" and is made the subject of great study by those of great learning, is by and away the most mistreated of all the literature that claims to be Holy Writ.  No other religion has turned as blatantly against the teachings of its faith than has the tradition that calls itself by the name of Christ.  The scholars, supposed "experts" in the understanding of the Scriptures, sit for hour upon hour with their pens poised as blunt scalpels, carving up this passage and dissecting that passage in the vain attempt to gain more knowledge of what is written.  They cram their heads so full of esoteric bits of gibberish that the beauty and truth of the message of the text that they exhume is completely lost to them.  Does it matter that elements of the creation story can be traced back into old Mesopotamian mythologies, or that the story of Noah and the Ark appears nearly verbatim in the Old Babylonian account of the Epic of Gilgamish?  Is it not more important to look at what these stories have to say to human life down to this very day?  In the first, the newly born human race spits in the eye of the Creator that had set them up in paradise, forcing Him to cast them from His sight, while in the second this evilness has possessed them to such great extent that the Lord must destroy the very fruit of His creation, for their wickedness has consumed them in the passion for the forbidden.  Must one know of J, E, P and D sources or of exegesis or of hermeneutics to understand these stories?  One would think not. 

     If one would seek to understand the nature of these works, he need only look at the world around him, for day after day, hour after hour, minute after minute, these are the themes - the games - by which the men of today live their lives.  Sodom and Gomorrah were never destroyed for their spirit lives on and if anything has multiplied itself in the hearts and minds of men.  It is this catastrophic disease of the human condition that the Bible speaks to.  It shows the depths  of despair and deprivation that man, through his lust for the evil and licentious, will inevitably sink to, and at the same time it provides his final hope in the mysterious and awesome figure of the Christ.  In the Bible, we see a mirror of ourselves and what we really are - a picture so  unpleasant that those who go about the task of its interpretation do so by exalting the mundane and by submerging its important truths in double talk about worthless half-baked theories.  The world screams out from its death-bed for the truth, justice, and hope that is contained within the pages of this great work, while the wise men that have been hired to tell them what it means parade about their adornments and speak only of those things that will keep the green idols that they worships flowing into their pockets.  They dare not face the truth of God in written, concrete form, for the days of picking up the cross of the Master and following the difficult path of His footsteps have long since passed. 

     The church that calls itself by the name of Christ has nothing whatsoever in common with the ragged little group of followers that stood erect in the face of death with the light of eternity gleaming in their eyes.  Today we have a bizarre and twisted Camelot that basks in the glories of the mundane and the earthly while it takes its own pearl of greatest price, the promise of the Scripture, and tramples it underfoot.  The sad, sad imitation that stands as descendent of the faith of the Apostles follows not the teachings of Jesus, but rather stands at the foot of His cross, mocking and casting lots for His garments.  The truth that is the way of the Christ is not easy to follow.  How easy it has been for such a long, long time now to ignore what He really is and to make of Him what they will.

    What, then, is the nature of the Bible?  It is the story of man's existence upon the earth; of his history long struggle with the powers of darkness and of his desperate groping to find his way back into the light.  It is a story that begins with man's coming to awareness of who he is and ends with his final destruction.  It is a story of great evil and greater goodness that stretches from the beginning to the ceasing of time.  It is a story that begins in paradise with the greatest struggle of all time played out upon the rugged and seemingly Godless terrain of the wilderness, and it is a story that tells of the God of love who himself steps down from the very throne of the Cosmos to lead those that are still able to understand His truth onward in the unceasing quest to recover the lost paradise.   It is a story that chronicles the ongoing struggle between the forces of good and evil and speaks both to that which is and that which is beyond.  It is the story of all stories, for it is as old as creation itself yet begins anew with each rising of the sun.

      It is not merely the story of a people, but of all people and of a God of all people.  It tells of the great paradox of this existence of ours, wherein the God of the Cosmos is born among cattle as a few pounds of wriggling pink flesh and dies at the hands of His own creatures simply for trying to proclaim the truth of their own evil natures.  And most of all, it is the story of a time when the truth of all eternity walked among us as a brother, and of how He was tortured, killed, and sealed forever into the earth, only to kick the stone away from the door of His tomb and walk triumphantly out into the crisp morning air of that first Easter, wrapped not in a tattered shroud but in the brilliant light of all eternity.  And as the disciples of Jesus whispered in awe to themselves on that most glorious of mornings so do those that still discover the magic of that moment down to this day, saying simply, "It is the Lord."

    How has it come to pass that those who claim to be the spokesmen for the faith that bears the name of Christ are also those that pay no heed to His words?  They have constructed for themselves a facade and have attached to it the name "Christianity;" yet it is a poor facade for their roles show clearly that the disillusioned membership is leaving the church.  "It is the times," they say by way of excuse, "Now we must entertain them to keep our pews full so that the collections will pay for our salaries and our homes."  And so they hang up posters with cartoons on them, and they read psychology books that tell them that the most important thing in life is simply to feel good all of the time.  They talk of a God that means nothing to them save that they make their living by lying in His name, and they parade around as men of great prestige, holding their heads high and praying aloud in public.  They love to wear the long, black, and expensive robes of the executive-priest before the gathered masses and to bray their blessings upon the snoring flock, and this they do in full confidence that this is all there is to the matter of being Christian.  And though they are alarmed by the exodus of the people from the churches, they are relieved to note that the wealthy and the foolish still remain, the wealthy because they pay the salaries and expenses in the name of the great angel of the God of nothing known as the "tax write-off," and the foolish because these poor souls are unable to see through the abomination that goes on all around them.  These great men of learning actually have the gall to stand up and speak the words of Jesus and behave as if they are the experts on the subjects of His teachings, and yet they fail to see the words that He has leveled directly at them. 

     The Pharisees are by no means merely an obscure sect locked away within the annals of ancient Judaism, for they are in evidence all around us.  If they have not turned the temple of the church of Christ into a robbers' den, they have at least turned it into a corporation, and in either case it is profiteering in the name of Christ.  And yet they can still find it within themselves to stand before their congregations and read the words of Jesus as if they themselves were anything but guilty of the aberrations that He denounces.  It is certainly no stretch of the imagination to see that if Jesus were to appear some Sunday within one of these dens of foolishness that He would most likely fashion a whip of cords and drive out the participants in this farcical charade.  And when this were done it would also be most likely that today's chief priests and scribes would respond as did those in the temple of Jerusalem - with shock and indignation.  And as with those Pharisees of long ago so it is with those of the "Christian" variety today:
            
They bind heavy burdens hard to bear, and lay them on men's shoulders; but they themselves will not move them with their finger.  They do all their deeds to be seen by men; for they make their phylacteries broad and their fringes long, and they love the place of honor at feasts and  the best seats in the synagogues, and salutations in the market places, and being called rabbi by men.

Matthew 23:4-7
          
And so too does the warning that Jesus goes on to present to his followers and disciples ring true to those that would follow His teachings down to this very day:

But you are not to be called rabbi, for you have one teacher and you are all brethren.  And call no man your father on earth, for you have one Father, who is in heaven.  Neither be called master, the Christ.  He who is greatest among you shall be your servant; whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted.

Matthew 23:8-12
           
     And so today the Pharisees of the church adorn themselves with the broad phylacteries and long fringes of their clerical garb and so too do they have their committees and make their grandiose decisions so that they may win great favor in the eyes of men.  And they sit in the seats of honor at the potluck feast of fools that they hold so that the sheep that they lovingly lead away from the light may have even more opportunity to hear the precious wisdom that they spout behind their foolish grins. And they stand at the place of the greatest honor within their own personal synagogues so that all may sit before them and marvel at the great nothingness that rolls off of their tongues with the greatest of eloquence.  Week after week they stand at the back of their sanctuaries after the gathered have ceased their snoring and puff up as great toads as the hapless sheep pass by and heap their laud and honor upon them; yet this they do while loudly proclaiming the name of Christ and claiming themselves to be the harbinger of His message.  The words of Jesus in His lament over Jerusalem echo ever louder through the great stone chambers of the idolatrous temples that stand in His name:
           
O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, killing the prophets and stoning those who are sent to you!  How often would I have gathered your children together as a hen gathers her brood under her wings, and you would not!  Behold, your house is forsaken and desolate.  For I tell you, you will not see me again, until you say, 'Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord'.

Matthew 23: 37-39

    What is to be done?  How can this situation be righted when in this world of ours even those that would have all believe that they are the true spokesmen of the living God instead fall prostrate before the dollar sign, the symbol of the great God of nothing?  Is it possible to convince a soul of the true wisdom that is to be found in living in the world but not being of it when being in it is so deceptively comfortable? 

     It is all illusion, for the material wonders of this life, as do the fragile pieces of flesh and blood that we occupy for this short time, are destined to return to the dust from whence they have come.  Higher and higher men have piled their ill-gotten treasures, using them to build insurmountable walls between themselves and the truth, so that now they make the truth precisely what they need it to be so that they may clutch more tightly the foolish material toys that they have cheated, lied, and stolen for.  The prophetic cry for justice has grown to an ear piercing scream and still the "men of God" retreat even farther into their suburban paradise, well fed and growing fatter while the children of God the world over lie night after night on hunger bloated stomachs and scream themselves to sleep.  The church that stands in the name of Christ gives these pillars of dignity and community virtue new automobiles and lovely homes in which to live and pays them "professional level" salaries for telling them the lies that allow them to grow ever more prosperous while the faith that they profess, laid out before them in black and white, is made the subject of mockery.  It speaks to them of devils and they laugh, for they no longer even believe in its God.  It speaks to them of justice and so they hold rummage sales and give money to the Salvation Army so that they need not foul their lovely edifice with the rabble that are the children of the man that they (in their lighter moments) call "Master."  It speaks to them of truth and they choose instead to invent their own because the silver tea service has become tarnished and buying a new one is more important that putting rice and milk into the stomachs of starving children. 

     The Christ of their forgotten Scriptures stares at them from the eyes of the trembling wino that is pushed aside as he begs their coins at the bus-stop, and from the empty faces that crowd behind the bars of every prison in the world, and from the eyes of every soul that hungers, thirsts, or is in pain.  They half-heartedly call upon His name to save them and they sing his praises in either psuedo-somber monotones or foolishly contrived folk music, and all the time they are lining up and taking turns at driving the nails ever deeper into His battered flesh. 

     They no longer believe in any kind of judgment, for the God of nothing stands at the eternal door with the flaming sword of judgment, but with a tarnished bag of gold, beckoning them not to enter but to stay where they are and to eat, drink, and be merry, for he teaches them that there is nothing ahead but endless days of false good cheer.  And on the other side of the eternal door, the door of narrow passage where many may knock but few enter, the one Truth of all eternity stands issuing the call to truth and justice that He has proclaimed for lo these many ages, and yet His simple call falls upon ears that have been deafened by the blaring horns and blasting trumpets of the earthly revelry which has deadened their sense to any feeling but their own. 

     Yet it has been written and proclaimed from ages passed  that all must one day stand before the throne of their Creator and make account for their misdeeds.  The blissful escape of sleep within the grave that the God of nothing has convinced them of is not to be, for it too is an illusion as surely as the earthly powers are with which he have tempted and perverted them.  And on that Last Great Day of Days, when the humble are exalted, the few that have made themselves as children will stand proudly along side of their God of Truth and mourn with Him over the loss of the great multitudes.  And those that have skipped so carelessly after the much beloved God of nothing, with their arrogant and haughty demeanor, will find that this God of theirs is all too real, and he will stand before them and shriek in laughter at the foolish choices that they have made.  And a tear will drop from the eye of the Christ as He beholds His fallen children and recites to them His words of long ago:  " 'We piped and you did not dance; we wailed and you did not mourn.' " ( Matthew 11:17)

    "Well now", say the churchmen and the academicians, "What kind of foolishness is this?  Have we not made these things the subject of great and in-depth study?  Have we not proven with our theologies and histories that these kinds of images are merely the work of primitive minds, that there is but one means of understanding this world of ours and that is with the five sense?  Are we to endure young fools with high-stepping ideas that paint such ridiculous portraits of words and prose with no scientific "facts" to back up what they say?  Why, our experience of the deity must be mediated through the corruption and filth that has become the human condition.  Revelation has not occurred for thousands of years, and at that it most certainly must have a rational explanation, just as such primitive concepts as resurrection and incarnation came about because the poor, dear fools of the time had not the great knowledge that we so smugly possess.  Theology, yes theology, is the answer today!  Look what we can do with our theology!  Up, God, through the hoop!  Now roll over and play dead!  What fun!  This is surely how we will solve all the problems of this nasty old world." 

     And yet the world they are saving sinks more into decay and depravation each day, while they design their paltry little social programs and call them "mission" so that the rich can sleep at night, well-fed in a starving world.  They delude themselves with biased statistics into thinking that things are getting better when it is a fact that more people will starve in this world this year than did last.  They take up offerings of coins and use it to buy gruel to feed a handful of starving children then stuff themselves to the point of bursting on foods so rich that they destroy their hearts and put them in early graves.  And this great theology of theirs tells them that this is all right -- not ideal to be sure -- but all right, when in reality this great theology of theirs has become nothing more than an illusionary scapegoat, leading all that follow its foolishly contrived claptrap farther and farther away from the light that to this day shines forth as a beacon from the ancient writings of the Christian faith.  

     Yes, that which calls itself Christianity finds itself in a most sorry state, a state which does indeed appear quite hopeless.



Babylon
    
The
Census
Of
Babylon


By Philip D. Ropp


November, 1977


Promiscuous tags and liberal lip I hate,
That gutter currency that swamps the state
Where slaves who knock their masters down and clear
The till are certain of a great career.
I went there as the guest of liars, who
Would neither entertain nor let me go,
Liars for whose putrid frames death would not function
Unless equipped with a carbolic truncheon.

I saw the land an orchard, the foxes creeping
Between the crumbling walls and watchmen sleeping;
On grapes perennial the foxes thrive.
I saw what I hoped never to see alive,
The dog that fouled me pampered and well-fed
The niggard king in plumes, the good men dead.

I saw the cult of slaves, the rites imposed
On jailbirds by a eunuch in priest's clothes,
From which peeped out his servile origin:
The best dressed leper cannot change his skin.
A local proverb: when you buy your slave
Buy a stick too, and teach him to behave.

                                                                 Al-Mutanabbi

Some 60 years ago, in those glory days of World War I, my great uncle Leroy found that he too was to go under the conscription of the draft so as to be sent to kill a faceless enemy that was, in fact, of a similar ancestry to that from which he descended.  Distant family ties not withstanding, the basic stone that stuck in his gizzard was that of the realization that if he were to go to the army, he would be forced to become a cog in the wanton and evil machine of war.  He turned to his church (Congregational by variety) for a solution, hoping that they would reassure him that such abominations as warfare were contrary to the teachings of the faith that they professed, and instead was lectured severely concerning his "patriotic duty to God and country."

      Leroy, feeling that this argument was at serious variance to what he had read in his Bible, again made a check of the Scriptures.  He found that the position of the Biblical writers was very much his own.  After all, he would realize much later, this is where his loathing of war had come from in the first place.  Leroy, always much too intelligent and farsighted than is good for any man, stood upon the laurels of his faith and refused to go to the army.  He told them that he would instead take the position of "conscientious objector," a position not yet glorified as it was during the later abomination in Viet Nam. 

     "Outrageous!" cried the officialdom of the church, "How preposterous not to want to die for one's country!"

     The government would not hear of of Leroy becoming a conscientious objector; he had no valid reason not to want to go, save that of fearing hell if he should participate in the carnage, and the government surely could not allow one not to fight simply because the fighting was evil. 

     "He must be mad!" they all shouted, "Take him away at once and lock him up lest he infect others with this madness of his!"  And as they took Leroy away and locked him up in his cell in the madhouse, he noted with more than passing curiosity that the conscientious objector status that had been denied him due to his lack of killing ability was reserved instead for the clergymen that had insisted upon his madness. 

     It took Leroy 40 years of struggle within himself to realize that the madness that he had become involved in had never really been his own, but rather that of the spirit of "Babylon the Great," the great "Whore of the East" that manifests itself in the hearts of men and leads them on in their pursuit to call madness truth and truth madness.  Jesus of Nazareth proclaimed the truth and he was strung up for what the powers of the time called madness.  Nearly 19 centuries later, Adolph Hitler would proclaim madness, call it by the name of truth, and come within a cat's whisker of becoming emperor of the earth. 

     There is a spirit, a power among men that leads them to love madness as they love nothing else.  As with a rotten tooth, they run their tongues deliciously around the black hole in the decayed enamel and marvel at the wonderfully delirious feeling that sweeps through them.  The deeper and blacker the hole that they peer down into, the greater the thrill of it all.  The more stench that rises from the primordial pit of their existence the more covetously they protect their useless and filthy treasures.  In the beginning, they read in their Bibles, bound with the flesh of beasts, God lifted the creation out of chaos.  What they ignore is the fact that ever since that day man has done all in his power to crawl back into the murky waters from which he arose.  He has gone so far as to invent a piece of madness capable of blowing the entire earth into a near infinite number of pieces of rock and clay, and sits now with his finger upon the great red button, waiting as a child on Christmas Eve for just the right moment to come around so that he can most fully enjoy the last great catastrophe.  And yet when a soul flatly refuses to become a part of the madness he is merely laughed off as insane and put away, or, if he appears particularly threatening, he is put to death.

     Not immune and, in fact, one of the great allies of the power of madness within the world is the church that calls itself by the name of Christ and yet chooses to turn its back on his teachings so that it may lay up its considerable store of soiled treasures and ill-gotten material goods.   The church hangs ever more precariously over the great precipice than does the government, which at least claims to be no more than the self righteous invention of men, in that it holds itself to be representative of the One True God and the passer of His judgment upon all the dwellers of earth.  Like the fool that lights a match in a dynamite shack, the church holds up the flame of truth so that it might better read the book of the damned, and as it opens to the first page it finds not print upon paper but a mirror with it its own foolishly grinning face staring back up at it.

     "Well," the wise ones chuckle, "We don't know about all this.  Ah-ha!" they shout, "We have it!  More alms to the poor!  Just a little, you know, we do have the budget to think of.  Hallelujah!"  they call out to gathered masses, "We have saved the day!  Pass the loaf and the cup of crimson wonder!"

     And so they all sit in their self gratification and the book of the damned is made the subject of great study.  And meanwhile the flame of truth is locked away in the back of the closet along with the brooms, mops and the old silver communion set.  And it is forgotten, though its flame continues to burn as brightly as ever.  And those that would speak the truth to them are labeled mad and put away or scorned and laughed at as fools, for the clowns have captured the circus and through their antics have convinced the crowd that with their foolish tricks and treats they can create their own truth and that this truth is that their faith can serve them no greater purpose than to entertain them and keep them laughing as they pass through the great nothingness.  And yet at some point the show must close and the tent be taken down.

     Yet it may well be asked, "What becomes of the truth?"  And the answer is of course most obvious to one who would but look.  The truth shall always remain for it always has been.  Before the earthly, the temporal, and all that is false existed there was the truth, and after the earthly, the temporal, and all that is false cease their existence there will be the truth.  The truth exists not as a part of the universe that stretches out immeasurably before the infinitesimal human mind, but rather the truth  is that which takes its existence from that which is apart from and greater than the very universe itself.  Take the example of the tree.  It stands firmly rooted into the earth.  It has not eyes to see, nor ears to hear, nor nerves with which to feel, and yet when it knows the fresh warm breeze of the coming spring it senses the truth of the new season and knows to put its leaves out into the golden warmth of the sun.  And so stands man, with his consciousness as limited as that of the tree and yet the winds of truth blow upon him as well.

     But with man when he feels the breeze that is of truth he says at once, "A storm is up," and he runs inside for shelter, for he is afraid of the truth and what it may call upon him to do in its name.  And when the truth once made itself manifest among all men and said to them, " Lo, I am truth.  Come, follow me," the men responded by murdering the truth in hopes that it would cease to bother them and leave them alone, for there are many men who live by selling their lies to others and to follow the truth would cost them their dirty business.  The few followers of truth that still remained took the corpse of truth and hauled it away, and the killers of truth heaved a sigh of relief and sealed its broken body into the earth and went back to the task of peddling their lies. 

     All seemed well among the men that peddle lies until some days later the fanatical followers of the truth began rejoicing and crying up to the heavens, "The truth lives!  Both now and forever!"  And the peddlers of lies went to the place where they had sealed the truth into the earth.  And lo, they saw that truth was not where they had buried it and some were afraid.  But others among them reassured them, "Why fret over the god of fools?" they said.  "Does not our business go on as usual?"  For though truth had dwelt among them, they had seen it not.  And to be sure, business went on as usual.

      Very soon after this, those that called themselves the followers of the truth organized and decided to call themselves the church is honor of the truth.  And it was not long after this that the church forgot about the teachings of the truth and they became as the peddlers of lies, yet much worse because they peddle their lies in the name of the truth. 

     And so it is to this very day that when the the breeze that is the truth blows upon the church all of the members run inside and pull the shutters over the windows.  And they raise up idols in the name of the God of nothing and pray to them for protection, hoping that the truth will leave them alone so that they might be about their dirty business.  And they hire a puppet to stand in front of them with his arms around the God of nothing and reassure them that the truth will never make its way inside and threaten their dirty business.  And the church that stands in the name of the truth sets up training centers so that the puppets may be taught the proper things to say and do so that the truth  is never allowed inside and so that the props may always be made secure behind the God of nothing.  These dupes are taught to believe that the truth is merely a concept that is always relative to its place in history and to its culture, and that since all that they believe in is the God of nothing (whom they created for this express purpose) they can run around in circles and make the truth anything that they want it to be.  They have developed elaborate tools and named them such clever things as "Biblical criticism" and "hermeneutics," and by employing these tools with skill they can even convince themselves that they need have no fear, since the truth never really came back up out of the ground in the first place. 

     So they put on happy faces and tell each other that everything is just wonderful, and they skip and dance around the much beloved God of nothing, and they make up issues and solve them so that they feel a real importance in their existence. 

     But meanwhile, the truth stands shut outside in the cold, the spittle of the false witnesses running down his cheeks where it mixes with the tears that he sheds in silence and runs down his face to freeze on the hair of the beard of his chin.  And the warm breeze that he had tried to reach them with has risen to a howling gale and already it is banging the shutters and loosening the shingles, and the "witnesses to the truth" can hear none of the commotion above their own drunken singing and shrieks of laughter.  And the truth, along with the few of his ragged followers that remain, shuffling from foot to foot in the vain effort to keep warm, speaks quietly to those that blaspheme his name:  "You think that you are rid of me but you are wrong!  I will always be with you, lo, even to the end of the age.  Perhaps you will see me peering up through a greasy four day growth of beard over a bag clad bottle of muscatel.  Or on a street corner as a whore, battered by the pimp that has her strung out on heroin.  Or perhaps in the gaunt face of a child that starves and dies while you gorge yourselves on the stolen Feast of the Lamb.  It matters not, for you will see me everywhere, and yet you will look again and see only my eyes fading off as the smile of the Cheshire cat.  And yet again you will look and see nothing at all.  But you will remember my eyes, coal black and piercing with the flames of eternity flickering within them.  And as you continue about the business of your charade in my name you may, in the comfort of your favorite corduroy smoker, feet warmed by the crackling fire, have cause to wonder.  Yet I have no doubt that you shall wonder for but a moment."

     And as Uncle Leroy pointed out some 50 odd years after his ordeal, "It would seem that Saint John the Baptist's axe is laid to the root of the tree."



McCormick Goat


Addendum:
The Incident Year


How Jesus Christ Saved Me
From Liberal Christianity


July 4, 2007


By Philip D. Ropp

During the 1970's, I was a candidate for ministry in the United Presbyterian Church in the U.S.A.. I attended Alma College, a small, liberal arts, church affiliated school, and received very good grades in my course work in religious studies.  I was well respected by the faculty and my fellow students, and continually assured that my future in the church was bright. In the beginning of this process, God was merely a concept that I took for granted.  By the end of this experience in liberal religious education, my faith had been shaken and challenged to where I was uncertain that there was any spiritual reality to life at all. 

     In the last year of my education, I found myself spiraling downward into an abyss in which my life became increasingly meaningless and sinful. Shortly after I graduated in the spring of 1977, I was willing, eager, even desperate to find any kind of reality that existed beyond the meaningless charade that my life had become.  And so, when I was offered the opportunity to explore occult spiritism, I seized this opportunity with such zeal that within a few days I had acquired a demonic entity and found myself obsessed and threatened.  At the moment at which I realized that possession was the intended and unavoidable outcome, I sought help and it was forthcoming. A friend, a Christian named Jack, who was himself struggling in much the same way as I, performed an impromptu exorcism that we would forever after refer to simply as "The Incident."  Through this Incident, we witnessed together the awesome and life changing reality of the saving grace of Jesus Christ.

     When I entered college to study for the Presbyterian ministry, I did so in the hopes that studying religion would strengthen my waning faith and answer the question that haunted many others and myself: “Why?”  But just the opposite proved true.  My Bible professor was angry and still estranged from God due to the death of his father when he was 14. He taught me the Bible wasn't true. My theology professor was a Marxist who had long ago sacrificed his faith upon the altar of a worldly socialism.  He taught me God did not exist.  The man that guided my religious vocation was a churchman with a jolly façade who hid his lack of spiritual substance in the political machinery of the Presbyterian Church.  He taught me faith didn't matter.

     The more I studied about God, the less I knew of him.  The less I knew of God, the more hedonistic my behavior became.  The more hedonistic my behavior became, the farther I sank into the morass of sin.  I entered into that time that  St. John of the Cross called the “dark night of the soul.”  It is that time in which, to bring a soul to the light, God allows that soul to become immersed in utter darkness.  To draw that soul to him, God removes himself from it.  My cries to heaven echoed across a cold, empty universe, and I was lost and alone.

     There was a song back then by a group called "Rufus."  It was called Tell Me Something Good.  My own mantra became “show me something real.”  It was in the month after my graduation that I turned to the occult in the quest for anything spiritual: for something real. Then one day, at the end of a dead end road, there was a house.  In this house was something.  To tell the truth, I didn't know if it was real or not.  When I spoke to it, it seemed to answer in my head.  I asked it to come with me. And it did.

     Over the next few days, I would discover just how real this thing was.  Invisible, inaudible, yet able to demonstrate its presence in subtle ways, by day three it had become powerful, ever-present and increasingly malevolent. Fear turned to foreboding.  Foreboding turned to resignation.  Resignation meant yielding control, and yielding control brought on the conviction of complete hopelessness.  Walking across the Alma campus in a gathering physical and spiritual darkness, I saw the light coming from the snack bar at the student union.  In this light sat a friend of mine.  It was Jack!  With the last ounce of my free will, I walked in and sat down across from him. He was marginally aware that something strange had been going on with me.  And, through the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, he suddenly knew, instinctually, what to do.

     We walked out into the night and he told me to pray.  For the first time in years, I really did.  The darkness that threatened to envelope me abated somewhat and I felt a glimmer of hope.  Across the deserted campus and to the football field we walked.  He told me to kneel, and so I did.  He laid his hands on my shoulders and prayed earnestly in the name of Jesus Christ that whatever was tormenting me should be gone. I fell forward unto all fours.  Something took control of my throat and was using my vocal chords to issue a series of bloodcurdling primal screams into the warm, spring night air.

     While this was happening, I found myself falling endlessly into a dark abyss.  As I fell, I could hear the screams coming from my own throat recede into the distance above me.  Then I saw a light that was hidden behind a cloud.  It looked very much like a thunderhead passing in front of a full moon. As it came closer, a hand extended from the cloud.  At the base of the palm, where the hand meets the wrist, was the imprint of a nail.  I reached out and took this hand and grasped it with all my strength.  When I did, my falling slowed to a stop; then I felt myself catapulted upward.  As I rose, I could hear the screams coming from my own throat grow closer.  Suddenly, I felt myself slam into my own body with a force that knocked me down face first onto the ground.  The screaming abruptly stopped.  The night was quiet, and it was gone.

     I came away from this Incident with a deep and profound knowledge of Jesus that has, from that time to this, manifested itself in a real and abiding, personal and living relationship that is the axis around which my life revolves. In the spirit filled days that followed, the Scriptures, which had, in the days prior, been merely academic subject matter, were now opened to me as the Word of God.  The New Testament, in particular, was revealed as eternal truth in such an obvious and yet profound way that I would marvel at how familiar passages suddenly were rife with meaning I had never seen before.  I would let the book fall open and thrill at the way in which the words would speak directly to my heart, and know that this was God directed.  The apostles of Christ became real to me, moreso in some ways than the living people I encountered, and I established a special identity with Paul, who was also saved out of his sin in the same kind of dramatic fashion in which I was saved out of mine. 

     During the summer that followed, I tended to keep all of this within myself.  This new found and glorious faith was that pearl of great price, and I responded by locking it away within the deepest part of my psyche.  Early on, I went to the college library and pulled books on psychology and philosophy and realized that it is Jesus that answers all of the questions that are posed by the various disciplines that attempt to delve into the nature of human consciousness.  I now knew that theology that is not centered on the revelation of God the Father, through the person of Jesus Christ, is doomed to irrevocable error.  I understood that secular, scientific history that examines the resurrection under the premise that if it could not happen it did not happen, leads to a dead "historical" Jesus, and, in so doing, denies the living and transcendent Christ.  I am witness to this living Christ.  No amount of theological posturing or philosophical symbolizing can change this, but it is certainly effective in drawing inquiring young minds away from the eternal truth of God and sending them down the primrose path of unbelief.  And I am witness to this as well. 

     Having experienced the living Christ and knowing that the power of God was placed into his pierced hands, I quickly came to realize that religious teachers without faith lead more souls to destruction than all the armies of the world combined.  I was hideously ashamed of the role that I had played in this during my years as a student.  Like Paul at the martyrdom of Stephen, I had held the cloaks of my professors and cheered them on as they attempted to stone to death the faith of any student that dared to profess real belief in Christ. I rejoiced when I got to throw the rocks myself. Like Paul in Damascus, I had this summer to reflect and to repent; to pray and seek penance. 

     The initial reaction to the sudden presence of Jesus in my life was to question the idea of attending seminary in the fall. The inherent contradiction of a new Christian with a degree in religion and a background in ministry (I had served a local church as an interim pastor) was not lost on me, and it seemed wise to take some time and let this all sort itself out.  It was at this time that my maiden aunt, a woman of great faith herself, presented me with a volume of sermon notes that had belonged to my great uncle, Leroy, who had passed away during the previous year.  Uncle Leroy was the family eccentric; a man of true genius and nearly unfathomable talents, who had wanted merely to serve God within our native Mennonite tradition, but who had, unfortunately, struggled with insanity through most of his adult life. When finally healed, he spent his old age coming to grips with a life of unrealized potential. He wrote of countless days in the asylum in which he was sustained by the words of an old poem that went, "I like to think my Savior knows, How I missed the the path I chose."  By midsummer the Lord had, through prayer, made it clear to me that seminary was something that I needed to do, and Uncle Leroy had me convinced that I did not want to miss the path that I chose.  In the fall I was enrolled at McCormick, a liberal Presbyterian seminary on the south side of Chicago, and began what would be a short, but certainly not uneventful, career in religious academia.

     As a small town central Michigan boy, I  had been exposed to precious little in the way of homosexuality when I arrived in Chicago in the fall of 1977, and certainly none of it church related.  It took me by surprise when I realized that the roommate I had been assigned was of this persuasion.  In fact, our relationship got off to a rocky start when the first question that my new roomy asked me was what my opinion of homosexuality was.  Thinking this some kind of heterosexual posturing, I responded by joking that, as an avowed pacifist, it was the only thing I could think of that might make me resort to violence. It was when he turned his nose up and stomped out of the room in anger and disgust that I realized my faux pas.  And so it was that I was labeled a homophobe even before I was tagged with that most dreaded of all liberal labels: "fundamentalist." 

     It is not my intent to turn this witness of God's saving grace into a treatise on these labels that Christians have invented for the purpose of identifying themselves and belittling, insulting and infuriating one another.  However, for purposes of clarification, some admittedly oversimplified definitions of  the terms "liberal" and "fundamentalist" are in order at this point in these proceedings:

    A "liberal" is one that adheres to a basically Christian belief system that allows for the assimilation of modern scientific, psychological, philosophical, historical, social and cultural paradigms into a flexible theology that also is open to the influences of various non-Christian religions and secular worldviews. Typically, liberalism denies the divine inspiration of the Bible in favor of the various critical disciplines that have evolved over the past 300 years or so. The historical and human person of Jesus is seen as submerged beneath the theological construct of the Christ, an ancient eastern concept assimilated by the early church in response to the idea of  the resurrection, which is assumed to be an invention of the apostles.  Heaven, like hell, is a state of mind and satan is a metaphor for evil.  Ethics, morals and the concept of sin are relative to cultural norms, and the transcendence of God virtually nonexistent.  It is, therefore, more accurately a form of religious humanism rather than a faith system in the traditional sense.  

     A "fundamentalist" believes in the divine inspiration and inerrancy of the Bible, the historical reality of the virgin birth, miracles, and the resurrection of Jesus, which is both real and physical. Jesus Christ is the lone agent for the salvation of humankind through his sacrificial death at the cross.  Just prior to the close of human history is a period of great earthly turmoil called the "Great Tribulation," in which a satanically possessed human, the "Anti-Christ," rules the earth under one government and enslaves and torments its inhabitants. Those saved in Christ are raptured to heaven, and there is great debate as to whether this is accomplished before or after this Tribulation.  Satan and the evil spiritual entities under his command are regarded as the real, intelligent adversaries of humanity, and the second coming of Christ is the climax of human history, at which time the Last Judgment sends the bodily resurrected righteous in Christ to heaven, while the devil and his minions, evil doers, and the unsaved are banished  forever to the fires of hell, which is considered a real place and in no way a metaphor.

     While the liberal-fundamentalist dichotomy has its roots in the 19th century, it came to full fruition in the Presbyterian Church during the early decades of the last century.  During these troubled years, Princeton Theological Seminary, the flagship of the Presbyterian Church U.S.A. seminaries, and an institution that traced its conservative heritage back to the staunch Calvinism of Jonathan Edwards, emerged as the dominant liberal voice within the Presbyterian tradition when conservative, "fundamentalist" theologian J. Gersham Machen was driven from his post as professor of New Testament by liberal "modernists" in 1929.  This caused a split in the church that resulted in the Presbyterian Church U.S.A. "liberalizing" Princeton and, in turn, the balance of the church.  Machen and his fellow exiles formed Westminster Theological Seminary in 1929 and, in 1936, the Orthodox Presbyterian Church.  Turmoil within American Presbyterianism continued through the balance of the 20th century.  The PCUSA became the United Presbyterian Church in the U.S.A. through a merger with the smaller United Presbyterian Church of North America in 1958.  The name reverted back to Presbyterian Church U.S.A. through yet another merger, this time with the southern based  Presbyterian Church in the United States in 1983.  In 1981, the Evangelical Presbyterian Church was formed by conservatives in yet another split resulting from this ongoing liberalization of the church.  Regardless, at Princeton, McCormick, or any other liberal UPCUSA or PCUSA seminary, there was and is no greater insult than "fundamentalist."  It is considered a synonym for "ignoramus."

     While the terms "liberal" and "fundamentalist" are defined in the most skeletal way above, these definitions do not even begin to scratch the surface of the basis of the debate that rages between these two points of view.  And the liberal versus fundamentalist debate is only one of many dynamics causing dissent and controversey and turmoil within and between the churches and the larger Christian community.  That being said, it is interesting to note how seminarians, that is those being trained for Christian ministry, actually understand little of the meaning of either term, especially when one considers how instrumental both have been in driving Christians apart. 

     We were welcomed to McCormick Theological Seminary with a reception that also served as orientation for the new students.  The "campus" was one building and the student body for all three class levels was, as I recall, about 80 students.  On the front lawn was the chrome sculpture of a ram that reminded me of "Baphomet," the satanic goat of Masonic lore.  Inside was a female student who was serving as greeter and handing out stick-on "Hello, My Name Is:" tags so that we might properly identify each other.  Her own name tag had a number of "smiley faces" on it, and she had decorated them with different looks, including one with hair and beard that looked like a smiley Jesus.  The Dean of Students, Dr. Lewis Mudge, gave a witty address that informed us that, since McCormick Theological Seminary was named for Cyrus McCormick, we were not to fear the grim reaper, but rather the international harvester.  It was obvious from the groans and rolled eyes of the upperclassmen that Dr. Mudge had not updated this opening day material in some time. 
 
     When I arrived at McCormick, the debate about ordaining homosexuals did catch me by surprise.  At this point in time in the late 1970's, the liberal church was encouraging a "don't ask-don't tell" policy and the militant gays were already arguing for open affirmation of the homosexual lifestyle and ordination of openly gay pastors. Liberal as my undergraduate education had been, this issue had gone unaddressed. Someone had to define the word "homophobe" for me, as I'd never heard the term before; this was still cutting edge academic language in 1977.

     Other than this, however, I was fully aware as to what it was going to mean to share my witness of a real and ongoing personal relationship with Jesus Christ within this kind of openly hostile environment. In actuality, I didn't have to do much of anything, as my roommate made a point of sharing his opinion of me with anyone that would listen. This meant that I was routinely regarded as a homophobic, Bible banging, religious fanatic, and this in turn resulted in little if any meaningful social contact. In the conversations I did have, I found that the more I stressed the point of my personal relationship with Jesus, the more this reinforced these preconceptions about me, and the more antagonistic would be the response I would encounter. Regardless of the actual definition of the term, I was immediately labeled a "fundamentalist," and it was automatically assumed that I carried all of the baggage the term seemingly implied.  Beyond this, I was informed that to believe such a thing was an indication of mental illness, and this was stressed to me with emotions that ran the gamut from anger, to amusement, to pity. When I would respond by claiming that I not only talked to Jesus, but received answers as well, it usually ended the conversation with abrupt exasperation. Ironically enough, I now found myself on the receiving end of the same kind of harassment and abuse that I had heaped upon others during my undergraduate years.  Worst of all was the silence:  The averted eyes, empty smiles, and no attempt to communicate; to understand or to care.  I felt nearly invisible.  I was friendless and alone; an outcast.  I had found penance.

     And so it was that the halcyon days of the summer of 1977 gave way to the misery of an autumn of irony in which I found myself ostracized among the students of the Presbyterian Church for claiming that real, personal relationship with the Lord that all ostensibly claim as the motivation for entering study for Christian ministry. 

     Towards the end of September, the guys that lived across the hall, the quiet one and the boisterous one, decided to throw a Saturday night party.  The quiet one came over to invite the roommate, and I answered the door.  After I assured him that I would pass the invitation along, he told me that I was welcome to attend as well.  For reasons that now escape me, I actually did decide to go across the hall for awhile.  This was only marginally awkward, as I stood around the fringe of the noise and mayhem nursing a lukewarm can of beer that someone had shoved into my hand. The quiet one came up behind me and asked, "How's it going?"

     I shrugged, "It's going, I guess."

     "You know," he said, "I was a lot like you when I first got here."

      "You mean you were a believing Christian?" I asked, sounding more obnoxious than I actually intended.

      "I  still am," he said calmly. "But in a different way.  I had a very conservative upbringing, and the way they do things here was sure different than what I expected it to be, and I had a lot of trouble adjusting during my first year. I almost quit. But by the second year, I began to see the wisdom behind it, and I began to come around and to see their point of view.  I finally realized that the problems I had with the church weren't theirs, they were really mine. And it became all right to be here, and I'm really good with it now."
 
     This little talk and the emotionless way it was presented reminded me of the speech King Donovan makes to Kevin McCarthy in Invasion of the Body Snatchers, when McCarthy confronts him with the accusation that he's become one of the "pod people."  Jack Finney's chilling little story of a silent invasion from outer space in the form of mysterious pods that grow to become the dispassionate replacements for human beings is usually interpreted as a satire of the communist paranoia wrought by the McCarthyism of the 1950's.  I suddenly realized that it worked even better as an allegory to the rise of liberalism within Christianity, and I began to wonder if this wasn't the real message that Finney was trying to get across.  If it was, he certainly had my attention, for I surely knew what it felt like to be Dr. Miles Bennell, McCarthy's character in the film.  McCormick Theological Seminary was just a Christian Santa Mira, and I was the last one awake. I imagined myself wild eyed and insane on the Dan Ryan, dodging traffic as I screamed, "You fools! You're in danger!"   

     If there was a bright spot in all of this, it was a visit from a friend at Alma that took place towards the middle of October.  The religion department at Alma College was small and close, and when Margie, a female sophomore student in the department, called to say that she was in town for an anthropology field trip and had a freshman friend along with her, I jumped at the chance to head to the Loop for an evening.  I took the girls to dinner at Diana's, a legendary Greek restaurant on Halstead, and discovered, much to my delight, that Margie's friend, Jean, was a sweet and pretty blond girl with big dimples and a beautiful smile, and we spent the evening talking and looking at each other, with Margie reminding us occasionally that she was still there. It was a lovely evening, and when it ended at the observation deck of the Sears Tower, I agreed to meet them at the Art Institute of Chicago Museum so I could see Jean one more time before they returned to Alma.

     I just caught the last southbound train and was uneasy over the fact that there was almost no one else onboard.  At one of the stops around 35th Street, a college age white male got on alone and sat down in back of me.  I struck up a conversation with him and asked if I could sit next to him.  I explained to him that in the part of Chicago that we were passing through, it might be a good idea if it looked like we were traveling together instead of alone.  Sometimes there's safety in even small numbers.  He agreed and I sat down next to him, found out his name was Ron, and listened to his story.  Seems this young man was a student  at the University of Wisconsin and was headed to Florida because his father had just passed away.  He was traveling in a panic and short of cash, and someone had given him the rather questionable advice of taking the bus from the south side of Chicago to save money.  The bus station was at 95th Street, which was nearly no man's land in the daytime. I told him that he certainly didn't want to head down there at this time of night. 

     When he explained that out of desperation he had gone to a Catholic Church and had pounded on the door of the rectory until the priest had yelled that he was going to call the police, I realized that the Lord had assigned this lost sheep to me for the night, and I invited him to spend the night at my apartment.  "All I've got is floor," I explained, "But it beats jail -- or worse."  He agreed, and after connecting with the bus at 55th, we made it back to the apartment without incident.  As we were trudging up the stairs, I tried to gingerly explain that my roommate was, well, gay.  The kid stopped dead in his tracks. "Oh, man, you're not taking me up here to get weird or anything, are you?"  he asked.  I explained that it was  the roommate that was gay, and that he was rather excitable, and that it might be awkward when we went in.  I told him to just be prepared.

     Well, this was certainly prophetic on my part.  No sooner were we through the door than the roommate wanted to know who my friend was and why I hadn't told him I was bringing some over so late at night. "His name is Ron," I said firmly. "He's somebody I met on the El.  He needs a place to stay for the night, and I told him that he could crash here."
 
     This resulted in a barrage of rhetorical questions that centered around what an idiot I was; "Why would you do such a thing as this with out consulting with me first?  How do you know the story he's told you is true?  Don't you understand that you just can't pick the trash up off of the streets and bring it home with you?  How do you know he won't just kill us in our sleep?"

     That was the queue I needed.  "How ironic," I said, "He was wondering what you might do to him in his sleep."

     Well, that did it.  Nose in the air, stomp, stomp, stomp he went into his own room and slammed the door so hard the windows rattled.  As we heard him barricading the door with his furniture, the absurdity of it all struck us, and we started laughing.  "Wow!" said Ron, "You said your roommate was gay, but you didn't tell me he was such a bitch!"  

     The rest of the night passed without incident and in the morning we figured out that my charge needed $20 more to buy a bus ticket that would get him to his destination in Florida.  As we stood in line at the bank, I realized that my window of opportunity to catch the bus and get back downtown to see Jean was passing.  "Oh well," I sighed to myself, "I guess it just wasn't meant to be."  I gave the young man the $20, he thanked me profusely, and, with a heavy heart, I put him on the city bus with directions to the Greyhound station.  Being a Good Samaritan is harder than it looks.

     The educational part of the McCormick Experience had it's own surprises.  I plodded through classes that were basically repeats of my undergraduate studies, some with lower expectations and some that taught outright apostasy.  I took a class on Paul in which the teacher made the claim that Paul did not condemn homosexuality.  I questioned this assertion, pointed to Romans 1: 26-27 and read, "Therefore God handed them over to degrading passions. Their females exchanged natural relations for unnatural and the males likewise gave up natural relations with females and burned with lust for one another.  Males did shameful things with males and thus received in their own persons the due penalty for their perversity."  I was told by the professor that I did not understand that Paul was a victim of his parochial Jewish upbringing and was reacting to an archaic worldview.  Paul, with the advantage of a modern education, would certainly understand the difference between sin and alternative lifestyle.  Further, I was told that I had taken Paul's words out of context by not continuing to read verse 28, "And since they did not see fit to acknowledge God, God handed them over to their undiscerning mind to do what was improper."  The sin, I was informed, was not homosexuality but that of not acknowledging God.  Perhaps, he suggested, I was not acknowledging and affirming God's love for those that were different than I was. When I responded with words to the effect of, "You've got to be kidding," the class turned on me enmasse and the rest of the period was spent in attack upon my perceived bigotry.  I was called "homophobe," "fundamentalist," and "biblical literalist," among other things.  When a fellow male student stridently informed me that my remarks showed me to be the same kind of closeted and frustrated homosexual that Paul himself was, the professor let this ride. I felt anger rising, but kept quiet and accepted the abuse. "Penance," I told myself, "Penance."

     During the summer past, I had found it helpful to write down the details surrounding the dramatic Incident in which Christ had first revealed himself to me, and this resulted in a crude manuscript of about 60 pages.  Early on in the McCormick Experience, I decided to share my witness with my roommate, and when he became particularly difficult to talk to, I suggested that he read the manuscript.  I was suspicious of the way in which he relished this idea, but handed it over to him anyway.  It was shortly after the above berating in the Paul class that I walked into the McCormick student lounge to see my roommate reading my manuscript to a half dozen of our classmates seated around him at a large table.  He was at the point in the story where I am screaming with a primordial intensity, and he was reading in a mocking and highly animated and theatrical style in which he had mussed his hair, crossed his eyes, and was extending and retracting his tongue with each scream.  His audience found this hysterically funny, and all were laughing with wild abandon when I walked through the door and stared at them.  This resulted in a minute or so of awkward silence, as I proceeded to sit down and tried to read.  Soon enough the individuals at the large table were nudging each other and whispering and giggling like school girls.

     At this point, our homiletics professor walked into the room with a two male students in tow who were sporting the countenance of a couple of whipped puppies.  He sat them down and fetched each a cup of coffee.  One of the two picked up the conversation already in progress by complaining that he did not understand why they were in trouble.  These young men were upperclassmen and were serving as interim pastors at a suburban church. It seems one of them had given a sermon in which he had denied the virgin birth and resurrection from the pulpit, and neither could see the impropriety of this. "Look," said the professor, "You and I are educated and sophisticated men and we know that virgins can't give birth and bodies don't rise from the dead.  But you can't take the miracles away from the masses. You have to be gentle and sympathetic and encouraging in the pulpit, and edify and educate when the right situation presents itself." 

     While the puppies were nodding and agreeing with this sound advice, I'd had all I could take and got up and left in disgust. To my surprise the professor, apparently sensing my discomfort, followed me to the elevator, shoved the closing door open and pushed his way aboard. After a moment of silence, with all the pastoral concern that he could muster, he looked me squarely in the eye and asked, "How are you doing?"
    
     "I'm fine," I replied, "The question is how are you?"

     Bringing his fist up victoriously in front of his face and grinning enthusiastically he answered, "Still fighting the good fight!" 

     Thankfully, the elevator door opened and I headed as quickly as I could to the exit.

     It was at about this time, perhaps midway through the semester, that I received a note informing me that I was to meet with my adviser.  He was Edward F. "Ted" Campbell, an Old Testament scholar of some renown, and someone whose work I had admired in my undergraduate days.  I had a deep and particular affection for Old Testament studies, and by my junior year was much enamored of the idea of a career in scholarship.  Campbell's tenure at McCormick was one of the prime motivating factors in my decision to pursue postgraduate education there, and I had requested him as my adviser when I applied for admission.  

     When I arrived at his office, Dr. Campbell was quite cordial and we exchanged the usual pleasantries. He explained that it was high time that we got together and discussed my academic plans, and he asked me to sit down.  Very tactfully, he asked if I was enjoying my classes and if I was having any trouble adjusting to seminary life.  I told him that I was somewhat disappointed in the level of instruction I had encountered so far, and had found my classes less challenging than my course work at Alma had been.  He reassured me that the reason for this was the fact that most seminarians came to their first year of school with little or no background in religious studies, and that he was sure that I would be sufficiently challenged once I got past the lower level courses.  Getting to the point, he informed me that there was some concern among the faculty and my fellow students pertaining to my socialization and class participation. 

     Now, McCormick had a social atmosphere that was smiley faces, back slapping and the affirmation of everyone for everything (with the exception of traditional, believing Christianity).  I had always found this "hale fellow well met" kind of thing saccharin and disingenuous, and my attitude had not been improved by the past few weeks at the seminary.  As for my class participation, I believe the example above illustrates the issues here.  I  told Dr. Campbell, without going into detail, that I had experienced a genuine conversion since graduating from college, and that I was, frankly, somewhat taken aback by the insincerity and lack of faith that I'd encountered in the student body and even among the faculty.  He informed me that he was sure that this was largely a matter of misperception on my part, and told me that I had to be mature enough to realize that faith manifested itself in different ways in different people.  He asked how I was dealing with all of this.  I told him that I had been reading Kierkegaard and Isaiah.

     Ted Campbell sat back in his chair looking serious and nearly stern. "I see," he said.  After a few moments of thoughtful reflection he added, "There is a group of students here that have the same concerns that you do.  There are a few from McCormick and some from the Lutheran seminary and some of the other schools (McCormick was part of a consortium of divinity schools located around the University of Chicago). "They meet privately, off campus," he said, "And I'm sure they'd be happy to have you join them.  I can give you the name of a student to contact." 

     I had heard some strange things since I had been a seminarian, but this tested my credulity.  "Are you telling me that the believing Christians here have formed some sort of 'underground?'  That they meet in secret?"

     "Well," he said, "I don't know as I would put it quite like that, but yes, I guess that's what I'm saying." 

     I told him that I would have to give it some prayer and some thought, and he encouraged me to do so.  I was told to stay in touch and that should I have any need to talk his door would be open.

     As I walked back to the apartment I shared with my emotionally high-strung and semi unhinged roommate, the penitential humility that had been my primary emotion began to give way to a seething and righteous anger. The realization that it was not only me but Christ himself that was being mocked and ostracized at this institution dedicated to the nurturing of souls for Christian ministry finally inspired me to draw my sword (or in this case pen). I declared a war of words on this apostasy.

     In the remaining weeks of my time at McCormick, I sat at my typewriter and pounded out 90 pages of divinely inspired vitriol that detailed every aspect of my displeasure with the Presbyterian Church and liberal Christianity in general.  I stopped going to class and became a recluse.  I would leave my task on those evenings when my roommate would invite his friends over, who were some of the most bizarre people I'd ever seen.  They would sit in the kitchen and consume bottles of wine and squeal and shriek with laughter.  I would walk down to 53rd Street, go see a movie or hang out with the street people.  If the gay drunks were gone when I got back, it would mean that I could expect my roommate to stagger in during the early morning hours.  After one ugly incident in which he came into my room drunk and berated me in such a way that I actually feared for my personal safety, I slept with a heavy steel table leg clutched in my hand.  On the weekends when his friends would come in from out of town, I would buy a train ticket and head back home for a couple of days.  Other times I would take five one dollar bills and go down to the Loop early on Sunday morning and hand them out to winos and engage them in conversation.  I asked one bleary-eyed man once what it was that the church could do for him and his answer was, "Just leave me alone."  I could identify with this.  In the afternoon, I would go out to O'Hare and hang around with the Hare Krishnas, who were very friendly, interesting to talk to, and knew more of Christ than the good folk at the seminary.  I also got a couple of beautiful books out of the deal, one a work on Krishna and the other a beautiful copy of the Bhagavad Gita.  I think it's a shame that they're banned from the airports now-a-days.

     I finished my tome as the Thanksgiving break approached, and realized with some joy and a large amount of relief that this ordeal was nearing an end.  The work had evolved into a series of about eight essays that dealt with the different aspects of the apostasy of the church. Some of the titles were "The Census of Babylon," "Gentlemen, All is Not Well," "The Abuse of Scripture," and "This God of Theirs."  I adopted Uncle Leroy's rhythmic, 19th century style, and it funneled my righteous anger perfectly onto the paper, giving it an authoritative and nearly prophetic tone. The emotion that went into these pieces was such that when I was finished so was my big old Underwood manual typewriter, as it was unable to bear up under the pounding I gave its keys. I went over to the library and photocopied and collated my work into three copies: one for Lew Mudge, one for Ted Campbell, and one for me.  I went back to the apartment and carefully hid the copies as insurance against my roommate turning this into another production of his theater of the absurd.

     I had booked a late afternoon flight out of O'Hare on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving.  Shortly after noon, I went over to the McCormick building, which was virtually deserted, and slid a copy of the essays under the doors of Dean Mudge and Dr. Campbell.  I attached a cover sheet on the one that went under Mudge's door that read simply, "Please Accept In Lieu of Class Work."  I toyed with the idea of actually nailing a copy to one of the front doors of the seminary, but the doors were antique oak and beautiful, and I couldn't bear the thought of damaging them.  This was too Lutheran anyway.  I made it to the airport well in advance of my flight and got to spend some time with the Krishnas.  The two young men that I usually talked to were there, and when I told them that this would be the last time I would see them, one produced the volume on Krishna and presented to me as a parting gift, even refusing the donation I offered.  We bowed to each other and I was on my way home.  Some times the best Christians you meet aren't Christians at all.

     When I walked off the plane and into the terminal, my mother, father and two sisters were waiting for me.  While I had not made much of what was going on with me at seminary, it was no secret that I was "having some trouble adapting" as my mother would put it.  I decided it wasn't a good idea to bring up the fact that I had burned my bridges with McCormick when the essays had gone under the doors, so I made sure that the conversation in the car on the way home stayed focused on other topics.  When I was asked how my first term was going, I answered that I'd had the chance to do a lot of interesting writing and let it go at that.

     Back at my parent's home in Alma, I decided that it was best to broach the subject of the end of my pastoral aspirations and get it over with, as this would certainly be inappropriate conversation at the Thanksgiving table.  When I  matter of factly told my folks that I'd decided to leave the seminary, my sisters took this as their queue to disappear from the scene while, I'm sure, stationing themselves within listening range so as not to miss any of the fireworks. 

     As I had expected, my dad maintained a stoic silence, which was about all he could do in the face of my mother going apoplectic.  I received the usual lecture that accompanied any major change in my life; about how I was flushing away my hopes and my future.  Then it was about all of those that would have to deal with their own disappointment and bitter hurt at my rash and callous decision. And what of the utter despair of those children at church that looked up to me and pinned all their hopes for their own future aspirations on my example. This eventually degenerated into the horrendous humiliation and embarrassment that I was causing her personally because, as usual, I had selfishly failed to take anyone else's feelings into consideration but my own, especially hers. I realized that I really had achieved some measure of maturity by the fact that I didn't become angry and turn this into anything uglier. As soon as this initial venting subsided, my dad suggested that it was a good idea to sleep on it and let the chips fall where they may in the days ahead.

     The next morning, while my mother was absorbed in preparing dinner and fuming to herself, my dad told me he needed help with something out in the garage.  This was his code for wanting to talk to me.  The house was my mother's domain, but the garage was my father's, and he conducted all of his business here. While my mother had done all the talking the night before, the old man decided maybe it would be a good idea to do some listening, and so I poured out the story of my seminary experience, as related here.  While I knew he would be more understanding than my mother, I didn't expect him to see the humor in all of this that had, so far, escaped me.  He was still laughing at the essays under the doors and the fact that I had sought Christian fellowship amongst the winos and Hare Krishnas when I asked him if he was disappointed in me.  "Disappointed?" he asked. "Oh, hell no!  If I'd been you, I would have told them to shove it up their ass when they gave me the queer roommate!" 

     "So," he asked, "How are you going to get your belongings back from Chicago."

     "Well," I answered, "With everything else I've had on my mind, I haven't been able to figure that part out yet."

     "Why don't you take your car down to Chicago and get your belongings and bring them back here?"

     Now, I owned a car, of sorts, but it needed work and I'd left it behind rather than trying to deal with the madness and expense of having an automobile in the city.  I'd sold my 1971 Triumph Spitfire during the summer as part of my effort to simplify and spiritualize my life, and because I needed the money to pay for the "McCormick Experience."  My father was a retired master mechanic, had owned an auto repair business, and had restored and sold high end used cars.  This meant that I'd had the benefit of owning nice cars at a young age, but the one I currently had was a 1966 Buick Skylark that had been taken in as a trade when I sold my 1971 Mustang Fastback 2+2.  The paint on the Buick was faded, there was rust along the bottom of the rear quarters, and the rear differential was failing due to the abusive habits of the previous owner.  It made a "schuff, schuff, schuff" sound as it went down the road.

     "Man!" I protested, "The rear end in that Buick is pretty rough. I don't know that it would go all the way to Chicago and back."

     My dad looked at me as if I was an idiot and said, "Well, then, why don't we put a rear end in it before you go, and then you'll have a car, and you can go get your things and get on with your life." And just like that my old man put me back into the driver's seat of my own life.

     The day after Thanksgiving, he called his junkyard connections, located a good used rear end for the Buick, and he and I spent Thanksgiving weekend swapping rear axle assemblies.  First thing Monday morning I was on the road to Chicago and by mid afternoon I had all my stuff loaded into the Buick and was on my way back home.  My roommate was at class and came back to find that I had moved out and was gone for good.  I left enough money to cover what should have been my half of the bills, and a phone number where I could be reached if this was insufficient.  I did get a call a week or so later, and he accused me of skipping out and sticking him with more than his share of the expenses. I informed him that if that had been my intention, I wouldn't have left him any cash or a contact number. I sent him a check for the amount he demanded and figured that if it was more than I owed it was a good investment if it meant severing all ties and putting an end to the McCormick Experience. As the old Skylark purred easily up through southwestern Michigan towards home, I heartily praised God for his Glory and for my freedom.

     The last official contact that I had from McCormick was a hand written note from Dean Mudge explaining that no credit would be extended for the essays, and suggesting that it might be a good idea if I got some psychological counseling.  He ended on a very upbeat note and wished me a happy and prosperous future in whatever I decided to do with my life.  For over twenty years after this, I would regularly receive pleas for money during fund raising drives, and newsletters inviting me to class reunions and updating me on the wonderful things accomplished in the church and academic careers of my former classmates. 

     During these days, my parents owned a mobile home south of Fort Myers, Florida and spent the winters there.   My dad began to lobby for the cause of me spending the winter down there with them.  Work was plentiful, the opportunities unlimited, and the weather was beautiful. He was persuasive salesman. My mother, once she had overcome the initial shock of me leaving seminary, decided that, for once, my dad was right, and this would be just the ticket for me.  I could take some time, sort things out, and decide in which direction I would point my life.  I had to admit that I didn't have any better options, and it didn't take much to outstrip the potential that Alma offered over the winter.  And so, by the second week in December, I had the '66 packed and was cruising towards Florida.

     The months in Fort Myers were good.  It was quiet and warm and I had lots of time for prayer and meditation.  I got a job as night auditor at the Nautilus Inn in Cape Coral, and once I settled into this, I found myself with many long, quiet and peaceful hours to spend alone with my Savior, and this became a cherished time of healing and I grew strong again in mind and spirit.  The Lord became my teacher and I became an adept spiritual warrior, learning to deflect the temptations of the flesh and gaining in confidence daily.

     The Buick had proved to be such a sound automobile mechanically that my dad decided it should look as good as it ran.  He began restoring the body, working in the driveway in the Florida sun, and whistling happily as the project came together nicely.  Meanwhile, I helped where and when I could and drove his '74 Malibu to work at night while my car was laid up. I was making good money and contributing my share and more to the household expenses while spending little, causing no trouble, and socking away cash for the future. This made my mom happy with me on all counts, and we all got along particularly well. 

     When the Buick was prepped and primered, we went to the local Earl Schieb in Fort Myers.  The old man had been crafty enough to stop in here several times already and check out the finished cars waiting to be picked up.  "This kid can paint," he told me. "We'll get you a good paint job here."  We walked up to the counter at about closing time and my dad asked to see the painter.  A tall, skinny guy in coveralls and about my age walked out and asked what we wanted. "I want you to paint a car for me," dad said.  We were told to see the girl at the counter.  My dad held out a twenty dollar bill and said, "President Jackson says I should talk to you."  

     The president got this young man's attention and the old man made the following deal:  The car was already prepped and he'd buy the paint.  Earl Schieb's would get their $79.95, mask the glass, and the kid would primer coat and paint the car using the provided, high quality materials.  If it was a nice job, President Jackson would again express his own personal thanks.

     When we went to pick the finished car up, the proud painter came bouncing out of the shop to show it off.  He did indeed do nice work, and the Buick sat sporting many coats of beautiful and shiny sky blue lacquer.  My dad was so impressed that the young man got a special commendation from President Grant and everyone was happy.  I spent most of the next day polishing the Buick's factory chrome wheels and trim, and detailing the white vinyl top until it was snow white and looked like new.  Shallow perhaps, but I will admit that the comments of "Wow! Nice car!" that I got while filling up at the Sunoco station did bolster my self esteem, and until the day he died I was never able to adequately express to my dad what it had meant that he had spent this winter dusting me off and putting me back up on my feet.

     Towards the end of March, The Nautilus Inn was sold to a group of New York Italians that resembled the cast of one of those "B" grade God Father knock offs that were so popular back then.  I took this as the sign I'd been waiting for that it was time to pull up stakes and head back to Michigan.  During these months in Florida, I had thought long and often of the girl I'd spent that beautiful evening with at Diana's, and as the dust of the seminary ordeal settled, I began to look at my preoccupation with McCormick as the cause of lost opportunity.  I didn't have the courage to call or write, and I had convinced myself by now that she was probably in a serious relationship with someone else, and had forgotten all about me.  I knew that she was too young for me and that there were a thousand other reasons why it would never work, but, still, I had to know for sure and the only way to do that was to go in person and find her.  Then, at the worst, I would know that if Bogey always had Paris, then at least I would always have Chicago.

     I pointed the Buick north and, as usual, it ran flawlessly.  I made it as far as Troy, Ohio before the taillights of the cars in front of me and the lines on the highway began to run together.  I grabbed a motel room and slept for four or five hours, and then it was back on the road and finally back to my parents house in Alma.  It was late afternoon by the time I got the house up and running and myself settled in, and I was exhausted from the road.  The emotional enormity of what I was about to do settled in, and I had a prayer session with the Lord that was as intense as any I've ever had.  I was alone and lonely, and I felt that if I was to continue on from this point to whatever God had in his plan for me, I was not going to be able to do it in this state of mind.  And I told him so in no uncertain terms.

     The sleep I desperately needed came fast and hard, and I was out for nearly twelve hours.  I woke up excited, dressed and headed for Alma College, telling myself that I would certainly run into some old friends, and that I could maybe check on the social status of Jean in this way without hideously embarrassing myself too much.  However, when I walked past the window of the student union, there she was.  I mustered my courage and resolve and went in and stood across the table from her.  She looked up and gave me the same sweet smile I remembered from Chicago.  I asked if I could sit down.  "Sure!" she said.  And we've been together ever since.

     As our relationship began to bloom, the big hurdle for me was telling Jean about the Incident with the demon.  Since the days at McCormick when this story routinely resulted in the listener inquiring about my mental stability, I had become rather gun-shy about sharing it, and only did so in circumstances where the Lord would nudge me into knowing that it was warranted. This was most certainly one of these warranted circumstances and, by providence I'm sure, Jack showed up at precisely this moment and we told her the story that we called "The Incident" together.  Much to my relief and delight, Jean not only accepted the truth and validity of the story, but took it as an opportunity to share her own faith.  She was entering into the same difficulties with her college religious studies that ultimately resulted in my trip to the football field in the year previous.  And so, she could actually relate to this in a way others could not, and it served to make our relationship deeper and stronger.

     By mid May, 1978 as the first anniversary of  The Incident came to pass, I found myself with my soul mate, as we enjoyed a love that seemed to blossom with the spring. What a difference a year can make.  From this glorious beginning we would build a life and a family together and, in the end, we would learn in strange and unexpected ways that the love of God and the saving power of Jesus Christ conquers all.