BED and BREAKFAST

As he was entering a village, ten lepers met him. They stood at a distance from him and raised their voice, saying, "Jesus, Master! Have pity on us!" Luke 17: 12-13

It is my habit to row a few meters from the shore to unwind on my kiddie rubber toy boat after praying the rosary with two households, One afternoon, I felt a kid tugging on my shirt, pleading that he wanted to ride with me on the boat.

In his great excitement, when I agreed to his request, he fell in the water as he was scampering to get in the boat.  Once in it, I noticed he was a kid born with his feet slanted inward so that it was not his soles touching the ground but the sides of his feet. He runs and walks with great struggle.

When I saw this I remembered the little grade school girl I met, while doing my morning ascent walk in my state of the art trekking shoes that someone had given me, who was selling some homemade food stuffs perched on her head. She was in ill-fitting clothes and barefoot – barefoot without even slippers or anything to protect her delicate feet. Out of pity, I immediately bought and brought to her a hundred peso (US $ 2.00) pair of slippers from the nearest store.

As soon as she put on the new slippers, she ran away fast towards home, with the food stuffs she was selling still on her head.

Seeing these events transpire before me, I remembered the lyrics of a song inscribed, faded and with paint peeling, on the wall of our seminary refectory before which had seen good times. It said; "Some have food but cannot eat. Some can eat but have no food. We have food and we can eat. Glory be to God, Amen."

And one of them, realizing he had been healed, returned, glorifying God in a loud voice, and he fell at the feet of Jesus and thanked him... Luke 17: 15-16

There are some households in our parish that don't have proper tables. On several occasions, when we have gone to their houses, there are parishioners who are in a dilemma as where to station the icon of our patroness saint. Some would like to put her on the floor to which I protested, “No, no! At least, put her on a chair or raised platform.”

After we prayed the rosary, I asked how they ate their meals, to which they responded that come meal times, they serve themselves from their dirty kitchen, then look for a corner or a chair, and there eat in different positions. Some of them eat rice mixed with coffee, instant noodles or salty junk food chips...

Some have food but cannot eat. Some can eat but have no food. We have food and we can eat. Glory be to God, Amen.

And when he saw them, he said, "Go show yourselves to the priest." As they were going they were cleansed! Luke 17: 14

"I'm going to bed now?!"

There are some households in our parish that don't have proper and decent beds in which to rest at night, as they live in shacks and lean to's. I prayed my prayer of gratitude, seeing how some of them are sleeping with just a thin carton board separating them from the cold floor, or they just lay about anywhere to rest their tired bodies at the end of the day.

I remember (but not exactly) the words of our late archbishop who practically rebuilt our seminary facilities, "I am giving you good rooms and beds hoping that in the coming days, as priests, you can serve the people of God well and good.”

Some have food but cannot eat. Some can eat but have no food. We have food and we can eat. Glory be to God, Amen.

Fr. Allan S. Fenix

THE LAZARUS HEALTH BUDGET

There was a rich man who dressed in purple garments and fine linen and dined sumptuously each day. Luke 16: 19

Sometimes, as a priest, I see myself as the rich man mentioned in the gospel story.

One time, right after a full meal, I felt my tongue craving for something more, something different. Something sweet. My mind went back to the rich chocolate ice cream cake that was donated by someone to the retired priests of our archdiocese. However, due to various health reasons, they cannot partake of it anymore. So, when I was with them for a few days, they were inviting me to consume all of it, plus the other sweet stuff found just sitting in their fridge. They were asking me to be a janitor fish.

God is so good to his priests. While I was still reminiscing about the cake offered to me by our retired priests, suddenly we overheard the hurried arrival of a motorcycle outside. When we got up and checked it was a parishioner who earlier in the day gone to the city on some business. On the way back home, he cared enough to buy some calorie-rich sweet chocolate cake for us at the rectory.

Immediately, upon being laid on the table, I reached out and ate a big portion of it and felt an overall sense of satisfaction while being tormented thinking that many of our parishioners downstairs had nothing to eat for the night. I knew some of them ate rice mixed with coffee, or MSG-laden instant noodles.

And lying at his door was a poor man named Lazarus, covered with sores, who would gladly have eaten his fill of the scraps that fell from the rich man's table. Luke 16: 20-21

.....and from the netherworld, where he was in torment... I am suffering torment in these flames... whereas you are tormented... place of torment... Luke 16: 23, 24, 25, 28.

Recently, our high school and college class had the rare opportunity to meet up in a downtown restaurant. During our gathering, one by one, as I was reviewing their faces in my mind, we heard about what had happened to some of our classmates who passed away in different horrendous ways.

Some of them were terribly ill. Some shared about the overwhelming stress of balancing careers and family life. While they were at it, I kept on reciting a gratitude prayer thanking God that, as His celibate, I only have my own stomach to fill up and, at least, a bed to crash on for the night.

The table in the middle laden with all the rich, greasy and meaty foods was practically left untouched, as most of us were carrying our own various creeping health problems.

Going back to our seminary formation, on the very first day of our orientation, we were given a road map. We were reminded that our formation has four aspects- Human, Spiritual, Intellectual and Pastoral.

From that day on and henceforth until our death, to achieve balance, our lives must rotate around those corners. Day in and day out, to meaningfully and productively fill up my day, my hours keep on shuffling back and forth through them. Some times good. Some times not so. But, at least, I am armed with a road map for life.

Even among priests, many of our brothers have long since stopped doing vigorous physical activities. I never did stop. This is my life hack. I still do a thousand of repetitions on my 25-pound free weights while listening to the very early morning news on the radio.

After praying the Liturgy of the Hours, Morning Prayer and celebrating the Eucharist, as our place is hilly, I do an ascent walk and descent aboard my nephew's skateboard.

In the afternoon, after praying the rosary at two households, I run to the sea with my 120-pound capacity, 200 Pacesetter inflatable rubber boat that my sibling sent me from the United States. I row a few meters from the shore and unwind by enjoying the view, watching birds fly back home and listen to the waves. Soon, after hearing about my activities, a good friend promised to give me a used fishing rod to complete the picture.

Then I beg you, father , send him to my father's house, for I have five brothers, so that he may warn them, lest they too come to this place of torment. Luke 16: 27

Seeing a middle age person on a skateboard or on a rubber boat is a bit of a curiosity for many schoolchildren in our parish. I am like the Pied Piper of Hamelin, as many of them follow me looking and touching these devices that are rarely seen in this part of the world.

And, this is how I live the four aspects of our seminary formation to achieve a balanced and healthy lifestyle. All on a P 0.00 budget- the Lazarus Health Budget.

Fr. Allan S. Fenix

MARY

In the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent by God to a town in Galilee called Nazareth, to a virgin betrothed to a man named Joseph, of the house of David; and the virgin's name was Mary. Luke 1: 26-27

Recently, I was at the cathedral where our regional patroness was being venerated prior to her upcoming feast day. I met a nun who was solely in-charge of changing the Blessed Virgin Mary's cape twice a day due to the thousands of devotees and visitors coming through the line to touch and kiss her icon.

I do not know if you have the same confusion I do. In the past, I deeply questioned the fact that our Blessed Virgin Mary is called by so many titles like Our Lady of Mount Carmel, Mediatrix, Our Lady of Fatima, Our Lady of Lourdes, Our Lady of Salvation, Our Lady of the Assumption, Our Lady of the Annunciation, Our Lady of the Presentation, Our Lady of the Pillar, Our Lady of Peace and Good Voyage, and our very own regionally venerated Mother of Penafrancia, whom we endearingly address as INA (Mother). So, how many Blessed Virgin Marys do we have? One? Two? Three?...

Those were the questions that kept lingering in my mind. To do away with all of those question marks crowding my already scattered brain, I started to look at myself as an ontological person.

I approached the matter at the human level. I have 5 senses – sight, hearing, smell, taste and touch – whose objective is to experience that which is agreeable. My eyes tend to look at things bright, beautiful and wonderful. My ears love to listen to soothing auditory sounds. My nose and tongue towards pleasant smells and flavors. And, of course, my flesh has got billions of receptors wanting to feel smooth and soft surfaces.

To those who are parents with children, correct me if I am wrong. It is much cheaper to raise a male than a female child. Why? As little tots, it is not yet noticeable. However, when they start to learn how to put on make up and lipstick, they also wish a complete wardrobe. They do not want to be seen wearing the same clothes too often. They always want something new and different. In fact, a former first lady put our country on the map by having a roomful of shoes.

Even in our church's various fund raising activities, it is all too often a search for a Miss or Mrs so and so, and not a Mister so and so. It is a bit boring to watch a parade of individuals all in Barong Tagalogs (our national costume), or in tuxedos for that matter.

During big festivities, people are not awaiting the snappy marching cadets with their uniform, all in a line rifles, but rather the all-smiling, all made up beautifully, majorettes, with their graceful movements, hypnotizing us with their twirling batons.

While on the other end of the spectrum, the male species is contented having just 2, 3, 4 sets of clothes and that is it. They're good.

Living in a very humid country, it is common to see men half naked with their beer bellies totally exposed out in public, playing ball or board games, loitering or drinking on the street corners, or just lazing around the whole day through. But who among us can stand to ogle them?

Going back to the Blessed Virgin Mary. She was given to us by the Church, with all its accompanying golden and diamond-studded adornments and garnishments, to attract us to her son, Jesus Christ – bloodied, dirtied, suffering and dying up on the cross, and dressed very skimpily.

The law of nature abhors excess as it eventually turns bad. Our love and devotion to her, however, should not stop or, even more so, go beyond her, or else it will result in what is happening now all over the world – women getting exploited and abused, trafficked, and prostituted.

We love women. Thus, it is truly easy for us to translate to them our love of the Blessed Virgin Mary who, in turn, points us to her son, who we avoid and who does not warrant our stare and prayers, as he is up there bleeding, suffering and dying on the cross for our sins. Who wants to look at a scene like that?

Fr. Allan S. Fenix

SYNDERESIS

When I first heard the word “parable” I started to imagine a special kind of ball children used to play with. Then I asked myself how is it similar to words I often encountered reading comic books such as parachute, paratrooper, paramilitary, paralegal, and in our religion classes words such as paradise and paraclete?

A parable is defined as a type of analogy using human characters to illustrate one or more instructive simple truths, moral lessons or religious principle.

One early morning, while I was reflecting on the parable of the prodigal son, the headline news on the radio was about the surrender of a very trusted municipal payroll worker, who had absconded with millions. This vast amount of money came from withdrawals from a neighboring city bank that he hid in a faraway region, while contemplating what to do with this pile of money.

"...and the younger son said to his father, 'Father, give me the share of your estate that should come to me.' So the father divided the property between them. After a few days, the younger son collected all his belongings and set off to a distant country where he squandered his inheritance on a life of dissipation." Luke 15: 12-13

Upon hearing the said news item, and seeing in it a certain parallelism with the parable I was reflecting on, my interest was whetted and I started to follow up more on it by going to other news sites to gain more in-depth knowledge.

“Its not worth it!” he confessed. It turned out that on the very day he took the money he started to lose sleep- a basic need. All he had on mind was the money in front of him. He didn't want to lose sight of it. Afraid of losing it, he always took this fear with him wherever he went. Appetite abandoned him and sleep became a stranger, up until it totally went away from his life. In time, he lost his vitality- everything. He became a walking zombie. What for?!

" ...and he found himself in dire need... And he longed to eat his fill of the pod on which the swine fed, but nobody gave him any. Coming to his senses he thought, ' How many of my father's hired workers have more than enough food to eat, but here am I dying from hunger ...

"I shall get up and go to my father and I shall say to him, 'Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I no longer deserve to be called your son; treat me as you would treat one of your hired workers.' So he got up and went back to his father..." Luke 15:14, 16-20

This person was at the end of his rope. There was no sense in having these millions with no peace of mind – always on the run here and there. He became nostalgic of things so familiar to him – his former simple life, his family, his old home, his friends...

He started going through what we called in moral philosophy “the process of synderesis” which is defined as the innate principle in the moral consciousness of every person which directs the agent to good and restrains him from evil.

In the end, paraphrasing St. Augustine who said that "Our heart is restless until it rests in you," our heart really has nowhere to go but to its true north, and that is with our creator, God the Father.

While he was still a long way off, his father caught sight of him, and was filled with compassion. He ran to his son, embraced him and kissed him. His son said to him, ' Father , I have sinned against heaven and against you; I no longer deserve to be called your son. But his father ordered his servants, ' Quickly bring the finest robe and put it on him; put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Take the fattened calf and slaughter it. Then let us celebrate with a feast, because this son of mine was dead, and has come to life again; he was lost, and has been found. ' Luke 15:20-24

In our lives, we have been everywhere, in all places but, in the end, God our Father is always our final destination and home. He is on an eternal vigil of waiting for us in our churches in the Blessed Sacrament, and then in our hearts once we make the ultimate decision to change our lives and go back to him.

He became angry, and when he refused to enter the house, his father came out and pleaded with him. Luke 15:28

To top off my reflection, I asked myself what would be the reactions of those people who were scammed out of their money? For sure, there is much anger in their hearts. The desire for total revenge. They cannot wait to tear the person to pieces. Emotions are running high and so too the need to heed the call for compassion and forgiveness.

Again, LET GOD TAKE OVER! LET GOD TAKE OVER! And, again, LET GOD TAKE OVER! To all of us victimized by similar persons and situations, God, the Father is here.

Let us hear from Him. "My son, you are here with me always; everything I have is yours. But now we must celebrate and rejoice, because your brother was dead and has come to life again; he was lost and has been found." Luke 15:31-32

This is the so-called the Prodigal Father's Challenge. Can you take the challenge?

Fr. Allan S. Fenix

BUTTERSCOTCH

Late every afternoon in our parish, it is customary for us to bring the icon of our patroness saint to two households and pray the rosary.

On one occasion, while we were processing to a household, I saw a familiar 7-year old, grade one child in tears, crying. After our rosary, I went back and asked the mother what the problem had been with her child.

The mother, who manually washes other people's laundry for her livelihood, and is married to a subsistence fisherman, who catches fish according to the conditions on the sea, said that her child was earlier on asking for the amount of P 1.00 (a penny) to buy a favorite candy, and she had none to give.

The child was somewhat familiar to me. One time, I had seen him eyeing the pan de sal (local bun) snacks prepared for parishioners who were fixing something inside the church. Seeing the child, I approached, picked up two pieces of the bread and gave it to the kid, who jumped in happiness and ran back to his house. I wished I could have given the child more.

After that, I forgot about the child. However, as I was going through my key chain, I saw a small, metallic medallion which I picked up from a church lobby while I was still in the United States. Embossed on the front was the image of the Sacred Heart of Jesus, and on the back the emblem Our Lady of Mount Carmel. I attached it to my key chain to remind me of God, the Father, and his Mother, the Blessed Virgin Mary. Later, I planned to share it to give hope to anyone in need of it.

While I was looking at the medallion, the image of the child I saw earlier in the church was sparked in my mind, and I also remembered what Maimonedes, a medieval Sephardic Jewish philosopher, said: "Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime."

I detached the medallion from the key chain, put it in a white envelop and, later on, I would give it to the child.

As it was rainy that afternoon when I passed by the child's house, with both of my hands holding a large tarpaulin over my head as rain gear, I called out and told the child to pick out something inside my pant's side pocket.

The child beamed upon seeing the white envelop. I asked what he thought it might be, to which I heard the response, "Money!" I said to look inside the envelop as it contained more than money.

While I was having this exchange, the mother appeared and told me that earlier, before I arrived, her child was asking her for P 5.00 (.10 U.S. cents) which again she had none to give.

I said that it might not be the P 1.00 nor the P 5.00 the child was asking for, but was something that would fill up and strengthen him so he might not get bogged down by the environment he was in; something to help him strive for much more good in life than his favorite butterscotch candy – something to feed the person for a lifetime of FAITH, HOPE and CHARITY.

As 1 Timothy 1:14 said it, "Indeed, the grace of our Lord has been abundant , along with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus."

Fr. Allan S. Fenix

VOWS

If anyone comes to me without hating his father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple. Whoever does not carry his own cross and come after me cannot be my disciple. Luke 14: 26-27

In our country, it is not customary for us clerics to wear the roman collar to distinguish us as priests. When I was in another country living at the bishop's house, it was my habit, after eating dinner, to go to the nearby cultural center to watch a live orchestral performance.

It was on such as this occasion that, while seated alone enjoying the show, a woman with her entire family seated just a few rows from me turned her head towards me and asked; "Why are you all alone?"

Our country, located at the farthest end of the Pacific islands, and surrounded by Asian countries, is very family-centered. Multi-generational families living together under one roof is the usual scene.

That is why it was not surprising to overhear someone saying straight out that it is very difficult for him to accept the Catholic faith, as it teaches totally cutting off relationships with one's family.

There was a certain time when I immersed myself in a particular community to live and study their way of life; how they think, how they speak... It was a ministry of presence. Everyday, I was just there together with them. I never divulged my true identity as a priest. I didn't preach, and no one saw me wearing the collar or celebrating the sacraments.

After a time, they started to be curious about me being still unmarried at my age, while most of them were in different marital situations - multiple times divorced, separated, or single parenting. There was one who asked me, "What is wrong with you?" And another, " Are you sick? " To which I replied by just smiling at all of them.

In my present assignment, every late afternoon, after bringing the icon of our patroness saint to two households and reciting the rosary with them, to unwind I run to the seashore and ride on my inflatable rubber boat. I row it out a distance and just enjoy the waves, the fresh air, and the nature all around. Children in the area, who haven't yet seen this kind of basic flotation device before in their lives, are all wide-eyed upon first seeing it. Many of them keep on following me and touching the sides of the boat. I am already out a distance at sea and yet I can still hear them shouting, "Father! Father! Father!" as they also want to play and ride on that rubber boat. However, most of them cannot swim yet.

So, I decided to ask my brother in law, who operates a fleet of jeepneys, to donate a used inner tube for these children living by the sea. Such a simple toy will make their day by the sea more enjoyable.

I am a father without a child and yet many call me by the title "Father." From my youth to senescence to obsolescence down to the humus, with the help of our Almighty God, despite all the temptations that beset a celibate's life, I am sure to live out this life I entered into when I knelt down in front of our ordinary, bound my hands in his, and heard him say:

"RECEIVE THE GOSPEL OF CHRIST WHOSE HERALD YOU ARE. BELIEVE WHAT YOU READ; TEACH WHAT YOU BELIEVE, PRACTICE WHAT YOU TEACH!

And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or wife or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life. Matthew 19: 29

Fr. Allan S. Fenix

FIRST TABLE

The First Table was the First Stable...

There was a priest who officiated at the Sacrament of Matrimony for a couple from a village near his parish. After the ceremony, with all the picture-taking and everything that was still going on, the priest and a companion were invited to the reception hall ahead of rest of the wedding party to partake of the best prepared, and most sumptuous viands, at the first table.

As the priest and his invited companion were enjoying their meal in the still empty place, a kitchen staffer suddenly appeared and, not knowing the entire situation, and not recognizing them, scolded them for going ahead and eating food meant only for the newly wedded couple, their parents, family members and important guests and visitors.

As a seminarian, I also have had the experience of being seated at the first table, together with the priest who celebrated the Holy Eucharist for a village feast. Same as above, it contained the selected viands for the priest-celebrant, his companions and other invited-only persons who were the only ones seated there.

There was even a priest who shared that he got his priestly vocation when, as a Knight of the Altar, he was seated with a priest at the first table: “Priests eat good food at the first table. Better be a priest myself!”

In the celebration of the Holy Eucharist, while movie theaters and other entertainment arenas have their comfortably cushioned seats numbered and priced, we faithfuls, seated on wooden, hard pews, have court and ringside seats at the First Table, as we witness the greatest miracle occurring on earth, wherein the bread and wine is transformed into the Body and Blood of our Lord, Jesus Christ.

In the mass, we are not privy to the hocus-pocus tricks of a priest, learned from his years in the seminary, but, in truth and in fact, through his anointed hands in the consecration, God once again comes down from heaven and transforms himself into the appearance of the bread and wine on the First Table.

Lest we desecrate the First Table, there was a liturgist who warned us priests to not even attempt, in a joking manner, to hover our hands over the bread and wine while reciting the consecration words, “Let your Spirit come upon these gifts to make them holy, so that they may become for us the body + and blood of our Lord, Jesus Christ...”

How are we approaching the First Table? I have been to a western country and saw how in an orderly manner, pew by pew, they form a respectful queue to receive the Body and Blood of our Lord Jesus Christ from the First Table. While here in our country, it is a frequent occurrence for parishioners to rush in from all corners and directions as if akin to, and reminiscent of, when relief goods are being distributed after a calamity. Cheek by jowl, they crowd in to receive holy communion from the First Table.

We have an archdiocesan policy wherein, except if it is a parent of a priest, the Holy Eucharist is not allowed to be celebrated in wakes in private residences. One of the reasons given was the absence of a decent table on which to celebrate the mass. Sometimes the table was a card table on which games were played, drinks or snacks were served, and it was to be used when these things were done.

The First Table happened in the First Stable, the manger, during the First Christmas.

Christmas is once again coming. It is aptly said in a very popular song etched in every Filipino's heart - Ang Pasko ay sumapit. Tayo ay mangagsi-awit. Ng magagandang himig. Dahil sa ang Diyos ay pag-ibig. Nang si Kristo'y isilang May tatlong haring nagsidalaw. At ang bawa't isa ay nagsipaghandog Ng tanging alay. Bagong taon ay magbagong-buhay. Nang lumigaya ang ating bayan. Tayo'y magsikap upang makamtan Natin ang kasaganahan. Tayo'y mangagsi-awit. Habang ang mundo'y tahimik. Ang araw ay sumapit Ng sanggol na dulot ng langit. Tayo ay magmahalan. Ating sundin ang gintong aral. At magbuhat ngayon KAHIT HINDI PASKO AY MAGBIGAYAN!

(Christmas has arrived. Let us all sing Beautiful melodies For in God is love. When Christ was born Three kings came to visit. And each of them presented Unique gifts. Start a new life at the new year To bring joy to our people. Let's strive in order to achieve prosperity for us all. Let us all sing While the Earth is quiet. The day has arrived of the infant given by heaven. Let us all love love one another. Let's follow the golden rule. And from now on EVEN WHEN IT'S NOT CHRISTMAS, LET'S SHARE!)

Fr. Allan S. Fenix

RENAISSANCE*

Someone asked him, Lord, will only a few people be saved? Luke 13:22

At one of the monthly general assemblies we had with our late Archbishop, a Dominican, I can vividly remember him asking all of us, his priests, present at that time: “If you could relive a certain period in our church history, which one would you wish it to be? To which he shared that personally, for him, he would wish to relive the Renaissance period, in which time kings and queens would knock hard on the wooden doors of the churches asking to have their confessions heard.

In our parish, we decided to give each village and sitio (zone) clearly printed and laminated novenary copies of their patron or patroness saints to enable them, through constant repetitions, to imprint it in their hearts and minds.

One time when I visited one of the villages, I suggested that, while waiting for the other parishioners to arrive, perhaps we could pray the novena to their patron saint. They replied that, due to fear of theft and loss, the said copies of the novenary were not available, as they were entrusted to a parishioner who had already left the village and had not been around for some time.

I countered that the next time we made copies of the novenas available, just leave them in the chapel so parishioners dropping by could have easy access to them to use and pray with. If, in case someone should take one home, so much the better, as a word, a sentence and even a paragraph might be able to make a difference and change the life of a person.

We can always reproduce copies of it, but the impact that it can bring to the hearts and minds of someone is simply immeasurable. There were some parishioners who even said that, in their long existence, it was only recently that they became more familiar with their patron saint.

When I was in the mission field, I had an experience where I lost a copy of my sacramentary. However, I also gained a convert.

It was an unfamiliar language. I was just starting to learn it. So, it was a habit to lug along with me my own copy of the sacramentary containing my own rubrics; cues to tell me which part of the liturgy I was in and would follow; reminders on the ways and means to properly pronounce a character.

During that time, after I would finish celebrating the Holy Eucharist in a nearby church, I would usually go, sit in a nearby public park, breath in the fresh air and just relax.

One day, maybe because I had already become so accustomed to the place, I was too trusting and careless; so much so that I left my backpack containing the copy of my sacramentary on a bench and went to the restroom. When I came back it was gone. Walking back through the memory, I can recall observing a young person just hanging out a short distance away from me.

To make a long story short, after a few months, now with a new sacramentary of my own again, our porter called me up to say that someone was looking for me. When I went down to our visiting area, a person handed me a plastic bag full of tattered pages. This person apparently found it somewhere and started going through it and confessed that, in a way, it changed his life. My name and contact address was visibly printed on the pages. So, it was not difficult to connect it back to me.

The paperback sacramentary that was lost was nothing to me, but what it did to another person's life matters a lot and the most.

Strive to enter through the narrow gate, for many, I tell you, will attempt to enter but will not be strong enough. Luke 13:24

Just like our late Archbishop, how many of us are also daydreaming about life during the Renaissance period of the Church, when people from all walks of life would go out and come to church in droves to receive the sacraments?  Even, perhaps, witness how John the Baptist, in the movie scenes of Jesus of Nazareth, was baptizing great numbers of people in the Jordan river.  By a long shot, that time is past.  It is all wishful thinking by now.

And people will come from the east and the west and from the north and south and will recline at table in the Kingdom of God. Luke 13: 29

We might not be able to convert and baptize a thousand souls into the faith. However, our simple little acts like leaving a copy of a Catholic magazine, like what I do with my old Life Today magazines, stampitas, rosary guides, novenas... leaving them in places where people might see and find them.  Perhaps, a word, a sentence or a paragraph might change a life.

That, in itself, is indeed like living back in the Renaisance period of our church.

Fr. Allan S. Fenix

*The period in the 14th, 15th and 16th centuries during which there was a renewed interest in art and literature, inspired by a fresh study of ancient Greek art, ideas... It started as a cultural movement in Italy in the Medieval period and later spread to the rest of Europe.

HEAVENLY INFERNO

Jesus said to his disciples: "I have come to set the earth on fire, and how I wish it were already blazing." Luke 12: 49

One Ash Wednesday, as our lay Eucharistic ministers and I were going about to the outlying villages administering blessed ashes on the foreheads of our faithful, I took note of some different reactions.

There were those who, out of the novelty of having something on their foreheads, excitedly fell in line to receive it. However, there were those who pulled back; their reluctance inflamed due to a statement they verbally overheard from some bystanders, that receiving it would entail some obligations which, if ever they failed to fulfill them, might bring more misfortune than graces into their lives.

I am the child of a Chinese merchant, and when I first learned some English words, I started practicing them by standing on the corner reading, and rereading, the labels imprinted on the boxes being hauled, one by one, by the hired day laborers from the delivery truck to our father's dark, cavernous store room: FRAGILE: HANDLE WITH CARE.

And also, as my mother would go through checking in some goods before displaying them on the shelves, I can remember reading the label on the cigarette lighter fluid: WARNING: FLAMMABLE

I enjoy bringing Our Lady around to the houses of our parishioners, for in doing so, I am able to encounter more of them deeply. In our short talks, after the recitation of the rosary, they will usually update me, not only on the sacramental needs of their family members, but on their academic performances, medical statuses, and other things as well.

There are those who are very supportive of the Church, yet do not come to regular Sunday Eucharistic celebrations, as they are using contraceptives not prescribed by the Church. It is all or nothing for them. “Sorry Father, we are still enjoying the sin...”

There are those who have some past issues with people of our church, and are being exploited by other sects that proselytize them.

And, there are those who are really nice and good, but going to church was never a part of their vocabulary or lifestyle. They just go about their lives, seemingly as normal as possible.

On those people's foreheads, perhaps, I could imprint the words FRAGILE: HANDLE WITH CARE. Faith is such a very fragile matter. A mere misunderstood word or action coming from the Church will completely obliterate everything. On the other hand, faith in God comes with it a stern warning: FLAMMABLE.

Our faith in Him burns through our throats, our lungs, our hearts, our spleen, our kidneys, our intestines... It is a conflagration which incinerates every ounce of evil, and the impurities and temptations that run all through our system.

As Jesus himself said, “Do you think that I have come to establish peace on the earth? No, I tell you, but rather division.” Luke 12:15. Faith is not a plaything, nor a show time. It is a heavenly inferno. It toughens. It sears through. It burns the fat away from the muscles. It separates the genuine gold from that which is not. Virtues from vices...

Faith is not for the faint and weak-hearted. If one has it, one possess the spark necessary to burn through the pain, sufferings, hardships, difficulties, trials and challenges that this life brings us.

Faith. It is labeled both FRAGILE: HANDLE WITH CARE and FLAMMABLE.

And either you have it or you don't.

Fr. Allan S. Fenix

CALLOUSED KNEES

There was a priest who decided to get laicized. One day, a brother-priest visited and let him listen on a tape cassette recorder to the happy and loud pealing of bells on the very day of his ordination. After that, he changed his mind and went back to his ministry with gusto.

For where your treasure is, there also will your heart be. Luke 12: 34

Growing up, I would oftentimes hear people say that religious nuns were married to Jesus Christ- “Ikinasal kay Kristo”.  That is why they can no longer get married to another human person – they are celibate for life.

In my case, as far as I can remember, eons ago, on the night before our diaconate ordination, the ordinandi, in a kneeling down position, and witnessed by the entire seminary community in our chapel, made a solemn pledge of celibacy, signed and handed, one by one, to our unsmiling rector, which he turned over to our archbishop.

The next scene that I can remember was we, the ordinandi, all prostrated down on the cold sanctuary floor of our basilica minore, and now witnessed by our individual family and loved ones. Personally, I felt as though I was on Cloud Nine of the high heavens, as the litany of the saints was being slowly sung by a bass cantor, right before our archbishop eventually laid his hands on our heads. “Good bye world!”

From that time on, our genuine treasure is God alone. He is now our spouse to whom we should be truly and entirely available. This is the business enterprise that we have entered into with the whole of our lives.

And all of this can only be made possible, as we were also formed for years inside the seminary, through prayers on our knees. Prayer is the only way by which we can strengthen that bond to a spouse whom we cannot physically sense, but know only in the deepest recesses of our hearts. That is why, if one would like to know who a seminarian is, just look at his knees – they should be calloused from long hours of prayer all throughout the day.

Right after ordination, what? There were many who observed that many priests in their first few years in the ministry gain a lot of weight. Some resorted to unhealthy diversions like drinking too much and too many to chain-smoking, overnight gambling, and the lending business. Eventually, many got sick and some died too young. Our spouse might be the Almighty, but we are not immune or invulnerable.

It is because that right after our seminary formation, many forgot all about self care – about exercise, proper diet and rest. So, in the same way, right after ordination, prayer, all of a sudden, just became bland, uninteresting and unattractive. It was abandoned in favor of more “sensible” pursuits. Celebrating the Holy Eucharist became the last of priorities.

Let us go back home to our womb, my dear brother celibates, and reminisce about how we were truly formed in the seminary. Right before the Blessed Sacrament, on our knees, praying the rosary, the Liturgy of the Hours and meditating on the great love we received from our spouse, our Lord and our God, as we were all prostrate down on that cold sanctuary floor, as the litany of the saints was being slowly sung by a bass cantor.

From our youthfulness, to senescence, to obsolescence, all of our focus, strength and our everything – the et als should only be to him, our spouse, our Lord, our God. With our calloused knees and all, he is indeed our treasure and who our hearts should be with, be in, and be around.

Postscript: The day after my ordination I ceased to receive my weekly one hundred peso ($ 2.00) allowance and a carton of milk from my mother, as she knew that I was already then with my spouse, my Lord, my God.

Fr. Allan S. Fenix

FREE RADICALS*

MARITHA

“...There are different kinds of gifts, but the same spirit. There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord... So it is with Christ.” 1 Corinthians 12

After the Holy Bible, the next all-time bestsellers the world over are how-to books. Almost everyone would like to learn something... anything!  However, as there is no definitive method of good parenting so, in the same way, there is no one single best method of teaching catechism.

A clear example of this is our teaching on the utmost priority of the sacraments, “before the table” (misa bago lamesa). In our celebration of the sacraments, most especially in the countryside, be it baptism, confirmation, matrimony or a requiem mass, we only see a handful present in church, while at the reception afterward the whole town shows up.

This creates the impression that getting married in the countryside is really expensive and a terrible ordeal, because the celebrants have to prepare food and wine for the whole town days before and after the occasion. This kind of scenario earns for us the tag of being "sacramentalized" but not evangelized.

In my reflection, I don't see any conflict with Martha who, anxious and worried about many things, burdened herself with much serving on that one day when Jesus came for a visit. Her sister, Mary, just sat beside the Lord, at his feet, listening to him speak (Luke 10: 39-40). The sisters Martha and Mary rather complement each other, I think. Later on, when Jesus left, they must have sat down and compared notes with each other on what they had taken away from the visitation experience.

Back in college, before the dawn of textbooks, prepared notes and recording machines, we merely relied on each other to fully understand difficult philosophical lectures given by fast-talking professors. Usually, one would be the dedicated listener while the others would do the note taking word for word. Later on, we would gather together, compare notes and do study group sessions, with each of us sharing a piece and a morsel of what we had brought with us to the table. Through this crude method, we were able to comprehend the course and pass it. For us, this is both a Martha and Mary experience. A Maritha one.  Isn't it said that two heads are better than one?

There is really nothing wrong with either one of them. As it is said: Be patient with me, I am still a work in progress. This is neither an alibi nor an excuse, as change cannot be abrupt. It takes centuries and generations to change an already ingrained culture and tradition. There is no one single best method by which to learn and to live...

It really all depends on one's imagination and creativity. As my spiritual director often tells me: “Each of us have our own story to tell.”

Fr. Allan S. Fenix

STATUS QUO

“ ..... And who is my neighbor?” Luke 10: 29

Someone gave me a patch with the embroidered image of a person carrying someone on his shoulder and with the words: “The greatest casualty is being forgotten.”

I once watched a For Adults Only movie. It was classified as such not because it contained porn, but rather due to its violent, bloody theme. The story opens with people joyously welcoming a once enemy force who, in the succeeding scenes, are shown killing one-by-one those people they deemed not with them politically. After the film ended, I was drenched in a cold sweat.

“I cannot work there... They cannot help me... I am not with them...” An election period has just ended at our place. New sets of officials were sworn in. Just as there were a lot of casual employees sorrowful for abruptly losing their jobs, there were also the same number rejoicing for getting their positions – for being of the right political color. Many are hurting and left abandoned on the sidelines. In our country, it is a pathetic situation to learn that, in order to work or receive help, one needs to be with the right group. This has been happening since when and will it be always be this way?

I am no one. By myself, I cannot do anything to right this age-old system in our country. I surrender. I accept defeat. With white knuckles, I agree that the situation is really heart-wrenching, and it is nerve-wracking to say the least. If I only had something to offer to calm the prevailing atmosphere, which is very unsettled and this has no value whatsoever. MERCY, anyone?

Before I go on much further, mercy is a virtue caused by the free movement of the will regulated by reason, aroused by the suffering of another person and leading to something positive done about the suffering.

To continue, like me, you might say: "I am no one. By myself, I believe I cannot do anything."  However, according to The Quran verse 5:32, “Saving one life is as if saving the whole of humanity.” Following that line of thinking, if we have shown mercy to just one person, it's as if we have shown mercy to the entire human family.  One, and another, and another more... There will be many in the end to show mercy to the world.

Again: MERCY, anyone ?

Fr. Allan S. Fenix

DELEGATION

Years before the word “multitasking” became a part of my vocabulary, there was someone in our town who earned the avid fascination of many. For a time, he became a center of attraction, as he was able to teach himself to sing, as well as simultaneously play the guitar, the drums, the harmonica and other handmade musical instruments that he made out of the scrap materials he scrounged up. He earned the title “one-man band.”

I once dreamed of becoming a member of the military. One time, while going through a magazine, I happened upon a military ad inviting anyone to fill out and send in the attached form and, in return, receive a free T-shirt and VHS tape titled, “An Army of One.”

When the VHS tape arrived in the mail and I got to watch it while wearing the accompanying giveaway T-shirt, I learned about individual soldiers being completely trained, and materially equipped from head to foot, with all the necessary warfare gear and technology necessary to win a battle with that just one, single robot-like soldier.

In reading the scriptures, one thing that I personally discovered was that even though God is infinite, eternal, all-powerful, all-knowing and ever present, nevertheless, in Jesus, who became human like us except in sin, he showed the attribute of human limitation. Not only in choosing the12 apostles but even in going as far as “...appointing 72 others whom he sent ahead of him in pairs to every town and place he intended to visit...” And even with the request that as “The harvest is abundant but the laborers are few; so ask the master of the harvest to send out laborers for his harvest” (Luke 10: 1-2).

I read that a good leader is not someone who can successfully accomplish a certain task all alone, but someone who knows how to delegate: someone who is not insecure about himself but able to share his obligations and responsibilities with others.

We are familiar with the following: If you DRINK, don't DRIVE. If you DRIVE, don't DRINK... Don't TEXT and DRIVE... According to a study, multitasking, which is the great rage right now among many busy people, is not effective. One way or the other, we can only focus on one single task and neglect all the rest.

We are humans. Limited. We are neither God nor a robot that never gets tired or sick. We breakdown at some point. Somewhere. Sometime. We need our community. We need others. All alone by ourselves, we can only accomplish so much. However, when we learn how to reach out, ask and delegate some of our powers, we are able to accomplish and realize much more than we can imagine and measure.

To continue, the scriptures said it thus: “Behold, I have given you the power to tread upon serpents and scorpions and upon the full force of the enemy and nothing will harm you. Nevertheless, do not rejoice because the spirits are subject to you, but rejoice because your names are written in heaven” (Luke 10: 19-20)

Fr. Allan S. Fenix

INKLESS

I am very much an early bird kind of person. I am usually up at four in the morning, listening to the news of the day, sans the never-ending commercials coming up later on.

As I have been listening to the news, one thing that I noticed lately is the uptick of suicide cases occurring among our younger generations. The particular news item would often end saying that no immediate cause was determined.

One time, as I had been continually hearing this kind of news, a question suddenly formed inside my mind. Is there a strong connection between what is in the news and what I have seen transpiring in our canonical books?

From time to time, whenever I would go through the pages of our canonical books – usually when parishioners would request a copy of their baptismal certificate – I would first admire how parish secretaries, using fine point ink pens, would decorate those pages with their entries. Secondly, I would also observe many empty entries under the “Father of the Child” section. Usually, it would just be marked as P.N.C. (Padre No Conocido – Father Unknown). Sometimes it would just be left blank – inkless.

In our society nowadays, solo parenting, in which most of the time the female is singly raising her own children, is a stark reality. Many mothers are made widows, and children, in turn, orphans, by the death of their so-called “breed and leave” type of fathers. And, with so many seeking the overseas work necessary to help support the ever-increasing needs of their families, many of these children are left under the care of grandparents, or other relatives, willing to do this care giving for them. In turn, these children are left to fend, and find for themselves, the emotional support that only real parents provide. Many of those still in their formative years are already included in the statistics for high incidence of teen pregnancies, addiction of various types, drop outs... depression... suicides...

It's no wonder that in our masses the ones mostly present are the very old – the grandparents – and the still too young – the children they care for. I admire so much the statement I overheard from the wife of an overseas worker, expressing the hope that her husband would eventually come back home, as no amount of money or possessions could equal his presence in the lives of their children. Whenever he came home he was treated as a stranger, or just another visitor.

We need those absentee fathers to fill out not only the blank entries of in their children's baptismal records, but we also need their physical presence to bridge the gap that their absence has created in the lives of their children.

It might sound utopic. However, let us pray that these absentee fathers will at least try to go back to their families once again so as to rid and vanish from our midst theses incidences of teen pregnancies, addictions of various types, drop outs... depression...suicides...

Fr. Allan S. Fenix

BANANA HEARTS

Nature is a great teacher. To start with, let us take as an example the banana fruit. Aside from being so nutritious, the humble banana has a very essential lesson to impart to us all.

A banana is a fruit that is very familiar to almost everyone. It is affordable, easy to eat, and a highly recommended dietary companion. On any given day, it is what is conspicuously displayed on fruit stands along the road, in the market or on a restaurant buffet. The dictionary defines it as a long, curved fruit with a thick skin that is yellow when ripe.

At the back of our parish church, I saw a number of banana plants which had not yet reached the fruit-bearing stage. Every morning before the mass, I would observe them one by one, and a secret scheme formed in my mind. I wanted to perform an experiment using the water from the bowl I used in washing my hands in the mass to nourish one of these plants to see if it would bear fruit more abundantly than the others that were not included in my study.

So, morning by morning and mass after mass, I did what I had in mind and one day, after several weeks and months, when I looked up I was surprised to see reddish banana hearts (puso ng saging) protruding and hanging out from all of theses plants.

As we love to eat vegetables, I excitedly told an early bird parishioner that we could harvest one of those banana hearts after the mass and have it for lunch. The parishioner replied that it is from those hearts which come out first that eventually banana fruits will come. Without those hearts, there will be no fruits. I reflected deeply on this statement and concluded that it is not only a law of nature but also true in the scriptures; "A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of. Luke 6:45

What comes out of our mouths is from our hearts. It is the same way in our lives. We should show first our hearts before anything in our lives reaches fruition. The heart before the fruit. Let us all learn from this simple law of nature and what the humble banana plant is teaching us.

Fr. Allan S. Fenix

PROVISIONS

He said to them, "Give them some food yourselves.... " Luke 9: 13

One day, I dropped by our old house and while I was going about tinkering in its nooks and crannies, I saw a big, porcelain china bowl silently sitting by the glass cabinet where we keep most of our precious cutlery. Seeing it brought a flood of good memories.

I was born and grew up in a family where our amah (paternal grandmother) would regularly send us cooked viands, still steaming in the covered porcelain china dish, and conveyed by their household help. In turn, our mother would put something back in the bowl as a goodwill gesture before we returned it. And whenever our mother would cook something special, she would do the same and send it in our china bowl. Somehow in this series of exchanges the dishes of the two households ended up in each other's pantries, and it was here I saw again the porcelain china bowl of our long departed amah.

When our father was still with us and running his business, there was a fisherman who borrowed some money from him to help fund his fledgling trade. Our father did not charge him any interest. So, in turn, the fisherman would usually send a plateful of his fresh catch through his overly excited children, as they knew in their hearts that when our mother would hand back the plate it would contain some foodstuff like biscuits and sweets -- something rare for them in their neighborhood.

I lived for sometime in another country and saw how still clean and good batches of food from a large institution, to avoid any liabilities of any kind, would put it in black industrial plastic trash bags and discarded in a huge mechanized compactor. This was done instead of giving it out to the many hungry street people just prowling the nearby areas.

Then taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, he said the blessing over them, broke them, and gave them to the disciples to set before the crowd. They all ate and were satisfied. And when the leftover fragments were picked up, they filled twelve wicker baskets. Luke 9: 16-17

In the mass, during the offertory, parishioners bring before the altar their agricultural products, and some put in their monetary offerings. In return, when communion time comes, Jesus Christ himself gives us of his body and blood. We all eat and drink and are satisfied.

One day, we prepared too much of the vegetable viand, and when we finished eating our supper we still had a lot of it leftover. It is not healthy to keep it and consume it the next day, so I brought it down to a big family I knew. I was just in time, as the youngest child's share, while he was playing everywhere and nowhere while the rest of the family was eating supper, had already been consumed by another hungry stomach.

Liabilities. Black industrial plastic trash bags. Compactors. These are all cold and unfeeling objects. The will to send, to share and to give back: this is the warmth and compassion of life, and it will fill innumerable empty and hungry stomachs.

Fr. Allan S. Fenix

GOD SPECULATORS, INCORPORATED

The last world war occurred many decades ago in our country. However, from time to time, we still hear on the news about so-called vintage bombs being unearthed here and there. Sometimes we hear they are even responsible for maiming and killing innocent individuals.

Once upon a time, there was a certain group of gold speculators who came to a certain place in quest of a hidden trove of golden buried treasures. They boasted of having an age-old map that was handed on for generations. However, after spending a lot of time, and exhausting a sizable amount of funds and energy in digging a lot of holes in the nearby mountains, they ended up digging into the same holes that they themselves had dug previously while finding nothing. In time accidents happened and a few lives were lost. Some members of the group went crazy and, to put it briefly, just abandoned the doomed project which was going nowhere anyway.

Using our very limited imagination, let us travel in time:

According to scientists, the world is 4.543 billion years old. Our church teaches us that Jesus Christ, the Son of God, the Savior, died for us on the cross over 2,000 years ago. However, in that long span of time and, up until this very moment, in our quest for knowing and understanding God in depth, we are just barely scratching the surface.  Many are deep into the study of God but have not yet even reached a respectable depth. We are still feverishly digging and speculating.

Many went to war dedicating and losing their own precious lives. Overly gifted intellectuals have used all the words that they know. And individual enthusiasts go and reach everywhere and sing, as the song sang it: “I never stop my wandering...” One nagging question that keeps on rearing its head, and which leaves us all famished for an answer, is: just Who is God in His three Divine persons - the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit?

Brothers and sisters, inasmuch as I miss so much all of my departed loved ones. As I look up at the dark starry skies at night, the quest to know and understand God is a relentless and endless pursuit. It will still be so in thousands, even billions, of generations to come. But, in our own little way, in our own lifetimes, what we can do is continually seek him in the silence of our own hearts, and ask him to please reveal himself to us.

As Jesus said to his disciples: “I have much more to tell you, but you cannot bear it now. But when he comes, the Spirit of truth, he will guide you to all truth. He will not speak on his own, but he will speak what he hears, and will declare to you the things that are coming” (John 16:12-13).

Fr. Allan S. Fenix

AVAILABILITY

“The Advocate, the Holy Spirit that the Father will send in my name – he will teach you everything and remind you of all that I told you. John 14: 26”

The school year has already started for most students. However, when I saw some still hanging around and just being care free during school hours, I asked them why they were not in class. They answered that they were taking their time and relaxing as many of their teachers were not yet in.

When we were in the seminary, I remember that we were not to be seen in some designated areas, but only in our classrooms or the library studying, reading or researching, whenever our professors were not available.

According to an ancient quotation; “When the student is ready the teacher will appear” In life, the moment we open our eyes in the morning, up until we close it at the end of the day to rest, the Holy Spirit is ever present 24/7 waiting for our dedicated response.

We have to drag ourselves out of our beds and do something. Get the brooms and dust pans, rosaries and prayer books, mops and buckets, books and notes, running shoes and athletic outfits, and feel the burn sweating it out.

The Holy Spirit is beside us, accompanying us in the ups and downs of the whole day. We must talk to him, and ask for his help and support, in reminding us to choose the correct, proper and right choices, as we confront our relationships, works, exams and recitations.

To be care free and gallivant around; to procrastinate and not lift a finger to do anything when the sun is bright and high up there in the sky is a great insult and a transgression against the Holy Spirit.

Get up, up, up, there!  The Holy Spirit is wide eyed and beaming waiting for anyone willing enough to respond to his invitation.

Fr. Allan S. Fenix

ABUNDANT. PROGRESSIVE. RICH.

“...and they were continually in the temple praising God.” Luke 24:53

In almost all of my encounters with our parishioners, there is always one thing that I emphasize – DEVOTION, DEVOTION, DEVOTION!

Our parish has already gone through the process of designing and constructing a well-lighted massive church building, a rectory and a pastoral center. However, after all of the hustle and bustle of activities in our church, it is often empty like the tomb of Christ on that first day of the week when Mary Magdalene came to the tomb early in the morning, while it was still dark, and saw the stone removed from the tomb.

Our village masses and devotional processions are attended mainly by playful and often rowdy children, and the aged who can barely read their novenas. There are those who give the seemingly valid excuse of being busy or away at work. I tell them about a video I saw that perhaps many of you have also seen. It is about a rat inside a cage, running around in a wheel. Whatever it does, whether it runs slowly or fast, it can go nowhere, as it just keeps on turning the wheel like a merry-go-round. We might be very busy and we might feel tired and exhausted, but where are we getting ourselves to?

I have been to another place where I heard people tell stories about the long past when they were dirt poor and would find themselves on the steps of their nearby church, begging for food, receiving donated clothes, and watching television programs. However, when God heard and answered their cries and prayers with the economic miracle that occurred in that place, the young and strong found no more good reasons to still be in church that often. People got so busy. Food is readily available and on the table. They have new clothes on their back. Their television sets multiplied.

If the coldness of our faith and devotion at present is proportionate to the high temperatures of this place at present and, having seen two sides of an almost similar situation, I would sometimes pray to God to just maintain the present state of complacency we find ourselves in. If at present we behave this way, how much more if God makes us abundant, progressive and rich? Will we, like in the situation I just mentioned, also find no more reason to be in church?

Lord, God forbid that this reality should occur in this place! As it is said in Psalm 137: 5-6: “... If I forget you, Jerusalem, let my right hand wither. O Let my tongue cleave to my mouth if I remember you not, if I prize not Jerusalem above all my joys!”

Fr. Allan S. Fenix

MAYO

Méi yǒu is the Chinese pin yin which means “none” in English. It also rhymes with our own Bicolano dialect word “Mayo,” which also means “none.” We use the Spanish word “Mayo” for the month of May.

When I was still a student, the coming of the month of May brought with it a mixture of excitement and anxiety, as it indicated that only a month of summer vacation remained before seriously hitting the books again – back to school. And, of course, there was the excitement of the Agua de Mayo, the “Water of May” that is a break from the long and monotonous dry, hot days of April.

In our country, during the month of May, we have the traditional Flores de Mayo the “Flowers of May,” where we, the children, would troop to church on Wednesday and Saturday afternoons to offer our newly bloomed flowers at the feet of Our Blessed Virgin Mary. In my case, I learned about this tradition due to the snacks and refreshments being distributed after the activity. I would usually stand nearby it hoping to get another serving once everybody else got theirs.

Recently, our country was undergoing the so-called El Nino Phenomenon, a weather pattern characterized by high temperatures and aridity due to the long absence of rain. With this forecast in hand, I psychologically prepared myself to stick out those sticky days with less water around. However, God really doesn't forget his promises. He never defaults on them. One very early morning just after the midnight hours, the water just poured down. There were loud and roaring thunder and lightnings. Heavy rains came pounding onto my room's windows. Our parishioners were so happy that the wells swelled with water over the next few days. And afterward we were back to the long stretch of hot days again.

With all of these events transpiring, right in the middle of the month of May, I asked myself where is the Flores de Mayo activity in our parish church? Didn't anyone muster the necessary initiative to gather the children and let them offer freshly bloomed flowers at the feet of Our Blessed Virgin Mary? Maybe everyone is so busy and distracted eking out a living that they forgot. I immediately got scissors and cut the red roses and sampaguita flowers growing and wilting away fast by the side of the parish church, and by myself offered them all to our regional patroness, Our Lady of Penafrancia, our patroness saint, Our Lady of Peace and Good Voyage, and also our secondary patron saint, San Roque.

“If you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.” John 13:17

I did not learn the practice of the Flores de Mayo from our philosophy and theology classes. I got it in days long past, from those who took the right initiative, and gathered us children together and told us to harvest freshly bloomed flowers, fall in line and, one by one, approach and offer it all on the feet of Our Blessed Virgin Mary. It stuck with me. And I knew on that day I was equally blessed along with our parishioners.

For as long as we do the good things we have learned, yes indeed, there are blessings from God in whatever time and situation that we might find ourselves in.

Fr. Allan S. Fenix

BEWITCHED

“... and a little child shall lead them.” Isaiah 11:6

In our parish, we used to have the practice of bringing our patroness saint, Our Lady of Peace and Good Voyage, from house to house in the late afternoons to pray the Holy Rosary with parishioners. Praying the Rosary had been a dormant practice for awhile. While we were gathered around the image of our patroness saint brainstorming our upcoming activities, we agreed that we really had to revive this practice. A small child passed by and saw the darkened face of our patroness saint and exclaimed, “Oh, a witch!” She ran away fast from that place.

How many Catholics still go to mass on a weekend? Based upon my own observations in our parish church and at village masses, it is just a minuscule number in proportion to the entire population.

In our lives as Catholics, we develop devotions to a lot of rituals and practices. This is well and good as it distract us from all worldly allurements. However, once we become just nominal, seasonal believers, and go slack and dormant with our various devotions, the world will slowly bewitch and waylay us from the proper and right way.

Perhaps, like the child I mentioned above, upon seeing our religious icons and symbols, we will also exclaim, “Oh, a witch!”

Fr. Allan S. Fenix

HEIRLOOMS

When I came back from the United States, and while I was awaiting my next assignment, I stayed at the Our Lady of Penafrancia Basilica Minore with our vicar general and a number of the retired priests of our archdiocese.

While I was with them, some of the priests offered to let me do their scheduled masses and I excitedly accepted.  At least, I thought, I am doing something constructive while waiting here.

Once, after celebrating the mass, and while I was changing in the sacristy, the sacristan mayor (sacristan in charge of the main church) told me that a mass-goer would like to talk with me.

The mass-goer was a passing pilgrim who, by chance, attended the mass in which I was the celebrant. The pilgrim had decided to give me a box containing heirlooms of their family. The pilgrim also told me to take good care of these things, as they were very valuable and handed on for many generations within their family circle.

In appreciation, I happily accepted the small box from the pilgrim and promised to wear what it contained in gratitude.  By wearing these things I am also including all of their dead loved ones in my intentions every time I celebrate the mass.

When I tried to ask for contact information for the pilgrim, I learned he did not leave any and did not wish to be contacted in the future. So, I did not persist and the pilgrim was gone.

When I opened the box in my room, I found that it contained a thick gold-chained bracelet, a gold necklace with a crucifix, and an intricately-designed pocket watch.

I am a very simple priest and whenever parishioners would take notice of the thick, gold-chained bracelet on my wrist, as well as the gold necklace, I would always respond that it was a gift from God through our INA (Mother), Our Lady of Penafrancia, for being continually his priest.

Thanks be to God for the family heirlooms that a pilgrim entrusted to me!  More than that, we Catholics are also the recipients of generations upon generations worth of heirlooms, which is the substance of our faith.  Faith is a gift from God to us and, in appreciation and gratitude, we should always respond to it in whatever state of life we are in, as a layperson or as ordained.  Faith is also worth more than all the gold in the world, as it was bought by the blood of our martyrs and saints.

Fr. Allan S. Fenix

TRIO

I love to listen to how people talk and often, when I would overhear their conversations, I would find that many of them were fond of using such letters and words as “O.M.G.” (Oh My Gosh! Oh My God! Oh My Goodness!) or “Jesus, Mary and Joseph!” as an exclamation, a habitual expression or just a conversation filler. I guess this is for want of more right words to say.  However, I also noticed that I seldom heard the Holy Spirit mentioned. Why is this?  Is it because we cannot sense it, as it is a spirit?

When the Holy Trinity was first taught to us in the past, I would often associate it with a musical trio; a band composed of siblings possessing a close harmony with each other. I thought of them as the greatest hit of the '70s and '80s, dishing out their lively disco music.

The Advocate, the Holy Spirit that the Father will send in my name, he will teach you everything and remind you of all that I told you. John 4:26

Although we were taught in our catechism that the Holy Trinity, the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, are one and the same, in their individual roles there seems to be some sort of gradation – a hierarchy. So, it is not surprising that among the three, the Holy Spirit seems to be the least popular. He seems to just stay in the background. Even in the rosary, he was only actively mentioned once, in the third glorious mystery, the descent of the Holy Spirit among the apostles.

As an advocate, the Holy Spirit supports the Father and the Son by teaching and reminding. Unseen and unheard, it is the Holy Spirit that brings us peace, which is what the world truly needs and wants.

Not out in front. Not on the vocals. Not the lead. The peace that the Holy Spirit brings covers the whole wide world. It should be included among our most basic necessities. We might have the right food, clothing, shelter, medicine and education.  However, without peace we will not be able to fully and truly enjoy all of it, as our hearts will be full of fear and trouble.

Peace is free and it only comes to us from the Holy Spirit.

Fr. Allan S. Fenix

HIGH-END

Once, I was talking with a woman and asked if she had any children, to which she just kept on repeating to me, L.O.V., L.O.V., L.O.V.. So, I surmised that, perhaps, she only wanted the LOVE but not the consequences – children.

But no! She said that what she meant was that she was on her way to the bank to take out a loan and buy herself an L.O.V. Later on, I came to know that L.O.V. is an acronym for a very high-end line of women's leather hand bags.

Once, my sister visited me and we went window shopping. We found ourselves in a high-end store selling all these high-end hand bags, and she was interested in buying one. Seeing the several digits price tag, I tried to discourage her from doing so. She waited until we got home and, when I was out of sight, went back on her own to that store and bought herself the most coveted kind of hand bag. I found it out later on when she left me a giveaway item that I traced back to that store we visited earlier.

“What is in a hand bag?” As someone who only owns a few set of clothes, I keep on asking this question of women. Why are there those who will sacrifice having children over a hand bag?!  Some answered that they would just like to flaunt what they have. Though it merely would contain a few trivial items, the bigger the size the better to parade it around showing to others that they have “made it.” “I am very successful,” it says.

This is how all will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another. John 13: 35

As Christians, LOVE should be our sole and authentic high-end trademark. We have to sacrifice everything to achieve it, possess it, own it and live it. Its price tag is steep: To live it is to die in it.

Jesus Christ, our Savior, showed his LOVE for us by going up “HIGH” on the cross and “END”ing his life up there for all of us. Now, that is LOVE, LIVE and on an all time HIGH, and not merely an L.O.V., a product, that, in time, will get old and moldy, go out of fashion, and, when tried of it, consigned to a second-hand store or discarded.

Fr. Allan S. Fenix

STOP. LOOK. LISTEN.

One of my favorite bible stories is when the Lord appears to Samuel:

...the Lord called Samuel. He answered, “Yes, Sir!” and ran to Eli and said, “You called me, and here I am.” But Eli answered, “I didn't call you go back to bed.” So Samuel went back to bed. The Lord called Samuel again. The boy did not know that it was the Lord, because the Lord had never spoken to him before. So he got up, went to Eli, and said, “You called me, and here I am.” But Eli answered, “My Son, I didn't call you; go back to bed.” The Lord called Samuel a third time; he got up, went to Eli, and said, “You called me, and here I am.” Then Eli realized that it was the Lord who was calling the boy, so he said to him, “Go back to bed; and if he calls you again, say, 'Speak, Lord, your servant is listening.'” So Samuel went back to bed. The Lord came and stood there and called as he had before, “Samuel! Samuel!” Samuel answered, “Speak; your servant is listening” 1 Samuel 3: 4-10.

I love the silence and freshness of every early morning, for it is the highlight of my day. I always look forward to it, as it is a time to be one with my Liturgy of the Hours. As I go through the Office of Readings and Morning Prayer to open up the day, I really listen to what God would like to say to me before celebrating the mass, and before the different noises of the world distract me.

In every moment of our everyday waking lives, from the time we open our eyes, and up until we close them to end our day, there are many different kinds of noise vying for our precious attention. There is the noise of one who is so aggressive in selling us something- a product or service. And, especially during the election period, there is also the noise of the ones soliciting our votes: “Please do choose me!” And there is the noise of the news outfits trying to make us believe in the brand of news and the ideologies they are propagating.

Where can we go to free ourselves from all of these noises? We have to unplug ourselves from our gadgets and devices and, like Samuel, seek time for prayer and say, “Speak, your servant here is listening.”

I live in a very simple parish and always close the day by bringing our patroness saint around to the nearby households. We pray the rosary and, as a community, really listen to what God is telling us.

We say, “Speak, your servant is listening.”

Father Allan S. Fenix

TO FEED. TO TEND.

Back in the days of analog technology, whenever we had to set up an external antenna, we looked for a good spot where we could catch a good signal – get good reception, good frequency modulation, and pick up a lot of nearby and distant stations.

One day, while I was walking by the port area, I happened by the steering room of a large fishing boat. One of the men there explained to me the use of the sonar tracking equipment I found hanging on a panel. They used it to determine the exact spot where the most schools of fish congregate. In the analog days, he said, they just wild guessed for a good place, and just kept throwing their nets anywhere and everywhere until they hit the right spot.

In our church, there are two kinds of priest. The first is the one who can write and frame well their thoughts and ideas on paper. However, he cannot verbally communicate it very effectively. The second can speak, enunciate, entertain and hold the attention span of his parishioners for hours. However, he doesn't have the time to put everything in print and writing. Soon his thoughts and ideas just vanish and are gone. Future students will not find anything of his to research and pass on to the coming generations.

In the third time that Jesus revealed himself to his disciples after being raised from the dead, he gave us priests two tasks – to FEED and to TEND his sheep. By inviting the disciples to have breakfast after the miraculous catch of one hundred fifty three large fish, and by coming over and taking the bread and giving it to them and in like manner the fish, he set the proper example for us. Reference John 21.

We priests would sometimes come as actors; as messiahs; as experts. We would involve ourselves in so many activities and projects in which we hold no expertise. These tended to pull us far away from our primary concern as shepherds – to FEED and to TEND the people with the Word of God and the Holy Eucharist. This is what the people really need.  Armed with this in their faith, the people themselves become experts in their own right. We do not just impose it upon them. By themselves they can navigate in and out of any situations they find themselves in.

BUSY! NO TIME! Humbug! How many priests put so much time into their other activities and projects that there is no time to celebrate the Holy Eucharist at least once a day, or to even open the pages of their Liturgy of the Hours? It's like they subcontract it. There were a lot of activities and programs in our church which were launched but went nowhere after the priest left. They just crashed and burned on the ground. It was like a rocket that blasted off, was launched high into the sky, and got lost in outer space.

As priests, when we FEED and TEND our sheep that is where we will find the good spot, with the good signal reception on all the frequencies, and the full school of fish – a catch of people for the Kingdom.

We priests must not be technocrats on stilts. We must heed the invitation of Jesus Christ to FEED and to TEND his sheep and follow him to his crucifixion.

Fr. Allan S. Fenix

HUNGRY EYES

Are you an educated believer or merely a religion junkie?

We Catholics are fond of crowding our home altars, and even personal living spaces, with religious icons. And with the various moving ups and graduations occurring all around us, academic titles, achievement citations of every kind, plaques, diplomas, degrees – all have been distributed, framed and hung on the walls for everyone who cares to see. Does this stuff really make us an educated believer or merely a religion junkie?

It has been many years since I earned my own degree and left the academy. It was a wonder – a big “Ah-ha!” moment on my part – to have lately discovered the presence of the documentary stories, narratives and programs, and enrichment and supplemental information of the seminary on the internet. It updated everything I had previously brought with me from behind the seminary walls. It is a sort of an ongoing formation for me.

There are several movies, hobbies, activities, etc., that I saw way back when I was in grade school that I didn't understand then and understand only now through the internet. Through its analysis and reviews I am just now gaining the whole comprehension of these matters. With my hungry eyes, ever-questioning mind, and wildly wandering heart, I binge watched on the internet, trying to absorb everything that, up to that point, I had spent hours dipping deeply into and not fully understanding. Even if granted those degrees, diplomas, citations, and titles – how many of them would I earn with flying colors? Or is it all just a distraction and an escape on my part? Am I really becoming a more educated believer, or just merely a religion junkie?

I've met not a few people who, for various reasons, did not undergo the usual educational process that most of us did. However, with a firm character, they presented themselves so knowledgeable about many topics, trends and issues, and they learned everything online. They have nothing to show on their walls in terms of diplomas, degrees and the like. But, they are very credible individuals. They always lug with them a notebook and pen and scribble on it anything of value they encounter both online and offline. Any new words, any new observations, and just about anything new is outlined in their notes. They sometimes borrow my personal dictionary to look for the proper meaning of a word. I advised them to make simple sentences and then we discussed it further. They have educated themselves.

Jesus said to him, " Have you come to believe because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and have believed. " John 20:29

Just as a truly educated person need not display walls full of academic achievements and titles, so too truly believing in God need not also mean displaying a hundred to a thousand religious icons, cluttered in and around our living spaces. Rather, it is seen in how we present ourselves and in the strength of our character.

Fr. Allan S. Fenix

FINAL DESTINATION

Destination. Whenever I take an international flight, I feel both a mixture of dread and joy, as it always reminds me of my own death. This is due not only to the risk involved, but because the pilot usually makes a very loud announcement whenever the plane makes a stopover landing. At every airport I hear the neutral but loaded words, “Final Destination.” Of course, on the other hand, there is the joy for getting nearer to reaching my own intended temporal destination. It was a temporal destination falsely perceived as my ultimate one, which is...

Eternity. Once, having bought a cheaper ticket and with it a layover of several hours, I decided to explore the place and immediately got enchanted by what I heard and saw...

There was discipline all around. The place was shouting cleanliness, neatness and orderliness. The people looked slim, fit and polite. The immigration officer stamped a 90-day stay on my passport. I told myself that I could really live here for awhile and savor it. However, I decided not to. I knew it was not for me when I saw the amount shown on the bus ticket just to ride around and look at the place. It burned a big hole in my pocket. The place is so beautiful but it is just too exorbitantly expensive.

This place is not really for me as I have to go to the....

Almighty. All throughout the day, I oftentimes hear his name being called as a surprise exclamation or response from the mouths of many people: OMG. “Oh my God!!!”  Do we really know him to be our God? It baffles our very limited human minds to try to expound more on someone whom we merely call using a single syllabic, three-letter word: GOD. As much as we can grasp it, he created everything we see all around us, vertically and horizontally, including everything we learn in our natural sciences, and everything in the abyss of desolation, which is the boundless universe.

What more do we know about him?

Let us go...  Life is going...  Towards...

On the first day of the week, Mary of Magdala CAME to the tomb early in the morning... So she RAN and WENT to Simon Peter... So Peter and the other disciple WENT OUT and CAME to the tomb. They both RAN, but the other disciple RAN FASTER than Peter and ARRIVED at the tomb first... When Simon Peter ARRIVED, he WENT into the tomb,... The other disciple also WENT IN, and he SAW and BELIEVED... John 20: 1 and forward.

Life is looking forward not backwards. It is a constant conversion. Turning from darkness to light. From worst to the better; to the best. Like a fine wine, it just gets sweeter and tastier by the day. In life, there is no turning back, my friend.

Jesus replied, “No one who puts a hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.” (Luke 9: 62).

Life looks toward and forward to...

Holiness. This is our universal mission. Everyday, we are invited to shoot for the moon and the stars. To sail much much farther away from the relative safety of the shore. We are called to be SAINTS in the midst of our flaws and imperfections.

This is the DEATH that awaits us all. By the corners, by the roadsides, at the end of our roads. Death is our FINAL DESTINATION.

Fr. Allan S. Fenix

THE JESUS EXPRESSO

I am a very early morning person. I love the somber atmosphere, and listening to the various chirpings of the birds outside by my window, while sipping my so-called “Jesus Expresso” to fully wake me up to face another exciting day of life. Lord, deliver this day to me...

I was once a postal worker, and every morning, while our mail carriers were securing the parcels we had earlier scanned and sorted for their route deliveries, I would often hear them exclaiming to one another that some of their customers were ordering something online almost weekly or on a regular basis. “What were they doing with it?” I just told them, “Keep it cool, man! This is where we get our bread and butter! Without these parcels, where would our much-awaited paychecks come from?”

We are never satisfied. There is never an end, a period nor a stop to all of our caprices, desires, and debaucheries. We always want more of that, more of this, more of theirs...

No wonder we have a lot of clutter and waste all around us. Of course, ultimately, we never blame ourselves. By nature, we stand accused of being “non satis est” – not satisfied enough. We are never satisfied because this term is never a part of our character lexicon.

The people stood by and watched; the rulers, meanwhile, sneered at him and said, 'He saved others, let him save himself if he is the chosen one, the Christ of God.” ... “If you are King of the Jews, save yourself”... “Are you not the Christ? Save yourself and us.” Luke 22: 35, 36, 39

Just like with many of our electoral candidates vying for our precious votes, we immediately extend our open hands to God, asking him to deliver on our selfish expectations, caprices, desires, and debaucheries. We are eagerly looking toward God to get these matters accomplished, and according to our own deadlines. Let us see if he can really deliver on his Words and promises, as we heard it read from the sacred scriptures. How about us, can we, at least, be proactive with our personal salvation by standing up and delivering on our promises?

“Let us see! Let us see! Let us see!” With God, we are spoiled brats. We are in a lazy stupor contentedly perpetuating our stance of just standing by and watching what will happen. We sit by whiling away the time and procrastinating.

“Let us see! Let us see! Let us see!” Our attitude towards our salvation is passive aggressive. We beat around the bush. We don't want to get our feet wet. We are outside the loop looking in. We are just staring at a screen.

We have to be proactive. We have to initiate and anticipate matters. We have to counteract our being “non satis est” persons. We have to stand up, carry our ton of crosses and deliver on our promises.

And this is done with more Jesus Expresso, please!

Fr. Allan S. Fenix

PORTALIB

Back in the days when there was still no electricity in our area, each household used to have battery-operated portable radios as our sole source of information and entertainment. In the evenings after dinner, we would usually gather around eagerly and excitedly awaiting to listen to our long-running and never-ending soap operas.

With the advent and explosion of varied outdoor activities, a new kind of business boomed: portable toilets. This was shortened to portalets. It is a vast relief to those out in the field and especially for those with incontinence problems.

In our parishes and many of our schools today, satellite dishes are already ubiquitous in even virtual shacks and lean-tos. And, added to that, are the computer game shops mushrooming everywhere; a hive for many of our bored children, especially during the long summer vacations. So, who still gets to read nowadays?

Within a several kilometers radius, we don't have functional libraries to borrow and read books from. So, in talking about portables, in my own small way, what I did was to introduce the Bible as a portable library -- a portalib. With the total of 73 varied books from the Old and New Testaments, it practically is one. This is our new life hack.

Usually on weekends, our grade school-level altar servers would come and clean the parish church. After they were finished, I would invite them to our makeshift pastoral center and let them read from the numerous donated copies of the bible. As they read orally, I discovered that many of them were not reading at their grade levels. Many of them were falling far behind.

So, after their oral readings, I let them use my dictionary to look for the words they encountered that they didn't understand. They would copy the meanings on paper, and I would let them make simple sentences out of them. I would then have them read it again orally and repeatedly until they had a grasp or mastery of the word. And, voila!, we have here a lesson plan on literary education, devotion and the Word of God. It is killing three birds with one stone.

This practice works the same way in our distant coastal villages. Right before the celebration of the Eucharist, while we are still waiting for stragglers, I ask volunteers from the children and young people to read from the Bible and the novena orally in front of the microphone. I wish them to build their self confidence, reading skills, devotion and knowledge of the Word of God. With the constant repetition and much patience, I am sure we are on the right track. We are, again, killing three birds with just one stone.

Fr. Allan S. Fenix

AD HOMINEM

They said to him, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the very act of committing adultery. Now in the law, Moses commanded us to stone such women. So what do you say?” John 8: 4-5

I read that one can learn a lot about someone within just three minutes of meeting them.

My party, right or wrong! During every election period, there are some candidates who wanting to distract voters and will dig for dirt deep in the closets of their opponents. They search for rotting bones for the very purpose of producing blackmail propaganda and smear campaigns.

In this day and age of fake news and alternative media, consumers are in a dilemma try to determine news organization to still trust and believe in, as each of them has their own version on the issues based upon their own political and moral slants.

In the study of philosophy, particularly logic, Argumentum Ad Hominem is a falsity, as it is something directed against a person rather than the position they are maintaining. It is an attack on the person which is completely irrelevant to the argument that someone is making. This is usually done by one party getting desperate when it cannot anymore find a decent counter argument: when they find themselves pushed and shoved to the wall.

Sometimes this comes from our family members, colleagues or coworkers. It happens almost everywhere, and in every kind of situation in which people find themselves cornered or put in a very uncomfortable situation. They will, as much as possible, fight their way out of it by attacking the person. As we say, “...it is getting personal.” Which is, of course, very painful.

Then Jesus straightened up and said to her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” She replied, “No one, sir!” Then Jesus said, “Neither do I condemn you. Go, and from now on do not sin anymore.” John 8: 10-11

Focus on the facts and not on the person. On the sin and not the sinner. By this, one will know how civil and mature a person has become.

Fr. Allan S. Fenix

PORTA SANCTAS

In our parish, we call them the usual suspects. Except on Sundays and other special occasions, we only have three to four regular mass-goers on weekdays. Once the three or four of them are at mass, we are certain that no one else will be coming. We expect no one else to arrive after them.

One weekday morning, and for the next few days, I was surprised not to see anyone of them. I alone celebrated the mass. After some time, when they were back in their usual places, I came to know that it was already the election season when local candidates would, from time to time, come to town and distribute some relief goods, usually put in personalized plastic bags containing a few kilos of rice, canned goods, instant noodles, the usual contents.

As we were in the election season, I noticed that the presence of our three to four regular weekday mass-goers was becoming intermittent. They would usually fall in line very early in the morning at the covered court where the distribution would happen and wait for their turn to receive the goods.

I missed them for a few days. Then, after everything was consumed and gone, I expected them to be back at their favorite places in church celebrating the weekday Eucharist with us.

In my life, as I keep reflecting on the greatest parable which is that of the prodigal son, it brings to mind the time of the Extraordinary Jubilee of Mercy declared by Pope Francis whereby he said that “The Holy Door will become a Door of Mercy through which anyone who enters will experience the love of God who consoles, pardons and instills hope.”

In my mind, I can picture the scene: “So he got up and went back to his father. While he was still a long way, his father caught sight of him, and was filled with compassion. He ran to his son, embraced him and kissed him.” Luke 15:20

The actions of the father and the son, running fast toward each other in the parable, represents the passage from sin to grace. It symbolizes the internal renewal which began with the willing desire to make peace with God, reconcile with our neighbors, restore in ourselves everything that has been damaged in the past, and reshape our hearts through conversion.

I shall get up and go to my father and I shall say to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I no longer deserve to be called your son; treat me as you would treat one of your hired workers.” Luke 15: 18-19

Our churches, with there wide open main doors, side doors and other entrances, are like the compassionate father in the parable. They often catch sight of us while we were still a long way off, and, filled with compassion, run to meet, embrace and kiss us. Our churches are our portas sanctas (holy doors). Always there silently standing, witnessing and waiting for us to confess, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you; I no longer deserve to be called your son” Luke 15:21.

Have you darkened your nearby church lately?

Fr. Allan S. Fenix

KYRIE ELIESON

In the nursing home kitchen where I worked before, I often saw the delivery of boxes with the big word “PERISHABLE” printed on top of them. Our supervisor informed us that these items were very time sensitive. They were delicate and expensive. So, we would immediately mark and store them in the large walk-in freezer and refrigerator located in the basement. We always maintained a certain low temperature level to keep these items fresh and good.

The items contained in those boxes were full of preservatives. Nevertheless, we were able to prepare something of nice quality and good nutritional value for the residents to help keep them healthier and stronger for a much longer time.

There was one occasion when we were all so busy in the kitchen that we did not notice the presence of such perishable items that were just stacked up outside the doors of the two walk-ins by the delivery person. By the time we were able to get our hands on them, some were already getting stale or watery. With the condition of our residents, to avoid any form of food poisoning, many of the said items had to be discarded.

KYRIE ELIESON! What a great waste! I was the one tasked to do it, and it really broke my heart to be the one tossing all this food into the garbage compactor. I knew it was our combined fault that it happened. Everyone of us was so preoccupied in the kitchen that we were caught unaware of what was happening down there in the basement.

Repentance is what keeps our faith, our church, and our community fresh and new. We have to be inside the Church to do it.

In the very beginning of the mass, the first part is the KYRIE ELIESON (Lord have mercy upon us) by which we invoke of God's mercy and forgiveness for all of our sins to ourselves, to others and to Him. We do this that we might be fully disposed of our sins in accepting him in Holy Communion in the later part of the mass.

This part of the mass plays a very important role in our liturgy, as without it Christianity would be a philosophy, a history, a code but not a religion that saves. Without it, our liturgical rites and everything that we do inside the Church would turn stale and watery and only fit to be thrown in the garbage. It would be of no benefit and no good for anything but to be discarded and forgotten.

Keep yourselves and your faith inside the Church. For as Jesus said, "..... If you do not repent, you will all perish as they did.” Luke 13: 3

Fr. Allan S. Fenix

Living in a very distracted age, where almost everyone is preoccupied with something, where do people have to go to really pray and listen to God – to get better divine reception in their hearts?

In the analog past, most especially in the countryside, to watch our favorite television programs we used to rely on outdoor element antennas attached to long, metal pipes installed atop our roofs. Program reception, according to weather conditions, varied from day to day. There was no guarantee of clear and crisp entertainment to end a long day.

Now in the digital age, cell towers dot mountain tops where, for sure,t here is the least interference coming from any direction. That is where, one day, Jesus took Peter, John and James to pray. While there, the signal strength and sensitivity were so good and strong that, “While he was praying his face changed in appearance and his clothing became dazzling white. And, behold, two men were conversing with him, Moses and Elijah, who appeared in glory and spoke of his exodus that he was going to accomplish in Jerusalem.” With this kind of full bar reception, it is not surprising that even Peter proposed that “Master, it is good that we are here; let us make three tents, one for you, one for Moses, and one for Elijah.” Luke 9: 29-31,33

All through the 1990s, there was an MTV (Music Television) program called “Unplugged,” wherein music originally played employing electrical instruments was performed acoustically and in much quieter and smaller venues.

For me, that is my prayer style. It is going back to the basics by getting far away from the interference coming from nearby outlets. It is like unplugging myself from all attachments and connections so I can once again climb up a mountain and experience, in analog mode, the glory of God, unfiltered and with full, raw power. With this kind of quality reception, like Peter, I could spend hours and hours just savoring it to the point of setting up my own tent so as to just let time pass by without noticing it.

Fr. Allan S. Fenix 

PRIMORDIAL

It was First Holy Communion time in our parish and, along with the crisp certificates that were issued for the occasion, there was supposed to be a brown scapular and rosary beads for each communicant. Someone had donated theses items for this purpose, but the donated items were very limited in number, and the entire supply was exhausted in the villages prior to the service. There were none available to be given to the first communicants from the parish.

The situation in our parish is that a parent cannot even afford to give a child, coming home hungry from school P5.00 (10 US cents) to buy three tiny pieces of bread. Instead, this money goes to the so-called STL (Small Town Lottery), as these individuals hope against hope to win a few thousand pesos. And this place is also located several hours from the nearest store selling the tickets.

So the night before, we were already resigned to the fact that our first communicants wouldn't be receiving anything except the crisp certificate. They would go home, put it on their altars and just stare at it. However, wonder of wonders, as we were about to close down for the night, something forced us to feverishly go through our drawers and bureaus, and we found a plastic bag full of specially-designed, handmade wooden crosses. I heard from certain parishioners that they were donated a long, long time ago but were forgotten in the fast flow of time.

We immediately thanked our patron saint for not abandoning our first communicants. On the day of their first communion, not only did they received a nicely printed certificate, but also a blessed, specially-designed, handmade wooden cross. Even the parents and visitors got one. There were more than enough for everyone.

As each cross came with no cord or chain, I posed the challenge to each recipient that, depending on their own resourcefulness and creativity, I would like to see how they were going to string it up and wear it. I also reminded them not to take it for granted or else something not good might befall them.

Those specially-designed handmade wooden crosses saved the day. Our celebration was so meaningful for the children. I am sure they won't forget the day they first received the Body and Blood of Our Lord, Jesus Christ.

Fr. Allan S. Fenix

IMPROVISATION

One Sunday, after celebrating the mass in our parish church, I traveled by motorboat for more than an hour to one of our coastal villages to celebrate another mass.

While there, I learned that there was a wake, and that the family was requesting to have their departed loved one blessed before being interred in the cemetery. I went through my mass kit and discovered that I did not have with me the Book of Blessings and the Holy Water. However, I did have the Mass Book.

What I did, after the mass, was to invite the mass goers to make a procession from the chapel to the place of the wake. The parishioners present were so cooperative that almost everyone joined in. With the thurible in front, we walked through the small streets of the village, where even some curious villagers along the way joined in. We walked until we came to a shack surrounded by drunk all-night revelers – a common sight at countryside wakes.

When we arrived inside, I read a passage from the Preface of the Dead followed by the recitation of the rosary. Then I ended it with another reading of a passage from the Preface of the Resurrection, a message of condolence to the family and a final blessing for the dead.

I approached and placed my own rosary and a copy of the Chaplet of the Divine Mercy on top of the coffin. Our communal prayers and presence will be enough for him to zoom out of this life and zoom into the everlasting life.

 Fr. Allan S. Fenix

CONTAINERS

In our catechism class, we were taught that sloth is the playground of the devil. If there is one thing that God gave us, it is the abundance of time. What do we do to make use of it?

In our lives, we must fill our seconds, our minutes, our hours, our days, our weeks, our months and our years with good thoughts and intentions so as to not give the devil the chance to play with us.

Let us take a simple poll. Have you ever experienced drinking alcoholic or acidic beverages on an empty stomach or while feeling hungry? For sure, you did not feel well, but, rather, nauseated, with a loss of energy and a general weakness.

I read that in shopping for food one should not do it on an empty stomach or one will end up buying more than one needs. It's the same way with the mind and the heart. One should be mindful and critical of what one is listening to, reading, watching, and talking about with other people. If we are unaware, it might be leading us into a sinful desire for power, glory and pride. The devil might become our favorite seductive playmate.

In Luke 4:12, after the devil had offered to Jesus all worldly power and glory if only he would worship him, Jesus said to him in reply, “It also says, you shall not put the Lord, your God, to the test.”

The stomach, the brain and the heart are containers that should never be left empty. They should always be filled up with good food, good thoughts and good intentions.

Fr. Allan Fenix

CHIMNEYS

Our “pre-gas and electric stove” house, where our large family grew up, was built with a chimney connected to our dirty kitchen stove by an elongated metal pipe. Using either firewood or charcoal to cook, it produced a lot of soot.

Being an old structure, it was one of the few houses in the neighborhood equipped with a chimney. Whenever it spewed out smoke, people standing nearby the house could quickly guess what our help was preparing for our next meal.

I have a very wild imagination. So, whenever I saw our chimney spewing smoke up into the sky, I often imagined our house moving at a high speed and on the go, like those coal and steam powered trains and passenger ships I often saw in western movies.  It also reminded me of a painting I saw about a series of factory smokestacks aggressively belching out the heavy, polluting smoke that is gradually killing the environment. Among our peers, we often compare someone who incessantly chainsmokes to a chimney.

In the human anatomy, the mouth is the chimney of the body. It is where the contents of the mind and heart cooked up in the brain goes out. According to Mark 7:15, 21-23; " Nothing that enters one from outside can defile that person; but the things that come out from within are what defile... From within people, from their hearts come evil thoughts, unchastity, theft, murder, adultery, greed, malice, deceit, licentiousness , envy, blasphemy, arrogance, folly. All these evils come from within and they defile.

I often remind people to be very careful of the tone, words and terms they use in dealing with others, as they could either bring damage for life or spiritual death. A whip is better, as the scar it causes can easily be healed and forgotten. But, not words. They can leave a lifetime of unforgettable and unfading lingering scars.

What is in your conscience and in your heart? We invest a lot in our dental hygiene. We take good care of our precious remaining teeth. We are aware of when the last time was we went to the dentist. And so it is with our mouth. We must never neglect to always patronize the Sacrament of the Reconciliation, where in that small, screened room our mouth – our chimney – spews out all the soot, all the pollutants, all the poisons we have in our minds and hearts.

May we go out and go home a renewed person. For, “A good person out of the store of goodness in his heart produces good, but an evil person out of a store of evil produces evil, for from the fullness of the heart the mouth speaks.” Luke 6:45

Fr. Allan S. Fenix

BLESSED WOES 

Among the Beatitudes, the following three of them speak loudly to me as I, myself, have had first-hand experience on how true they are to me in my life...

Blessed are you who are now hungry, for you will be satisfied... During peak travel seasons like Christmas and New Year, bus terminals are overflowing with passengers with their bursting luggage, waiting for available buses that can bring them home.  Every empty bus approaching is a sight to behold, as bored and eager passengers storm it to full capacity, as it then immediately leaves the terminal for its various destinations. Be blessed and God-speed.

Woe to you who are filled now, for you will be hungry... Once or twice, I attended a traditional Chinese banquet where eight courses of the menu were being served and not all at the same time, as I am accustomed to. Rather, they were served one at a time and after long intervals of time.  Already feeling famished and getting impatient, what I did was unleash my ravenous appetite on the first course servings. So I was just staring disinterestedly by the time the fourth, fifth, and sixth courses were being placed on the table. I was already feeling full and satisfied earlier on.

Woe to you who are rich, for you have received your consolation... Lottery games are very popular everywhere, as the adrenaline rush that they arouse satisfies the cravings of the so-called “reward system” deep inside the brain  People pool and bet their hard-earned money and excitedly await the drawing dates, and then do this again and again for another and another. There is no end to the consolations they receive, and it is gradually becoming so addictive.

How about you? Which of the Beatitudes speak to you? Then, share them!

Fr. Allan S. Fenix

THE HOLY SPIRIT WORKS

Expectations, both real and unreal, flood our lives. To have an expectant attitude is like talking to the wind, hoping that something happens according to one's desires and plans.

That is why, perhaps, I can empathize with the strong feelings of the people who came to listen to Jesus in the synagogue. “Today this scripture passage is fulfilled in your hearing.” And all spoke highly of him and were amazed at the gracious words that came from his mouth. They also asked, “Isn't this the son of Joseph” Luke 4: 21-22.

When I first received my passport, the first thing I did was to go visit the Disney World in Hong Kong. I thought, “I am going to fully enjoy the experience.” However, I felt a bit sad that everything that I encountered there, from the entrance down to the last ride and character, were all make-believe. I can no longer find the sense of wonder and awe that filled me when I was a small child, just reading and watching all of the Disney characters in their colorful comic books, and on television programs. I did not expect the experience to be that way. For me, at that point in my life, everything just seemed very ordinary.

During my adult life, I have also tried to develop devotional practices and relationships with the different saints that I heard from others brought them all kinds of windfalls. I prayed all the novena pamphlets that I found just strewn by the church main entrance. I told myself that, perhaps, five saintly heads would be better than one.

I completed all of the required days for the novena prayers expecting, in the end, the fulfillment of my petitions. However, in the end, all I heard was complete and total silence. I felt so frustrated that nothing materialized. I did not expect it to be this way. It did not work as promised. So, I said to myself, "It might be effective and good for others, but not for me."

When the people in the synagogue heard this, they were all filled with fury. They rose up, drove him out of the town, and led him to the brow of the hill on which their town had been built, to hurl him down headlong. But he passed through the midst of them and went away. Luke 4: 28-30

For a time, I stopped all of the devotional practices in my life to look for better perspectives. Then, when I shared it with my spiritual director and with others who might be able to impart some wisdom to me, they all told me to stop analyzing and rationalizing. Instead, they told me to just let the Holy Spirit work in my life. Do not go on living inside your head but surrender to the Holy Spirit.

I lengthened my more silent meditations and really tried to just listen. I found out that everything really does work. I just have to keep on expecting that the Holy Spirit will work on me.

Fr. Allan Fenix

SPIRITS and BOOZE

When the wine ran short the mother of Jesus said to him, “They have no wine.” And Jesus said to her, “Woman, how does your concern affect me? My hour has not yet come.” His mother said to the servers, “Do whatever he tells you.” John 2: 3-5

I read some survey results as to why many livelihood training programs were often geared towards women, particularly to mothers of family households. They found out that, when they earned something out of the activity, they would usually invest it in the welfare of their families. The money would be spent on household necessities such as food for the table, clothes for the children, utility bill payments, needed medicines, and shelter improvements.

On the other hand, according to their findings, their male counterparts would usually spend it on vices like gambling, drinking, or worse, drugs.

My father, when he was still alive, used to run a convenience store selling cheap liquors and tobacco. However, when he passed away and one of our siblings took over the business, she decided to do away with the cigarettes and liquor inventories. Instead, she focused on selling school supplies and family household necessities. For her, selling smokes and booze had become a moral issue, as we were seeing too many fathers of families buying these things to indulge their vices. Some were even pawning valuables to buy them to share with their drinking buddies. However, they bought nothing to give their children. They did not buy even a kilo or two of rice, school supplies, cough medicines, or pay long overdue electric bills. And then later on they were getting sick.

At first we were fearful, as frequent patrons would warn us that they wouldn't come back to our store if they couldn't buy the said sin products that they came for. They told us our business might lose a lot of money and close down, as this kind of merchandise really means a lot profit-wise.  After a certain period of time, we observed that the business was able to adjust, gain the correct customers, and later even thrived without those high profit products.

Everyone serves good wine first, and then when people have drink freely, an inferior one, but you have kept the good wine until now. John 2:10

We are called to contribute something to the community. What do we contribute? A cheap inferior wine? That's like promoting and supporting vice-inducing lifestyle products. In doing this, we endorse the death industry. Death to families. Death to good relationships. Death to friendships. Death to worthwhile ambitions and plans. Death to what is good and proper.

If we put out the good wine first, we help promote and support life and health – the real happiness. We have, then, a strong and spirit-filled community to be of service to the family, the church, the society, the nation and the world. We will be like a mother, like the Blessed Virgin Mary, giving us life – Our Lord, Jesus Christ.

Fr. Allan S. Fenix

ON FIRE

“And the Holy Spirit descended upon him in bodily form like a dove. And a voice came from heaven, You are my beloved Son; with you I am well pleased.” Luke 3: 22

One day, I went to visit a coastal village where potable water was scarce. So, I wondered to myself, “How do inhabitants survive such a condition?” While I was there looking around, I saw several large, plastic containers installed on raised platforms in the area. Whenever it rained, water was caught and stored in those containers to be consumed, little by little, in the following months of dryness and aridity.

Once, I saw a wide swathe of land full of lush vegetation in the middle of a desert. It was constantly being irrigated.

God is well pleased with us. He does not abandon us. What a thing to behold!

From these two incidents that I have just shared, I came to admire how people living in that coastal village, and those living in the middle of the desert, were able to harness the gifts of nature, enabling them to live for another year with dignity and pride.

These incidents are the concrete living out made possible by all the gifts of God. Like Jesus received the gold, the frankincense and the myrrh from the Magi, we also receive the gifts that we need from God.

The gold is the 100 carat gold worth more than anything. It represents the pure capacity and strength to respond to God's invitation in the everyday living of our lives.

The frankincense reminds us of the shared responsibility of blessing and discerning everything that is around us. To see in ourselves the image and likeness of God, and see this also in the lives of other people. We have to respect our own dignity and that of others. All of this is the result of the Sacrament of Baptism whereby, we share in the priesthood of our Lord, Jesus.

Finally, we have the myrrh to remind us that eventually we have a divine destiny. No one among us will leave this earth alive. However, we have somewhere to go. From the womb to the tomb, God is well pleased with us. All of our gifts are given legitimacy through the Sacrament of Baptism.

Let us not limit ourselves like the people who were filled with expectation, and all were asking in their hearts whether John might be the Messiah. John answered them all, saying, “I am baptizing you with water, but one mightier than I is coming. I am not worthy to loosen the thongs of his sandals. He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and fire.” Luke 3: 15-16

We have more than John the Baptist baptizing in water. We have the Messiah baptizing us with the Holy Spirit and fire. If those people living in the coastal village and also those in the middle of the desert just surrendered to their situations, what would eventually happen to them?

Be on fire. Burn through the limitations we find ourselves in. We can live through all of it.

Fr. Allan Fenix.

LIFE SUMMARY

Jesus went about doing his mission by teaching, proclaiming the gospel of the Kingdom, and curing every disease and illness among the people. These three actions summarized the entire life of Jesus.

In the gospel of Mark 6: 34-44, regarding the multiplication of the five loaves of bread and two pieces of fish feeding thousands upon thousands of hungry people, we also saw an additional aspect of the life of Jesus – that of doing miracles.

A miracle is defined as a surprising and welcome act or event which does not follow the known laws of nature.

Anyone can teach well. In the same way that anyone can also proclaim the gospel of the Kingdom, and even cure every disease and illness among the people. However, it is solely God who can do miracles that defy the laws of nature. It is his sole monopoly. It is his exclusive brand and label.

In Peter's confession of faith, Jesus asked the twelve, “Do you want to leave, too?” Simon Peter replied , “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We believe and know that you are the Holy One of God.” John 6: 67-69

We are all a work in progress. We are not perfect. As it is said, “Be patient with me. I am not yet finished.” It is a lifetime scenario of trials and errors on our part. A lifetime of work and endeavor. It is only at the point of death when we cease and decease.

So, as long as we are still alive, we are reminded to continually ask ourselves, “What summarizes our life and mission here on earth?”

Fr. Allan S. Fenix

THE CRUCIFIX AND THE ICON SQUAD OF SAINTS

In the deep countryside, seeing a squad of soldiers doing their regular patrol reconnaissance is a familiar sight. A squad is usually made up of 6-10 soldiers led by a sergeant. A soldier is never alone on the road.

I walked into to this kind of scenario one day when I came to visit a sitio (subvillage) wherein the chapel had long since seen better times. But, at least, the decrepit structure was still there.

Upon entering the chapel, lo and behold, I saw an icon squad of saints, in full formation, flanking the crucified Christ. All eight of them, in various shapes, sizes, colors and conditions, were standing tall in front of the chapel altar keeping Christ company. It seems that all eight of them came and gathered to keep Christ and me company. They were all fully awake. Christ was not all alone on the cross.

The experience also brought me a tremendous sense of relief and consolation. It lifted me out of my earlier doldrums and drooping spirit.

A bit later on, residents were slowly trickling in to attend the Holy Eucharist, and I encouraged them to always frequent their chapel and seek spiritual communion with the crucified Christ, and with the strong squad of saints in front of them.

Many churches and sects might participate in a constant harsh criticism of our devotion to the saints. Let them all have it. But, thank you for the battalions of holy men and women in heaven. We will never be alone on the road with OUR crucified Christ.

 Fr. Allan S. Fenix

THE ESTAMBAY PHENOMENON

An estambay (stand-by) is the local version of a bum who spends his life wandering from place to place and begging for food.

In the sacred scriptures, they were mentioned, particularly in Matthew 20: 3 and 6, in the Parable of the Laborers in the Vineyard: “The landowner going out at about the third hour he saw others standing idle in the market place... Then, at about the eleventh hour he went out and found more standing around, and he said to them, “Why have you been standing here idle all day?”

There are no official statistics for them. It is an unregulated lifestyle. However, by the looks of it, there is an abundance of them conspicuously situated in every part of our society.

Usually, estambay are found just sitting by the corner store or in any open space as if on an extended and indefinite wait. They are either playing some board games or cards, chain smoking, or quenching their thirst with cheap liquors. Whatever happened to our law on vagrancy?

It is no wonder that I overheard an expatriate saying that, from what he had heard, the country is going through an economic hardship. Look how these people are just sitting around the whole morning, and are drunk and singing late in the afternoon. Then, the next day, they are there again, repeating the same performance.

For me, how I wish I could post an ad urgently hiring anyone willing to browse and read book upon book of our unread and unused Holy Bible. In our parish, we have boxes full of the sleeping Good News. It is just there sitting and waiting for anyone interested and willing enough to ingest it and act on it.

Being an estambay is not inborn. No one was born one. Rather, it is a choice by one who, out of frustration, has just simply given up on hope, on life. They have thrown in the towel.

We again have to respect the law of gravity - get down. If possible, go down on all fours and start all over again. Get that towel back once again!  It is not too late.  There is truth to the saying that where there is life there is hope.  We will have plenty of time to lie down in our graves later on.

And, for sure, it is forever.

Father Allan S. Fenix

DIVINE COFFEE

Every weekday morning, to prepare the church for the coming Sunday, parishioners would come and clean for free. In turn, the parish prepares some snacks for them.

It was on such an occasion as this, while I was looking for some coffee in our pantry, that a parishioner approached to ask for some. She suddenly said that the coffee is, "for the humans."

At first, I was at a loss for the proper words. I was surprised by the term she had used. Then I came to myself and said, “I pray that people will not see me as inhuman (the worst), a cyborg (good), a superman (better), but holy (the best).

As a priest, I am an Alter Christus (Another Christ) who is God and Divine.  May I drink more to it.  More Divine Coffee please!

Fr. Allan S. Fenix

LOVE APPS

When Jesus was still with his disciples, they went through a period of formation where in an analog manner, he taught them about the “Love Application” made up of five programs: the love of enemies, doing good, and being a source of blessing, prayer and mercy.

In turn, each program is explained in detail.

To love our enemies and do good consists in offering the other cheek when someone strikes you, and not withholding one's tunic when someone needs it.

To be a source of blessing and prayer involves giving to everyone who asks, and not demanding back what was taken from you.

To be merciful is to be kind to the ungrateful and the wicked.

In a nutshell, the Love Application is the Golden Rule – Doing to others what you would have them do to you. “For the measure with which you measure will in return be measured out to you. So, stop judging and you will not be judged. Stop condemning and you will not be condemned. Forgive and you will be forgiven. Give and gifts will be given to you; a good measure, packed together, shaken down, and overflowing, will be poured into your lap.” Luke 6: 37-38

Thousands of centuries have passed by, and our cemeteries are already filled up. However, the Love Application, taught by Jesus to his disciples, is still very relevant to us nowadays.

Maybe, our initial reaction will be like that in John 6:60-61: On hearing it, many of His disciples said, “This is a difficult teaching. Who can accept it?” Aware that His disciples were grumbling about this teaching, Jesus asked them, “Does this teaching offend you?”

Usually, we hate the hard way. No one wants to undergo it. We are a brainwashed generation. Human nature often chooses the easy way, where there is the least resistance.

Like the ancient disciples and us ultra modern humans, it is natural for us to resist any change from the things we were brought up with and are well accustomed to: like loving those who love us, doing good to those who do good to us, lending money to those who can't repay us with high interest.

At home, in schools, and in our churches, we are in continual formation. With time, perhaps, it has seemed to grow vague due to the various external influences, adornments and garnishes allowed in it.  In the end, again, the Love Application is the Golden Rule – doing to others what you would have them do to you.

Fr. Allan S. Fenix

WHAT IS THE DEAL?

For many, the title of my homily sounds similar to a very popular and exciting T.V. game show that some among us avidly love to watch. However, for me, ever since I have been studying the scriptures, there is one great question that keeps on bugging me. It's like the incessant sound of a mosquito in our ears while we are trying to get a good night's sleep – is God the Father the original blue print for a great salesperson?

Many who love to go shopping for a bargain are very discriminating concerning which product offers the best deal. Consequently, the business world uses this to their advantage by coming up with all kinds of gimmicks to conveniently facilitate the transfer of money from our wallets to their accounts and to their profit margins. That's why it is not surprising that we have in the marketplace all kinds of one, two, three in one promos – various items together in one very beautiful and enticing package.

At the very start of another new year in our lives, God the Father, the best ever salesperson, is offering us a lot of free giveaway items ready for the taking, and available to anyone who decides to accept his offer wholeheartedly.

“And Mary kept all these things, reflecting on them in her heart.” Luke 2:19

Today, we are celebrating Mothers' Day five months in advance. The first item being offered on the line is a mother – Our Blessed Virgin Mary.

The celebration of the Motherhood of Mary on the first day of the year reveals to us the soft-hearted nature of our God the Father. At the same time, this also shows us the essential role of women, not only in our families, but also in the Church and other institutions. A mother oozes with life, like him. God the Father would like to remind us of the tremendous role that women play in giving life.

The mother is the heart of the house, beating and giving life. Notice how sad a household is in the absence of a mother. From my own experience, whenever I am amidst difficulties and trials, I would usually just sit by staring intently on the calm and peaceful face of Our Blessed Virgin Mary. After some time doing it, everything starts to fall into its rightful place. It is from her we draw our pure strength and the will to go on; to take one more step and then another towards the completion and fulfillment of our goals.

Indeed, God is wise in making Mary the Mother of God or Theotokos, the God-bearer. He is making the best deal at the start of the year for anyone accepting the opportunity to gain for themselves a two for one – the Mother and the Son.

The more the better. They say that too many cooks spoil the broth, however at this time, the more the better, as we are getting the two best helping pair of hands ever in the form of our Blessed Virgin Mary and her Son, Jesus Christ. More power. More energy. More life....

Fr. Allan S. Fenix

METHOD

As we continue with the gospel according to John, we saw today how John the Baptist carried out his mission of bringing Christ to the world.

As a catechist today, we saw how he utilized one of the spiritual works of mercy by instructing the ignorant when he proclaimed: Behold the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world. He is the one of whom I said, “A man is coming after me who ranks ahead of me because he existed before me.” I did not know him, but the reason why I came baptizing with water was that he might be made known to Israel... I saw the Spirit come down like a dove from the sky and remain upon him. I did not know him, but the one who sent me to baptize with water told me. “On whomever you see the Spirit come down and remain, he is the one who will baptize with the Holy Spirit.” Now, I have seen and testified that he is the Son of God. John 1: 29-34

For the past day, we have been going through how the persons of the Blessed Virgin Mary and John the Baptist carried out their mission of bringing Jesus into the world. While the Blessed Virgin Mary is the Mother of God – the Theotokos, the God-bearer, for John the Baptist it is being the conduit of God's current through his voice and through the water.

Today, we saw God's method clearly applied with John the Baptist. Let us then continue in discovering for ourselves how we, also according to our own temperament, and innate resources, may fulfill our mission of bringing Christ into the world.

Fr. Allan S. Fenix

HOMAGE

Whenever we look up at the sky on a very clear, crisp night; when twinkling stars can be visibly witnessed with our own naked eyes; has it ever occurred to you to ask the question, “Do each one of those billions or, perhaps even, an infinite numbers of stars, somewhere far, far out there in the universe, represent each one of us individually, distinctly and uniquely?”

When Jesus was born in Bethlehem of Judea, in the days of King Herod, behold, Magi from the east arrived in Jerusalem, saying, " Where is the newborn King of the Jews? We saw his star at its rising and have come to do him homage. When King Herod heard this, he was greatly troubled... Assembling all the chief priests and the scribes of the people, he inquired of them where the Messiah was to be born. They said to him, “In Bethlehem of Judea... “ Matthew 2: 1-5

Like King Herod, we are also often troubled, and it takes other people coming from the outside like the Magi, to inform us that, indeed, the Messiah is already present inside of us. He is within our own, personal area. This happens because we are not at home. We are always somewhere but not at home inside ourselves.

In our lives, we lack the necessary initiative to look for the Messiah in our lives. Like King Herod who subcontracted his own search for the Messiah: He sent them to Bethlehem and said, “Go and search diligently for the child. When you have found him, bring me word, that I too may go and do him homage.” Matthew 2:8

Like King Herod who subcontracted his own search for the Messiah, we, too, in our lives lack the necessary initiative to look for him. Like the billions of twinkling stars out there in the far universe, we possess the necessary raw materials, but for us it is to find the Messiah in our lives – to make things happen.

We have to be at home with our own nature as the gold, frankincense and myrrh of our lives. We are the 100 carat gold worth more than anything: the gold that represents the pure capacity and strength in us to respond to God's initiative everyday of our lives.  King Herod pawned his gold for a very low amount when he let the Magi search for the Messiah and just inform him if they found him. No wonder in the end, the Magi departed for their country by another way.

In the Sacrament of Baptism, we share in the priesthood of Our Lord, Jesus Christ. And so we have the frankincense to remind us of our shared responsibility of blessing and divining everything that is around us. To see in us the image and likeness of God – in us and also in the lives of other people. We have to respect our own dignity as well as that of others.

We have the myrrh to remind us that eventually we have a divine destiny. We learned in science that whenever a star collapses it becomes a black hole sucking everything in its path to oblivion – to death. In our case, when we die we have a home somewhere to go. To heaven. Jesus Christ himself said, “My Father's house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you?” John 14:2

We have the 100 carat gold: the pure capacity and strength to respond to God's invitation everyday of our lives.

We have the Frankincense to bless and divine everything that we encounter and touch.

We have the Myrrh to take us home to the Father in heaven.

We are home now.

Fr. Allan S. Fenix

HOW-TO's.

We love “how-to” books because we would always like to learn something new in our lives.

In the first two days of the newly started year, we are being given a variety of options and choices in how we can convey God to others. What are they?

Yesterday, we saw the character of the Blessed Virgin Mary, who introduced God into human history by being the Mother of God or Theotokos, the God-bearer. Today, on the second day, we have John the Baptist, who did it by being “...the voice of one crying out in the desert, 'Make straight the way of the Lord.'” John 1:23

The Blessed Virgin Mary acted as a courier, physically delivering God into the world. On the other hand, John the Baptist did it by way of being a conduit for God spirit through voice and water.

All of us, as faithful believers, have a mission to do in bringing God to others. Depending on our temperament and innate resources, we are given these two choices or options. Do we want to do it physically like the Blessed Virgin Mary or like John the Baptist, as the conduit of God by way of voice and water?

The first option, the way of the Blessed Virgin Mary, is being a good Samaritan. It is living the corporal works of mercy – feeding the hungry, giving drink to the thirsty, clothing the naked, giving shelter to travelers, visiting the sick and those in prison, and burying the dead.

The second option, the way of John the Baptist, is being a catechist. It is living out the spiritual works of mercy- counseling the doubtful, instructing the ignorant, admonishing the sinner, comforting the sorrowful, forgiving injuries, bearing wrongs patiently, and praying for the living and the dead.

How do you wish to be a harbinger of the good news?  Are you of the Blessed Virgin Mary way, or that of John the Baptist?  Choose whichever way. The way of either of the two is good enough.

Fr. Allan Fenix